Monday, October 23, 2006

Sleeping and Eating

i know, my 3rd post for today so far… I wanted to blog this weekend but well, between eating and sleeping I just couldn’t seem to find time… I felt bad about doing absolutely nothing this weekend and then decided I shouldn’t… it’s nice to just take time off and do nothing!! R was productive this Sunday though… he cleaned out the 2nd bedroom, well, now you can walk in it… I had redone our bedroom in may and the stuff was still in the 2nd bedroom… oops… so he cleaned that up…
all weekend long I napped/slept… and if I wasn’t sleeping I was eating… dang!! As I mentioned the other day I have been coping with my stress in self-destructive ways… no yoga, no meditating… one of my self-destructive coping skills- eating!!! I’ve been eating everything in sight… to my surprise I’ve only gained 11lbs of the 49.5 that I’ve lost this year (I’m going to start working on losing those 11lbs again and hopefully more)… I am really going to start doing better though… starting today… I don’t know if I would ever admit this to anyone but km but this past week I’ve eaten so much cookie dough… you know, the frozen pre-cut cookies that you buy from the kids for fundraisers… 3lbs of raw cookie dough… 48 cookies… and I’ve eaten all but 9 of them in about a week… excellent!! I’m not happy with myself about this but obviously not mad enough to stop myself… Saturday I ventured out of the house about noon to go to mcdonald’s (I know ilax, I know.. bad girl!! J)… after I got home I did a couple loads of laundry and then laid down to nap… r got home a little after 3 (of course I was napping with the kitties on the bed) and he had brought me a cheeseburger home from the restaurant… I couldn’t refuse it!! so I ate that too… that’s pretty much how it went all weekend long… eating and sleeping… there have been so other self-destructive things I have been doing but we’ll save those for another day…
so I think the first addiction I need to deal with is food… I am addicted to food… usually it’s not even the taste… I’ll eat so fast I don’t even taste it… I just eat to eat… when I get done eating I’m usually thinking about my next meal… I can only imagine how horrible that sounds… but, it’s the truth… and that’s what my blog is for… does anyone else have this problem?

6 comments:

kellykellykelly said...

GIRL - you are not alone!

courtneym said...

thank you!!! that makes me feel better!! much better!!

kilax said...

Wow, this sounds exactly like something I would like to write in my blog, but am too embarassed. Thank you for sharing it and making me feel more normal!

Twice last week I went to McDonald's for their wonderfully greasy/gross french fries. And ordered MUCH MORE than I needed to say the least! I do the same thing - eat and eat to get my mind off of some other stress, and not even taste what I am eating :(

If I try to eat healty, I feel like I am depriving myself. The only time I have really been able to control my eating is when I have been happy with what I am doing and where I am in my life. It is so hard though :(

Good luck to both of us! I know we can get back on track!

courtneym said...

oh yeah!! i can so relate to that!! i was SO way embarassed to write that in my blog but then i was like, well, it's the one place that i am 100% honest (or as honest as i can be at the time) with myself... i had mcd's for lunch today!!! AAHHH!!
i understand the eating healthy too... i feel like i'm missing out on the "good stuff"... yeah, since r's been working late i've found myself eating more than i should.. plus, i know he's not home to be like, dang, you're eating ALL that?!? how embarassing!! but true...

kilax said...

I usually eat a lot when Steven is at work and I am at home (from school holiday). Then he comes home and is hungry, but I am too embarassed to tell him I pigged out all day! So I eat again! :(

courtneym said...

i understand... i do exactly the same thing.. r will be at work and i'll be pigging out... when he gets home (or shortly after) he gets hungry and i'm ok like, let's eat... even if i'm not hungry... at least i know i'm not the only one with this problem!!