Monday, July 31, 2006


Well, it’s Monday, opening day of The Cedar Tree…. Hopefully!! I’m still waiting on r to call and tell me that the health department cleared us and we are good to open!! He hasn’t called and it’s making me nervous but I know that it will all be ok… we got to talking last night about how good it was to see b& k and to get to spend time with them!! Even though we don’t get to see them as much as we would like too, it’s always really good to see them when we have a chance!! Then we started talking about the restaurant and how when he’s worked at other restaurants and it was opening day most of the time they didn’t even know what the menu was… usually the owner would come in and give it to them and have them go to town…. He said that he’s not stressing anything after the health dept… plus, he’s got all the “old” employees back who know what’s going on…. it may be a limited menu today since we weren’t allowed to get any food prep done but that’s ok…. That’s what the “soft” opening is for…. Give us a week to work the kinks out… then we can have our grand opening…. Sleep came last night but only after tossing and turning for a long time!! That’s ok though… hopefully things will calm down now that we’ll be open! So this morning when I woke up the stress instantly hit me…. then I got to work and had this email and it is so true!! They say that the universe gives you what you need when you need it and I’m really finding this to be the truth…. Everything that you need in this moment you have… there is no reason to worry about the future and all the what-if outcomes…. Just re-reading the email helps instill a sense of peace in me….

You may feel the effects of recent stress in your life today. This could be due to your worrying about life events, which could leave you feeling exhausted as a result. While it is important to realize that there is some value in thinking about your life, today might be a good time to work on learning how to relinquish your concerns about the future. You could do this by training your mind to stay in the present. During the day when you find that you are thinking about some future outcome, you can gently remind yourself that you are not in the present and that your thoughts are not part of your present reality. This should bring you back to where you are in the now. You might notice that your worries about the future dissipate as soon as you ground yourself in the moment.Letting ourselves see that the now holds everything we need frees us from our future concerns. It is easy to become preoccupied with things that haven’t yet happened. We have the tendency to play different scenarios over in our minds about what will occur if we take certain actions. Although, if we think about it, the results we spend so much time thinking about are seldom realized. The universe has its own way of leading us through life, and as a result, we can never really anticipate what will happen. By keeping your mind grounded in the present, your worries about the future will diminish today.

Sunday, July 30, 2006


it's funny the way that i don't notice things.... like for instance, the way that i've been stressing today.... our friends, b & k, who we haven't seen in a long time came in from dallas today... it was so good to see them!! k was an enormous help to me today, especially at kinko's.... whew, that could have been a disaster had she not been there... copiers can be intimidating!! i never would have thought that!! she helped me "stuff" menus too!! that would have been a long and tedious task by myself! r was pretty stressed today.... he does a good job "hiding" it though... to me it's pretty obvious that i take my stress out on him.... i know, it's not nice and i really am working on it.... to me though he doesn't really show his stress.... i mean, i can see it but it's hard for others to see sometimes.... anywho, b & k left to head back home and r left to go to lowe's and/or home depot... he had to get a few more things for the restaurant and i was finishing up stuffing my breakfast menus.... he left and i finished my menus and sat down on the couch to relax... relax, um, maybe not... (the menus were stressing me out but not after kinko's....) so, i sit down on the couch and realize, dang, i am stressing... i keep trying to joke about not worrying about the restaurant and not really having anything to do with it but i am stressing.... once again, way down deep, i know that there is nothing to stress about... everything is going to work out and will be great but i am nervous!! so nervous!! i know r is too.... and i feel really bad for him.... he's going into tomorrow not "knowing" how the day is going to go down.... i guess you could say it's like starting a new job and having no clue about anything... i am hoping that blogging this will help me let the stress go.... it is and isn't.... i don't know that at this point that much would really de-stress me except for tomorrow getting here and being over with asap.... r is home from the store now... i'm going to talk to him and figure out what we're having for dinner.... more later!!

p.s.... i am loving having a wireless laptop!! it is so amazing!!! thank you both so much!!

Friday, July 28, 2006


things are much better today... maybe i should phrase it like this, my outlook is much better today.... i was just stressing yesterday and was looking to get upset with someone and r just happened to be the "chosen one".... it's all good though.... like i said yesterday, everything happens for a reason and though i may not be able to see what the reason is right now, there is one... there's no use trying to "force" everything/anything... everything will fall into place at the right time... i've learned that that's really how everything happens... for some reason though i think that everything should happen at my pace... i'm working on that though.... my stress level is still high but that's to be expected.... we've got a lot of work ahead of us this weekend but i'm ready for it... it will all be well worth it, it already is!! things are good though!! we're getting our "problem areas" taken care of and then all we really have left to do is paint the non-smoking section... there are "little" things that need to be done, filling salt & pepper shakers, sugar bottles (?) for the tables, things like that... but that's no problem!! no worries!!! more asap!!!

i really like this....

Lessons on Life
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons t hat they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.

Moral lessons:
Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or later.

Thursday, July 27, 2006


It could be worse… it can always be worse…. Besides, this is the only setback that we’ve really had so far…. R said that the health department didn’t pass us because there were some spots that needed to be painted (in the dish area & our storage room… you can’t have any “raw” unpainted wood) and the inspector isn’t sure if we need a separate mop sink… he said something about a hand sink, but we have one of those… I’m going to call r back at lunch and talk to him… I didn’t get a chance to really talk to him earlier… he didn’t seem to be in too good of a mood though… I can only imagine…. We went out there last night for a little bit and worked but we weren’t really worried about anything because we thought that everything looked good…. What I don’t really understand, how did the previous owner pass her inspection?!? She had really goofy ideas about everything and was not a cleaner at all! Everything happens for a reason though… it’s going to be ok…. The restaurant looks so much better than it did before too!! (I’m taking this personally and I shouldn’t be!) It just kinda upsets me that we didn’t pass…. I’m pretty sure that it upsets r too…. we’ve been out there every night this week working and after Tuesday night I felt so much better… we got so much accomplished… now I’m thinking that maybe we weren’t working on the “right” things… needless to say, my stress level is back up…. I know I keep “saying” this but it will be ok and everything does happen for a reason…. I think I feel so bad because we have been telling everyone that we will be open on Monday and now I’m not sure if we will be…. I can’t let all of this get to me though…. we’ve worked really hard to get to where we’re at and I know we can do this… it’s just going to be a long weekend…. that was to be expected though…. maybe a longer than expected weekend…. I’m already so tired I feel like I need some toothpicks to keep my eyelids open!! I so did not want to get up this morning…. No biggie, sleep is over-rated anyhow… hehe….
I talked to r at lunch and he said that he’s not worried about us opening… worst case scenario, we won’t open until around 8am Monday morning (instead of 6am)… or we can pull an all-nighter tonight if we have too…. it’s all little “petty” stuff that we need to take care of… like the raw wood shelves in our dry storage area, we didn’t know those had to be painted… r knew the ones in the kitchen had to be painted but not those… the inspector explained that if a can or something was to burst then it would contaminate the wood… ok,I understand that… I just wish we would have known… but, we’ll get it taken care of…. Hopefully the inspector can come back out tomorrow though… I’m going crazy right now because I’m just sitting here at work… that’s actually all I’ve been doing all day long… just sitting here… I could be out there working but I can’t be because I’ve got to be here… I would ask my boss if I could leave early but he’s been in a foul mood this week about people not being at work… so I’m not even going to say anything to him about leaving early… I’m just not a procrastinator (and my husband is)… it bothers me to no end to wait until the last minute to get everything done but sometimes that’s just how it has to be… the health dept was one of those things where we could have had them come out to do a pre-inspection but he didn’t really think it was necessary… now, we’re down to the wire rushing around trying to get all this stuff done… I told him that I didn’t really want to be rushing around at the last minute but…. Nothing we can do about it now… we’ll just do what we have to do to get it done… The panic attacks are just a little overwhelming right now… I had to get that off my chest! I know I need to be grateful for what we’ve already got done and for all the help that we’ve had and I’m really trying!!

Monday, July 24, 2006


it's monday.... and i am stressing pretty good.... over what, change... i know that change is a good thing... all endings are also beginnings.... r's last day at work was friday.... this morning he got up at the same time i did to get ready to go out to the restaurant.... i think he was really nervous and it kinda hit both of us that we have one week until we open.... it seems that there is so much left to be done and it's kinda overwhelming.... when i talked to him earlier he had 2 employees up there helping him... he said that he didn't really know what to do... for me personally, i am not nervous regarding the success of the restaurant, i know it will succeed... i am sitting here trying to figure out exactly why i'm having a panic attack and my anxiety is flaring up.... i think it could just be general stress over everything.... r not getting a "regular" paycheck, starting our own business, all the stresses & responsibilities that come with owning your own business, and maybe actually opening up.... deep down i know that all will be ok and that we will succeed in our venture but change is scary... for me anyways... i need to change that thought though.... change should not scare me... (i've been looking thru all the postive thoughts that i keep and can't find one that i can kinda remember that i was looking for.... oh well, apparently it was not needed that bad...) i should accept and embrace change... i am working on that.... the unknown is what i fear... though i shouldn't... i have been shown that i can manifest my own destiny and knowing that i should have no fear for the future... i should be able to accept change and know that everything happens for a reason and that the universe will provide me with all that i need... and in this moment, i do have everything that i need.... if i start thinking about lacking and not having enough then that is what i will manifest... knowing that deep down i know without a doubt that all will be ok i am going to embrace this change... life was good before, r and i were pretty much able to go and do as we pleased but he had kinda hit the ceiling regarding pay at his old job... we were fine now and probably would stay fine as long as we didn't want too much more.... owning our own business will allow us greater financial sucess and there really is no "ceiling" to hit.... how hard we want to work at this will determine our financial reward.... this morning after r left for the restaurant i was having bad anxiety.... i feel so much better now though just getting all this off my chest... i just need to let the deep down knowing of success push out the anxiety and have peaceful thoughts and feelings.... i know this is easier said than done but it is what i'm going to work on.... out with the bad, in with the good...
on a different note though, we did have a productive weekend... mom and dad came out and helped us paint friday and saturday... we got a lot done.. we are so close to being done with the smoking section and the lobby area.... so close!!! once we got those 2 areas painted i will feel so much better!! we took the day off yesterday because i have a sneaky feeling that we'll probably be out there most every night this week and all this weekend... i'm fine with that though... opening day is coming soon!!! besides working on the restaurant there hasn't been much else going on... that's not a bad thing and i'm not complaining, i just don't think there is much else to blog about right now... until next time.....

Friday, July 21, 2006


YEAH!!! it's friday!!! i am so glad!!! we've got a lot of things that we need to get done between now and monday, the 31st.... that is the day that the cedar tree officially opens... i know we'll get it all done but the next week is going to be a tad bit stressful.... that's ok though... it'll be so worth it... the end result will be great!!! r was telling me that his store (at his "old" job even though today is his last day) got a plaque from corporate.... his store was #2, in the whole chain of stores, for the highest sales increase in 2005!! that makes me really proud and happy!!! (especially since we've bought the restaurant!!) not that i had any doubt about it being successful, it's just more of a reassurance... i am proud of him though and not just for the sales increase thing either.... he has been kicking butt and taking names lately... and i know it's just going to keep going (which is fine by me!)... he told me that he's in "do the damn deal" mode.... that phrase came from some movie or something but as of the past week he "informed" me that that is the mode that he has been in.... i'm really excited about the restaurant and i know that he is too... it is stressful but it hasn't been that bad... the only thing that i feel we've really been battling is the paint... who knew that paint could be as hectic as it's been... no biggie though, if things keep going like they have i can deal with the paint!! i would gladly take that as the biggest stress that we have/had.... i talked to mom and dad last night and they have volunteered (and have been volunteering) to come out and help us... r and i wanted to wait and see how much we could get done and then get a final push going this weekend, week, and next weekend.... it makes me feel good because we've had so much support...
besides the restaurant stuff there hasn't been too much going on, not that the restaurant isn't enough!! i took the "night off" from the restaurant last night and cleaned the house... well, r had to close so i didn't have/get to paint... i need to get to working on a list of all the things that i need to do before we open and what we need to buy... i've got to go to the grocery store before i go home from work today because the precious little kitties ran out of their favorite fancy feast.... and they just pretty much won't eat what i do happen to have... if it's not the grilled flaked tuna in gravy i don't think they want to have anything to do with it... that's ok though... i helped make them the way they are today... i can't blame anyone but myself!! r did try to tell me... and for some goofy reason i thought i knew what i was doing... let's see, he's had cats his whole life; me, my only pet was a hamster... shoulda listened to him... that's ok though... i have figured out that sometimes he is right... i'm thinking really hard to see if there is anything else that i've been thinking about blogging... i've been thinking about it all week long but always got busy or something else came up... well, i'll blog as much as possible this next week!!!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

No Way!!!

now really, this can't be happening... it is too exciting and cute!!! so yesterday I was “tailing” (HAHAHA) you about the first time cat owner blog… ok, get this!! now, the kitty has a blog about the kitty owner!!!! it is amazing and awesome!!! i can't even begin to tell you how excited i am about this!!! just in case you're interested....

Food for Thought

i have been reading The Te of Piglet and i really liked this so i thought i would share it...

The next time a What If starts badgering you, look it straight in the eyes and ask it, “All right, what’s the very worst that could possibly happen?” And when it answers, ask yourself, “What could I do about it?” You’ll find that there always will be something. Then you’ll see that you can have power in any situation. And when you realize that, the fears will go away and we won’t be intimidated by fears- neither fear of failure nor fear of success.

Matsuo Basho: Every bend in the road brings me new ideas; every dawn gives me fresh feelings.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Best Blog Ever!!

i was looking around the internet today and discovered the best blog ever!!! i so wish i would have thought about blogging about my kitties!!! if you are a kitty lover you must check this blog out!!!

Monday, July 17, 2006


well, once again, it is monday.... things have been good lately, just really busy... i was busy at work before we went on vacation, busy over vacation, and since vacation i've been busy at work and home.... work isn't that big of a deal... just basic work stuff.... busy trying to play catch up from being on vacation and because i seem to be the only one in the office working... nice!! it really wouldn't bother me if i didn't feel so disrespected.... that's another story for another time though....
r and i had a good productive weekend.... saturday we got up and went and painted at the cedar tree... sunday morning i got up and went to the grocery store and planned on having a nice, quiet, uneventful day.... it wasn't too bad.... we got to replace our hot water heater at the house though.... that was a nice chunk of change that i was planning on saving but that's why we save, for rainy days....
i would have to say that even though we've had a few setbacks they've all been nothing major... i tried for 3 days straight last week to get the paint for the restaurant and didn't do so well... that's ok though, we now know what we have to do in order to get the paint... since that's the only real issue we've had with the restaurant so far i can deal with that.... i've been trying to call all the gov't agencies that you have to contact to find out what posters you have to have displayed and what regulations we need to comply with... that is a pain in the rear though!! i suppose that's to be expected since we're dealing with the gov't...
this is r's last week at his "old" job... i think that may be why i'm starting to stress so much.... his "regular" weekly paycheck that we can count on is about to end... that is nerve racking in itself... i know we'll be fine and everything will work out but it's really scary.... i still feel like i have an ass ton of stuff to do though... calling, getting the utilities changed over into our name, put an ad in the local paper... the stress hit r the sunday before our vacation, it's just now hitting me.... in 2 mondays we are supposed to be opening.... whew... it'll all work out and i have faith in that... it's just a little stressing though....
i know i haven't really blogged in a while... we've just been working on the restaurant and then our "usual" stuff.... the restaurant has been keeping us busy though... all the "red tape" and stuff you get to go thru.... i'll just be so glad when it's open and running... my mood has been, well, ok lately... not good but it has gotten bad... the bad usually occurs up here at work when i get mad because of the whole no-respect thing... it'll all be ok though... i just have to take one day at a time... i know i can do this!! there is no challenge that i can't overcome!!! i just received an email that i think fits nicely in here... until later!!

Our lives are an exercise in facing challenges. We dream the grandest of dreams as youngsters only to discover that we must cultivate copious inner strength and determination in order to meet our goals. Our hard work does not always yield the results we expect. And it is when we find ourselves frustrated by the trials we face or unable to meet our own expectations that we are most apt to take notice of those individuals who appear to accomplish great feats effortlessly. Some people's lives seem to magically fall into place. We can see the blessings they have received, the ease with which they have attained their desires, their unwavering confidence, and their wealth. But, because we can never see the story of their lives as a whole, it is important that we refrain from passing judgment or becoming envious. Throughout our lives, we glimpse only the outer hull of others' life experiences, so it's tempting to presuppose that the abundance they enjoy is the result of luck rather than diligent effort. In a small number of cases, our assumptions may mirror reality. But very few people "have it easy." Everyone must overcome difficulties and everyone has been granted a distinctive set of talents with which to do so. An individual who is highly gifted may nonetheless have to practice industriously and correct themselves repeatedly in order to cultivate their talents. Their myriad accomplishments are more likely than not the result of ongoing hard work and sacrifice. You, no doubt, have natural abilities that you have nurtured and your gifts may be the very reason you strive as tirelessly as you do. Yet others see only the outcome of your efforts and not the efforts themselves. Our intellects, our hearts, and our souls are constantly being tested by the universe. Life will create new challenges for you to face each time you prove yourself capable of overcoming the challenges of the past. What you deem difficult will always differ from that which others deem difficult. The tests you will be given will be as unique as you are. If you focus on doing the best you can and making use of the blessings you have been granted, the outcome of your efforts will be a joyous reflection of your dedication.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Cedar Tree

this is going to be short because i am covered up at work but r and i are now the official owners of The Cedar Tree!! i'm so excited and can't wait to get it open and running!! more later, i've got to get caught up!!!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Checking In

it's 2:54am and i've been awake for a couple of hours so i decided to get out of bed to see if i could make myself tired again... the fact that i was in bed and asleep shortly after 8 last night probably has something to do with the fact that i'm awake... i was so tired though... i couldn't keep my eyes open and thought i'll just go to bed...
i guess you could say that my vacation is officially over considering i leave for work in about 5 hours... yuck!! not yuck to going back to work just to my co-worker... i am going in with a positive attitude though... seeing as how i had a week off from him maybe that will make things better!
r and i had a good but busy vacation... we got a lot of stuff done that we needed to get done for the restaurant... we were up there saturday morning painting and the head waitress that worked there before stopped by... she is really nice and i am so excited that she's coming back... so are the 2 cooks and the other waitress.... most of our "staffing needs" have been taken care of and that's a huge sigh of relief.... i think we may need to find a dishwasher and maybe one more waitress.... the last 2 are kinda optional though... the head waitress, which is what's she will be again, is so excited... she said that she's talked to the others that are coming back and everyone is really looking forward to it... we plan on keeping everything the same... the only thing that will be different are the paint colors... they even volunteered to help paint! we ran around last week and worked on getting our "red tape" new business stuff taken care of... the only thing we have left to do is to get our change of ownership application back to the health dept... that's kinda a hectic process but that's ok... we're working on it and we'll get it taken care of... soon!! i have a few more calls to make but after that it's pretty much just working on getting the restaurant ready to open... our tentative date, july 31st... it'll be here soon! it seems like everything is just falling into place... i hope it keeps working this way, it's amazing!!
well, i think i'm getting tired, i'm yawning... i'm off to try to get some more sleep... if i can't sleep i'm sure i'll be back!!