Our Motto

This was on our (dc and I's) table at Bubba Gump's Shrimp in Colorado over the summer... and it is so true and fitting... so we have adopted it as our motto, because, you know, it is funny how things work out.

Quote

I stumbled upon this quote today and I really like it...

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. –Dr. Seuss

Deep Breaths

Hopefully you can’t just feel the ugh coming out in this post… today has been one of those days when everyone just manages to crawl all over your last nerve!!!! I think that all the idiots of the world are in town today and are either calling or coming by to bother me… it’s just one of those days…
I took my car in today at lunch… the air bag light is still on (from since oh, November-ish) and the part they were supposed to order in December never got ordered and no notes were mad as to what the problem was… so they asked me to bring it in again to have it re-tested… I know, it’s not like I’ve just been on them about the problem either… I’ve been procrastinating… I have no idea why it’s such an “ordeal” for me to take my car to the shop, it’s not like I have to do anything but take it in and drop it off.
More “good” news… I found out yesterday that if someone isn’t paying their taxes, like payroll, unemployment, sales, or whatever (if they own a business) and your name is on the taxes somewhere that can go on your credit and affect your credit… which brings me to…. The ex hasn’t been paying any of the taxes for the restaurant since I quit taking care of them (figuring and paying them)…. The restaurant is a sole- proprietorship but my name was on the unemployment tax so I’m not really sure if it’s anywhere else… luckily km’s sister is taking care of the tax situation for me… he’s also not paying on his part of the debt from the divorce and the company doesn’t honor divorce decrees so even though it’s his debt per the decree since we both signed the loan papers and he hasn’t refinanced it it’s still going against me… I can only hope he’s still making the house payment since the mortgage company doesn’t honor divorce decrees either… normally I try not to be a “number dropper” but in this case I’m going to be… my credit score at the beginning of September was an 816… a freaking 816!!! Pretty damn good if I do say so myself!!!! I don’t even want to know what it is now as I am constantly getting letters “reminding” me of the payment that is past due… I just need to keep reminding myself that even though my credit may suck (cheese) balls I am much happier now and I can deal with this, I will take bad credit over happiness in this situation… (I think this is going to be my new mantra)… ok, enough of the bad and negative…
Um, positive and good… positive and good… we still haven’t been to the gym, lol!!! (ok, maybe that’s not good- I was just joking!)… Saturday I get to go to a birthday party for jw’s twins who are turning 6!! I can’t believe they are already going to be 6- I remember when she was pregnant with them!!!! (mental note- charge the camera battery) so as of now I think the plan for Saturday is dc is going to work for a while, I’m going to go to the birthday party, and then we are going to find something to do to enjoy the weather!! The weather this weekend is supposed to be in the 70’s! YAY!!! Another positive- in a little over a month time changes and that is all kinds of goodness in itself!!! That means warmer weather is on the way and it will start staying light later!!! Plus, golf season is right around the corner AND I get to use my pretty pink balls with my initials on them!!!! Ok, I’m feeling better now!!! Much more positive!!! I should have blogged earlier and got all the negativity and ick out here sooner!!! I just hope the nasty doesn’t stick on you my fellow bloggers!!!

1 Month Down...

I really can’t believe it’s already February… one month of the new year is already over… I almost feel like I’ve had bloggers block lately… I’ve had a list of stuff to blog about but it doesn’t seem very interesting… then again, are any of my posts just really that interesting, lol?!?! ok, so what’s been going on… um, in January I had jury duty, although that seems like an eon ago now… it was ok… I’d only heard horror stories about jury duty but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be… (maybe it’s been long enough that it doesn’t seem that bad now)… I learned a lot about the court system and how people can get away with stuff- let me clarify that… the defense attorney objected to everything- he was trying to get the case thrown out on a technicality and I can see how that happens… anyways, it was a learning experience…
I saw my first 3D movie… dc and I went to see My Bloody Valentine in 3D and it was awesome!!!! not only is 3D super cool but the movie was really good!!! it was a good scary movie, not cheesy like some of them are… I highly recommend it!!
Lately dc and I have been joking about getting old… you know, things like, you know you’re getting old when… two of our “getting old” signs… we went to a dinner party in January and had a blast… a group of my friends from junior high (we’re all still friends) decided to have a monthly dinner party… there are 5 of us and each month one of us will host it at our house… I’m not sure what we’re going to do when it’s our turn since the apartment and the rent house are not big enough for 10 people but we’ll figure something out… maybe someone will “loan” us their house… anyways, we had a blast!!!! The dinner party was so much fun, I absolutely can’t wait until the next one!!! (as of right now I’m not sure if dc will be able to go to the February one- he may be moving his stuff back from Corpus that day- which I’m not happy about but at least that will be taken care of!)… and our second “getting old” sign… we started making cheese… he got me hooked on fresh mozzarella cheese, it is so good!!! we’ve tried to buy it at the store but it is kinda expensive so we were researching how to make it and found a cheese kit… we bought the kit and Friday night we made our first batch of cheese!!! The directions said if your first batch doesn’t turn out good don’t get discouraged but we were really impressed!!! The cheese was good!!! so now we are cheese artisans!!! We were hanging out with his sister and her boyfriend yesterday, along with some golf friends, and they were making fun of us for being cheese artisans… it’s ok, they’re just jealous, not everyone is cool enough to make cheese…
One final note I suppose… we really need to get back to the gym… bad… I wore a pair of shorts Saturday and they didn’t fit near as good as they did about a month ago…. Not good…

Maybe It's Not So Bad

As an update to yesterday’s post, things are better today… something else occurred to me though… I’ve had my “visitor” basically for the past 3 weeks… yes, I’m on the pill but it doesn’t really seem to be working as far as regulating goes… so my hormones could be (and probably are) completely out of whack…
dc and I went and looked at Christmas lights last night. That is probably one of my most favorite things to do. I love looking at Christmas lights. We used to go look at lights together, years ago. I honestly don’t remember the last time I went to look at lights though. anyways, back to the point… the Christmas lights were disappointing this year… I don’t know if they have been the past few years but as of last night there were only a few people that had lights up (I say a few- a few compared to what I remember). We were talking and we don’t know if the economy is the reason or if people are just being Scroogey… the ex brought all my holiday decorations over about a month ago and they’re all sitting in the 2nd bedroom… the only problem is, I have no place to put anything… I’m debating on trying to put out a little bit of stuff or just not doing it… last year I didn’t have anything out either due to the move… I love decorating for Christmas though… so, decisions, decisions…
dc’s working and I just finished cleaning… I thought I’d stop by and blog for a minute before I go get in the shower… here’s to hoping his last weekend here is a good one!!

Catching Up

Where to start… dc and I have been hanging out, all the time… when he’s here he stays with me… his sister is getting divorced and her and her kitties took over his old room at his parents house… since he’s been staying with me that’s how "the takeover" happened… I don’t mind though, I actually like it, ok, I really like having him there. He’s leaving Friday to go back to Corpus but I honestly don’t think he’ll be down there (permanently) much longer. He will be back for Thanksgiving so he’ll only be gone for about 2 weeks this time. He doesn’t really seem to like it much, not as much as he thought he would anyways. Besides, he’s actually here more than he’s there. I just realized that when he leaves Friday he will have been here for a month. He says that it’s not fun down there with his roommate, if it was me it would be different but it’s not, and that the longer we’re together the more he wants to be here and doesn’t want to leave here. (Plus, his office is here, he just takes work with him when he goes back and then has stuff shipped down there.) I hate the fact that he’s not happy down there but hopefully he won’t be down there much longer, from the way he’s talking anyways. So keep your fingers (and toes) crossed that he’ll be moving back soon!

The past two weekends we’ve gone to Dallas and gone bowling at the 300 Dallas and then on to Dave & Buster’s (if you haven’t noticed we really like D&B’s). I have now officially scored my high score bowling, 127, which I have a picture of!! (please don’t “judge” the picture- the beer was going down way too smooth!)


At D&B’s we won Brian (the pink hippo) a sister, her name is Brianna. She is a (lighter color- think baby) pink hippo (and smaller) and has on a cheerleader outfit, too cute. I don’t have a picture of her yet but I will. I may even try to post a video of her “singing” and “dancing”, she is so cute when she dances. She shakes her little hips. dc and I had been joking for quite sometime that Brian has been telling us that he wants a sister so we went on a mission to win him a sister and we did. We have now accumulated over 30,000 tickets. I have no idea what we’re going to do with all of them, but right now we just plan to keep on accumulating them.

Momma and daddy were out of town the last week of October so dc and I borrowed Scrabble and Monopoly from them. We have had the best time playing games. That’s what we do at night (and on Sundays), play Scrabble and Monopoly. Up until Monday night I had lost every single game of Scrabble that we’ve played. My Scrabble skills are improving though, I finally won three games the other night!! I’ve been joking that while he’s gone I’m going to play by myself. We’ve only played one game of Monopoly, it continued over like 4 days though. It kept getting late and we would get tired so we would pack it up and continue on the next day. He ended up winning though, no surprise to me, I’ve never ever won a game of Monopoly in my life.


Here are Mazzy & Murphy "playing" Monopoly although before they discovered the box lid they were trying to eat the houses and the money-

(Yes, Murphy weighs 17.5 lbs- I don't know what to do though, they're both on low-fat food and they each get 1/2 cup a day, that's it. By the looks of things you would think I feed them non-stop!)

We’ve been working out although we took this week off since it is his last week here. (He was going to leave Wednesday, then it was Thursday, now it’s Friday, but I know he’s leaving Friday but only because his friend is flying into Houston to visit his uncle about business and then driving to Corpus for the weekend. If his friend wasn’t flying in I don’t think he would be going back.) So we took this week off but I finally did take a picture of our October workout calendar with the stars on it. We'll see how good our November calendar looks after we have a whole month to work on it! The working out/losing weight is going fairly well. So far I’ve lost 7.6lbs and he’s lost 9.4lbs. They say it’s easier for guys to lose weight than girls but I think right now my problem is my “visitor”; she’s getting ready to visit and I really honestly thinks that messes with my weight. We’re taking our measurements tonight too so we can see how we’re doing there.
I almost forgot, I entered a raffle for a year membership to CardioPlus and I won!! It’s open 24 hours and it’s right by the apartment. I haven’t gone by to check it out yet but I plan on doing that at the beginning of next week. I’m hoping they’ll have a yoga class or something!! I’m excited though and I can't wait to see what they have to offer!
And lastly, my face… man alive, what is the deal with my face. I switched birth control back in February to see if the new one would help with my pms- the emotional side of it. It has but I don’t know if it’s causing my face to break out horribly or what. (My face hasn’t been out of control since February though, only since sometime in the late summer.) The only other thing I can think of that has changed was the base I was using. I changed my base in the summer because dc and I were always outside and I was getting tan so I needed to change colors so I decided to go with an “all mineral” powder base. Saturday I went back to my “old” base though, hopefully that will help because I’ve even gone to the doctor and she gave me a topical stuff to put on my face to try and that’s so not helping either. And it’s not like my “situations” are just small, oh hell no, they’re these large nasty pus filled things. They are SO gross!!! I mean, nasty!!! (Sorry for being so nasty and descriptive). Since the topical stuff isn’t working I’ve got all my hope in the old base, maybe that will do the trick. If not I guess I will call the doctor about my not-so-new birth control or go to the dermatologist.

Here's a picture of dc that I took on Friday afternoon. He had to go to a funeral and he was all dressed up so I couldn't resist taking a picture of him looking so cute!!

So that’s what’s been going on in my corner of the world. Maybe next time I won't wait so long to post so that my blog won't be 10 million pages long.

Not-So-Smart

So since I don’t have any Vegas pictures with me at work right now I’ll blog about something not-so-smart that I recently did… well, it’s actually two things but they kinda tie in together… first let me say that I am proud to be a Texan… knowing this, you would think that I would know more about my state if I’m so proud of it… apparently that’s not quite the case… when dc and I were in Vegas, one of the dealers decided we would play a little Texas history (it seems everyone asked where we were from due to our accents)… needless to say I get quite nervous when this subject comes up as history (and geography) are not my strong suite… the dealer reassures me not to worry, the first question is quite easy… what is the capital of Texas? Um, I’m not sure… I know it’s either Austin or Houston but in the middle of the “panic” I don’t really know so I look at dc… he looks at me like, really, seriously, and says we were just there, you don’t remember driving by the capital- in Austin??? Hhhmm, we were just there weren’t we… and then I remembered remarking that the Capital building was so pretty… ok… so then the dealer says, well, ok, I won’t ask you anymore history questions… whew, I was off the hook then!!!
Fast forward to last night… I get a picture message from one of my friends and for the life of me I can’t figure out what in the hell it’s a picture of… I’m turning the phone all kinds of sideways, up and down, no luck…
So this morning I text him back and ask him where are you?
him: do you really have to ask?
me: um, yeah…
him: I was at the Alamo…
me: oh! That’s what that was!!! I thought it was a profile of some guy and spent forever trying to figure out who it was… duh!!!
Sometimes I really wonder about me… does anyone else have this problem… or am I just so special in my own ways???

My "Confessions"

I’ve spent most of my morning reading True Confessions- Body, Mom, & Office. Here are a few of my confessions for today:

• I know others have it worse than I do but I just can’t seem to shake the funk right now.
• I haven’t been thinking about dc leaving and going back “home” but now that he’s leaving Wednesday I am getting so depressed. The tears have already started. I don’t know why he had to move.
• I have quit taking all my prescription meds- except my birth control. I’ve been so moody and emotional lately it’s driving me crazy, ironic isn’t it? I read that it can take up to a month for your body to get back to “normal” after you quit taking meds... it hasn’t been a month yet but I’m still waiting.
• I’m letting the “little stuff” get to me. I think this has to do with quitting the meds and dc leaving too. I can’t read, watch, or hear anything even semi-emotional without tearing up.
  I want to write a book. I love to read and my whole life I’ve always wanted to write a book. I don’t know how or where to begin.

Happiness and suffering come from your own mind, not from outside. Your own mind is the cause of happiness; your own mind is the cause of suffering. To obtain happiness and pacify suffering, you have to work within your own mind.

Ike

For the past week dc and I have been watching (Hurricane) Ike to see where he’s headed… I’m so glad that dc didn’t go home but even if he would have, he would have had to come back. His roommate is still there but is waiting for orders to evacuate… dc and I have been joking about Ike tearing down his house but now it looks like Ike is knocking on his back door. Like I said, I’m so glad he’s here and not there. We’ll just have to wait and see what happens, where Ike decides to land, and what damage he does. I know everything happens for a reason, I’m just asking for your thoughts and prayers for everyone that has been and will be affected by Ike. You can track Ike here.

(On the good side, dc brought -almost- everything but his sleeping bag back with him when he came down. His roommate is packing up the rest of the "important" stuff to bring back. It's almost like it's a "sign" he should just stay here.)

(Update: dc just emailed me and said that the he talked to his roommate and that the water is already above their lowest deck and that the road surrounding the island is already flooding. I just read that WF is in an extended flood watch. We haven't even recovered from the flood a month ago and from my understanding this isn't part of Ike. 09/10 @ 2:10pm)

Tidbits

My blogging has become more and more infrequent… I’ve had a lot going on and have really been working on myself and trying to figure myself out… so far so good… so on that note I have 2 little tidbits to share today…

I got a letter from my lawyer yesterday that said Wednesday, August 28th at 4:00 we go to court and my divorce is final. YAY!!!

My plane flies out of Wichita at 6:05 tonight and lands in Corpus Christi at 10:35. There is a small layover at DFW but that’s ok. I’m going to see dc (David). My plane gets back Monday night at 9:04. I am so excited and I can’t wait. There is more to this story but I’ll share that another time.

Good things are going on and I hope they continue. I’m working on staying positive so that hopefully they will!!!

Summer Already

102! That's how hot it was here yesterday!!! 102 degrees!!! We tied the record high set in like 1942 or something. May 19th and it’s 102!!! The only downfall about living in Texas is the heat!!! It gets so damn hot here!!! Oh well, summer is officially here!!

All Aboard the Crazy Train

I don’t really know where to start… it’s been so long since I’ve actually blogged... and be warned, this is kinda crazy... like way outta left field...
Ok, I’m going to flat out ask because I have no idea what to do... has anyone ever felt this way or do you know anyone that has… what do you do? It goes back to the boy I blogged about so long ago… Thinking … anyways, it doesn’t really matter… to summarize the long lost blog about dc I would say:
Known each other from church since we were little
Friends especially as we got older and it was the whole boys are new and they maybe don’t have cooties anymore stage…
Still friends all the way thru our sophomore year in college… something happens and we hardly ever speak again… the last few times I saw him he was kinda an ass to me…
For some reason I can’t let this go… it bugged me for a while then went away… it’s back now… I had a dream about him several months ago and now he pops into my head at the most random times (and lately more and more)…
Yesterday I was talking to my hairdresser (the one I commented about) and she had been telling me how she had run into all these guys from her past in a really short time span… we started joking about me and she brought dc up… I said, I have been thinking about him lately and I am dying to see/talk to him… I leave to head home but decide to call her to see if she maybe wants to get a beer or a drink if she doesn’t have any plans… she was going to dinner with a friend and said I could join them, nah, I’ll just head home, thanks though… she calls me and says, you’re not going to believe this but we walked into the restaurant and she said dc was sitting right there!!!! OMG!!!! WHAT?!?!? I so should have gone… so anyways, she’s like, oh hey, Courtney and I were just talking about you… he’s like, tell her hi… if I only would have gone…
This whole situation is driving me absolutely insane… me with the way I’m acting and then the fact that I can get N-O information about him… I have half a mind to call him but that makes my tummy turn… so, I ask, what is wrong with me?!?!? This situation has me thinking crazy thoughts… what am I thinking though?!?! Anyone?? Anyone??
I’m officially a passenger of the Crazy Train now.

I have more to say on this… well, him others, they’re all connected/related… later though, it's almost time to do the daily sheet... (and my wine glass is empty)

The Craziness Continues...

This is going to be another random post… jumping from here to there… ranting, raving, crying… who knows what all it will encompass…
Lately I spend all of my time working… I have four jobs… yes, some of them are “seasonal” but right now I’m working 4 jobs… my job at WMP, taking care of the Cedar Tree stuff, bookkeeping for km and co-workers, and tax time… I do miss having free time but I know that I won’t be working this hard for too much longer… tax season round 1 is over in a month and a half… speaking of taxes, I really need to finish getting our stuff together so we can file… I’m so close to being done but there is so much to get together this year I’m a little overwhelmed… I’ll get it taken care of though… hopefully this week…
GOOD NEWS: Carl won the race in Las Vegas yesterday… Race 3 of the year and he’s won the last 2!!!! I worked while we watched the race yesterday… it was a really good race too!!! he had an issue during post-race inspection so we’ll have to wait and see what the outcome of that is… but he did win!!! So far it’s looking like a good season for Carl and the #99 team!!!
“Real” Life:
This morning I had an appt with my psychiatrist… this was one of those times I didn’t want to go because I knew he was going to upset me… (I think if I phrase it like this it makes me feel better- I was already upset I just knew he was going to ask questions and then I’d have to talk about everything and get even more upset but that’s just part of it)… I do love my head shrinker dr though… he is really awesome… so we’re changing my meds up… increasing the dosage on two of the billion I take…
I’ve been super emotional lately… some of the blurbs I mentioned two blogs ago are really appropriate… being angry, waking up depressed, thinking my life is shitty, and so on… I feel I have been trying to do everything in my power to stay positive and to keep an upbeat attitude but I feel like it’s not working… I’m tired, worn out, and have no motivation… trying to get myself to do anything is a battle… I’ve been taking everything super personally…. Needless to say I’ve been an emotional wreck lately… so this morning at the dr I didn’t even bring up the fact that I’ve been thinking about babies… if I can’t even keep myself in check and in control how am I going to take care of someone else?!? I go back in two weeks though to see how the med adjustment is doing…
I've also been eating like crazy... like there's no tomorrow... besides trying to shut everyone out, I think this is my way of trying to deal with everything, to just eat... I bought a pair of jeans maybe three weeks ago and they are already getting way too tight!!! I hate this and I have to do something about it but it seems that all I can think about is food...
The weather here has been absolutely nuts for several weeks… yesterday it was 82, today we have a chance of snow- up to 3” (with a high of 40- that was this morning when I woke up)… and tomorrow it’s supposed to be in the 60’s… maybe that’s why everyone is still sick and can’t get over this crap that’s going around… I’ve been battling the flu/sinus nastiness for the 2nd time… R has it for the first time, still, and can’t shake it… he’s been thru one round of antibiotics and he’s still sick… it seems that almost everyone is sick with this stuff and it lingers… once you get it you can’t get rid of it…
One final rant before I go… I try so hard to be a nice person and to help anyone out when I can… it seems that the more and more you try to help certain people the more and more they take advantage of your niceness… then they expect you to do everything for them all the time… like I don’t have enough of my own stuff to do and take care of… I’m not saying I mind helping people out or mind doing stuff for people it just frustrates me to no end that people take advantage of your niceness…
Today I’m grateful for my psychiatrist and my wonderful understanding willing-to-put-up-with me and all my craziness husband…

Dirty

when r and i bought our house we discovered that the ice maker wasn't working... r read thru the manual to see what the problem was... the fridge won't let the ice maker work if the water filter is clogged... long story short, we decided to order a new filter... i was looking online (at work of course so the manual was at home) and was kinda having a hard time figuring out which one to buy... there wasn't a black one... there was a white one that looked like the black one but it was white... so this was the dilemma i found myself in... so i chanced it and bought two!! they arrived in the mail today and guess what!!! it is the right one AND i think at some time ours was white too!!! but here's my thought... the fridge is less than one year old, so it's only had tap water running thru it for less than one year... i have been drinking tap water my whole life... up until the last year or two... this is just dirty!!! (i apologize for the crappy photos... i'm blaming it on the camera until we get a new camera!)

Blah

I am constantly amazed at how fast my moods can change… this week was a really good week… I hadn’t even thought about having a not-so-good day until today…. last night right before R got home I got really tired… like couldn’t even hold my eyes open tired… I got the daily sheet for the restaurant done and crashed on the couch… I vaguely remember waking up sometime later and stumbling to bed… I slept hard all night long but it wasn’t a good sleep… I was restless and kept having really bad night sweats… when I woke up this morning I realized I even forgot to turn my alarm clock on (that never happens)… when I woke up this morning I was tired… I’m still tired… like dead tired… dragging… I have no energy… and I’m freezing… I’m not in a bad mood, I’m just not in a good mood… I’m just here and blah… I don’t know if I’m trying to catch something or what… I just keep closing my eyes and almost drifting off to sleep… at least it’s Friday though!! and I just keep trying to remind myself that tomorrow I get to go see Mary (massage therapist)… she said she will only do my head, neck, and shoulders… that she’s stopping at my bra line because she doesn’t want to mess anything up regarding my back surgery… I go back to the doctor the Tuesday after Thanksgiving so hopefully he’ll release me for massages… that would be nice… anyways, it will be nice to have her work on my neck, shoulders, and head… I have lots of nice stress knots that I grew just for her to work on… I hate to wish time away but I’m ready for 5:00!!

Here and There

things have been very busy lately but that’s ok, everything is starting to calm down… the 2nd tax deadline is over Monday, the 15th… so there’s not too much more of that left then it will just be keeping books for km…
yesterday was Kris’s funeral… it was good but sad… I liked what the Pastor had to say and the way he said it… it was very fitting and comforting…
our house is still showing… this is a good thing… we just need a buyer now!!
Last night I looked out the back door and there were 2 BYK’s laying on the concrete… it still breaks my heart… I just try not to look at them…
The first Saturday in October there’s always a Knights of Columbus dinner that T invites everyone up here too… km and her husband met r and I there… they have door prizes and then 4 “big” drawings… the grand prize drawing was a $750 gift certificate to united supermarkets and a $750 gift certificate to walmart and guess what?!?! I won it!!! on top of winning 2 door prizes, a $25 gift certificate to olive garden and then another $25 gift certificate to on the border!!! Km and the hub won 2 door prizes too!!! I am so dang excited about winning the grand prize… that’s like someone giving us $1500!! I can buy groceries at united and then when we move I can buy paint and anything else that we might need at walmart! Now how perfect did that work out?!?!
Last Wednesday I went to the dr. for a bacterial infection and am still not feeling better… she gave me a steroid shot to help kick out the infection along with antibiotics but I’m not feeling any better… in fact, I’m feeling worse… I’m going to stick it out as long as I can, see what happens… she did blood work and her nurse called me on Friday to ask me some questions… one of her questions was if I was taking a water pill… I’m not even sure what a water pill is… she asked how much water I drank a day and I told her between 100 and 120 oz. at work plus whatever I drink when I get home which is almost always unsweet decaf tea… she told me that I didn’t need to drink so much water… it’s not good for you… apparently I was flushing out my electrolytes and all the “good things” that my body needs and of course an electrolyte imbalance weakens your immune system… so did my surgery… so now I have been instructed to drink Gatorade each day… my only thing, I’m not working out and I’ve heard that if you’re not working out and you drink Gatorade it can make you gain weight… I’m not sure if that’s true or not but that’s just what I heard… then I found out that you can actually die from drinking too much water! What is that all about?!?! Anyways, I’m just doing what I’m told…
And I have got to start walking again… since I’ve been back at work I haven’t been walking… I’ve had a lot of stuff going on but after the way my back has felt lately and the 3 hours of sleep I got last night I have decided that come hell or highwater the walking is going to start again… last night I couldn’t even move without waking up in excruciating pain and I could not get comfortable… It reminded me of Charlie horses but all of my belly/mid-section and my legs... bad!… the kitties normally walk all over us during the night but last night mazzy put her paw on my leg and I came up out of the bed so fast it was scary… it’s a different kind of pain than what I had before… I can tell this is from not walking… so tonight I am walking!!! I need some sleep and some good sleep on top of that!!
I suppose I should actually do some work now… not that I’m really wanting too but I suppose I should… maybe I can get everything done then try to reconcile the restaurant’s checking account… nothing but fun!!!

Selling Season

i've been very disappointed in my blogging efforts lately... but to be honest, there hasn't been much going on... pretty much the same routine as the last 4 weeks have been.... not doing too much... trying to be lazy and enjoy it instead of stressing myself about what i should be doing... we did get to visit with kb and her husband the saturday before labor day... R and I hadn't seen them since before the end of tax season... it was a nice surprise that they were in town that day and we got to hang out with them!!! it's always SO good to see them!!!
i've been looking online for a house in iowa park... i found two that i want to go look at so this weekend r and i are going to try (once again) to get the house cleaned up so we can put it on the market... last sunday we were supposed to do the same thing too but that didn't happen... since my surgery, there is only so much i can do... the rest falls on R's shoulders... as if he didn't have enough going on.... anyways, he seems hell-bent on getting out of our house and moving closer to the restaurant... which i don't blame him at all... the amount of money we'll save in gas for his truck will be half of our house payment... so hopefully this weekend we'll really get it in gear and get our house ready to put on the market... i've got my fingers crossed!!! hopefully selling season will be here soon!!!

Catching Up

so what else has been going on in courtney's world besides all the back stuff... i know that's all i've blogged about in forever...

the kitties: are doing most excellent... they are still adorable and have been doing a good job keeping me company (read: sometimes driving me crazy) while i've been home...

R: i must give him props for his helping me out (read: doing everything around the house) and putting up with me... he hasn't even been griping about it... and that's very unusual... i keep apologizing to him for him having to do everything and he keeps saying, it's ok, i don't mind, don't worry about it, it's no big deal... he has been wonderful the past few weeks....

work: when i left on the 3rd it was all good... they've called to ask a few questions and to check in on me... it's really nice to have a boss that cares about you as a person and doesn't just think you're a number...

the Cedar Tree: is going good... we changed up the menus... we had just been using a copy of the menu that was there when we bought it.. we changed it up a little bit but basically it was the one that "came with" the restaurant... i know i mentioned it but our one year anniversary was july 31st! YEAH for us!!

me (besides the back): about 2 weeks before the surgery i started getting really nervous... and when i get really nervous i get really bitchy and irritable and my tummy and i were not getting along... i would put something, anything in it and it would just spit it right back out... i ended up calling my head shrinker and asking him if there was anything we could do so i could survive the next week (and actually be a semi-productive person)... anyways, now that the surgery is over with, i feel so much better! i'm so happy!! i've been irritable because of the pain meds but i really think that's the only reason... i am still so amazed that i am pain-free!!! (when i say pain-free i mean not 100% but damn near close- oh what, 99% pain free- coincidence? that carl's number! :) ) i can say one thing though, my appetite is back and i think i'm trying to make up for all the lost food... i have been eating like it's no one's business!! dang!! i've been out of the house once since i came home on the 8th and that was last thursday to go to walmart with momma... my first post-op is tomorrow... we'll see what he has to say...

anything else: i've just been reading... learning, growing... looking for the calm in the midst of it all... which brings me to this... so, i've been learning/growing for several years now... i am working on blogging about, a summation maybe?

i suppose that's about it... the back has been the "big" thing going on... now that all of that is on the upswing it seems that right now life is pretty drama free... and i will take that!!

Much Better

i am feeling so much better... i woke up this morning and felt pretty good... that's a first for me in a while... i'm really excited about feeling better though, i am going to try to shower today by myself (R will be here if i do need some help).... and then i'm going to go "walking and reading"... i've blogged a little over the past week but have not had the energy or the comfort to read any blogs... now that things are on the upswing though it's time to play a little catch-up... not just with the blogs either, restaurant stuff, pay bills, fun stuff like that.... but you know what, it'll get done though and right now i don't think i'll even mind doing it!!

p.s.. as far as i can tell, the only pain in my back is still around the L5/S1 area where the fusion was done... no pain like before though!!!

Once Again

lately i've been doing a lot of thinking about everything that's been going on, what i've been trying to "learn" over the past three years or so, and of course, am i making the right decisions? what i've been learning and working on embracing is that the universe will give you what you need when you need it... the universe will take care of you... i have been trying to figure out how to just "accept" and "know" this...

here is my horoscope for today:
When it comes to making decisions about your life circumstances you may feel less than confident, and this hesitation could affect the ways in which you approach things today. It might be that your indecision is due to a fear of making a mistake that could have an undesirable impact on your life. If you can remind yourself that first the universe will take care of you and that everything you do is a learning experience and can only be a resource for greater understanding of your life, you could find that whatever action you take will lead you further along your path. Being able to let go of the fear you may have and opening up to the knowledge you can gain could make you feel much more positive about the choices you face today. No matter what we do, we always have something to gain from our actions. It can be scary to make a firm choice about things, but if we put things into perspective, we will see that the choices that face us are usually not nearly as urgent as we might make them. Learning to let go of this sense of urgency and uncertainty today will help you recognize that since you can never be certain of an outcome, everything you do is an unknown and you can gain knowledge about yourself and the world as a whole from any choice you make.