Dr. Check-up

so yesterday was my 6 week post-op surgery appt... everything looks good... he told me to keep walking and to increase my walking... dang!! he said i could go back to work on monday (yuck!) but just be careful and not to overdo it... i talked to t last night and he is all about doing whatever i need to make my job more comfortable.... he is so sweet!! i know i keep saying this but it is so nice to have a boss who cares instead of just considering you a number to increase the bottom line... the dr. visit was short and sweet, like all of them... he said that i could start yoga again but i need to wear the back brace... i can go see mary (massage therapist) again just tell her to be careful of the L5 area... and i have to wear my back brace for 3 to 6 months (depending on how fast my vertebrae fuse)... i'm way ok with that though... wearing the brace is so worth no pain!!! so, i'm all cleared for work....

Stopping By

You would think with me being off work I would have blogged more than I have… every little thing makes me tired but I’m working on getting my energy and strength back… and each day I have felt better and better!!! Momma and I went to walmart the other day, my first outing since she brought me home, and I had to wear my back brace but you know what, I don’t care… I was walking around PAIN FREE!!!!
Tuesday is my first post-op appointment… I’m not sure what he’ll tell me but I’m excited… looking back, I understand why I was scared, but I’m so glad I went ahead with it… it is so amazing to be pain free!! Absolutely amazing!! Anyways, I’ll be back soon… I just wanted to let you know that I’m absolutely wonderful!!! Better than I have been in years!!!

Much Better

i am feeling so much better... i woke up this morning and felt pretty good... that's a first for me in a while... i'm really excited about feeling better though, i am going to try to shower today by myself (R will be here if i do need some help).... and then i'm going to go "walking and reading"... i've blogged a little over the past week but have not had the energy or the comfort to read any blogs... now that things are on the upswing though it's time to play a little catch-up... not just with the blogs either, restaurant stuff, pay bills, fun stuff like that.... but you know what, it'll get done though and right now i don't think i'll even mind doing it!!

p.s.. as far as i can tell, the only pain in my back is still around the L5/S1 area where the fusion was done... no pain like before though!!!

Back Home

yeah, i'm back home!!! momma and i got home about 7 last night... the stay wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be... i was doing some physical therapy and walking while i was there... re-learning things that i've done my whole life... everything was going really good until tuesday night... about 3 i started throwing up... (and i had no idea that things such as couching, laughing, trying to the go the bathroom, and throwing up would be so difficult and painful... actually it never occurred to me how much i use my abs)... they told me on wednesday that i could go home if i could stop getting sick... i think most of it was my nerves, leaving the hospital, and the 2.5 hour drive home... we made it though!! i actually slept most of the way home (and momma was laughing at me because i talk in my sleep)... i could not imagine not having momma there... man, she was (and still is) a lifesaver!! everytime i got up she was there, in the the middle of the night, while i was throwing up, helping me get to the bathroom..poor momma, she had to help me shower too... she came over this morning and brought some groceries and then helped me shower, and then changed the dressing over my incision... she is so wonderful!!
the incision is looking good!! and this is the best part, i still have no pain in my back and legs!!! the L5/S1 area is super sensitive but that's to be expected and the belly pain from the incision will heal too!! i'm off to do some walking (and then rest some) but no worries, it's all going even better than i was hoping it would!!

In the Hospital

i'm in the hospital but the nurses are calling me the miracle child... i've been up & down out of bed today... the first time i had to get up was bad... i thought what did i get myself into ??? it is getting much easier to get in & out of bed though... when the physical therapist came in we walked down the hall and i was in shock, i had no back pain or leg pain, only pain from the incision... i've been doing my breathing treatments & p.t. exercises... to be honest, i feel much better than i thought i would.... i just wanted to check in because i am so excited!!

Getting Ready

my to-do list is complete, with the exception of packing, and i suppose you could say i'm getting ready to go... i am nervous as hell... no lie, scared out of my mind... but i know it will all be ok after monday morning... right now that seems like so long away... yesterday jw and i went to get a pedicure and manicure- no polish on the fingers, just buffed... km and her sister took me out to eat to help me get my mind off of everything... i think we're leaving about 5:30 (after the race is over!)... i'm up at 5 in the morning to get ready so we can be at the hospital at 6.... surgery is at 7... i'm not sure when i'll be able to get on here again, hopefully soon! the hospital has wireless thruout it and i think momma is taking their laptop... here is the link to the hospital if you're interested... the amentities sound good!!
http://www.ppcds.com/

Hhhhmmm.....

Drats!!! I had a really good blog going until I hit some random combo of keys and it deleted it all!!! And oh-so-smart me hasn’t figured out how to “recover” a lost blog, if that’s even possible… so now I’m starting over…
I seems like it’s been forever since I’ve blogged about anything other than my back… my back has pretty much been consuming the majority of my thoughts… I just keep thinking, am I really doing the right thing? It’s hard for me to not question myself when so many people say things along the lines of, you’re having BACK surgery??? I don’t think I could ever do that… I have no response for that… I’m just thinking, you know, I don’t think I would ever say something like that to someone who is having the procedure done, or is at least seriously considering it… (right now that would be like me saying, you want to have KIDS??? to someone who’s already pregnant… right now my motto is: cats not kids)… I’m already scared to death and nervous as hell about it… Mom and I go down to Plano again on Monday for our “teach and learn” on the surgery, to get fitted for my back brace, and then to have all my pre-op tests done… I’m going to have the surgery done though… considering my only other choice is to live with it… having the surgery is the best choice I have…
On other lines though… I only have 4 days of work left… I’ve been training J since he’s going to be me while I’m out… I’ve been working on a “list” of everything I do and it seems like I’ll think of one more thing to add which then just leads to four more things… I just hope I’m doing a good job training him… I’m worried about that but it’s not like he can’t just call me… I just don’t want T thinking I did a horrible job training him…

A Positive Note: Tuesday, July 31st is our 1 Year Anniversary (of being open) at the Cedar Tree!!!! I think something like 90% of most businesses don’t survive the first year, YEAH!!! We made it!!! Granted, we still have a long way to go but that’s ok!! We are changing prices today though… our prices now are way old… we’re not going up on everything though… one of our competitors had a price increase this last week but it was a major increase and we were slammed this week… it was insane!! But like I said, we’re not raising prices much…

I suppose I should go shower now so that I can start laundry as well as my ten mile long list of things to-do this weekend… in addition to the normal stuff, I have the menu changes to do as well as two tax reports to get together and get ready to mail Tuesday… if I was working Monday I’d just do them then but I’m not and I’m not sure what Monday’s going to bring so I figure doing them this weekend is probably the safest bet… so I’m off to get this party started…

Stuck

so today i was lucky enough to get to make another trip to plano (please note the heavy sarcasm!)... ok, so r takes me to my appt today (and he was surprisingly supportive!)... i wasn't sure how it was going to go only because it was going to be his "first day away from the restaurant"... don't get me wrong, i was nervous too but i knew they could handle it... (by the way, everything went fine)... he "warned" me last night he might be a little high strung because he'd probably be thinking about the restaurant and what's going on since he's not there... so that was another thing i was nervous about... (if he was worried he didn't show it) we had a good time despite the fact that my back hurt so bad and we were going to a dr. appt... it hurts to laugh and he had me rolling... omg... so not only was the car ride rough on the back so was the laughter... but the laughter was such a good thing, i haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!
anyways, when i talked to the back institute yesterday the nurse said that dr. h would probably want to look at my back since it was still hurting extremely bad from the discogram... (i have been in tears every day since last tuesday because of my back, i can't even tell you... i'm trying not to think about it honestly)... i also thought i made an appt to "learn" about the surgery... (that's what they say, they "teach" you...) so, that's what i thought r and i were going to do... um, no, apparently i was wrong... (i should have known when the receptionist didn't really know what was going on)... BUT, we did find out that it is my last disc that is "broken"... i asked him what was wrong with it, like herniated or bulging, and all he said was that it is a bad disc that is causing me pain... um, ok... but, he did write this, yes it is long but it is very interesting... (lately backs and such have been interesting but i need to know and learn what is going on with me)
Our History


so, i have chosen to have a spinal fusion done by Stephen H. Hochschuler, M.D. .. right now thinking about it makes me want to throw up... oh wow, what fun it sounds like... here's excellent information if you're interested... btw, the back institute uses and supports this website it gives me a pretty good idea of what to expect... http://www.spine-health.com/topics/surg/mlsf/mlsf01.html i am having the anterior lumbar fusion which means that he is going in thru my belly!!! why you ask?!?! ah, so they can just "move your abs and organs out of the way" and it "reduces healing time and blood loss?" ok..
plus, i really don't want to have to see the incision(s) and stitches or whatever holds me together... (my tummy is just rolling)... screws, rods, and bone grafts are all part of it as well... (excuse me while i get sick)... i'm really confident in dr. h's abilities and his competency though... it's not "his" part that worries me... it's "my" part... but this is my only option besides just living with it... whadda ya do? i just need to "grow a spine" and do it... hehehe... so as of now, the schedule is:
monday, july 30th- 11:00- teaching time (i think it's a 60 minute video and then you ask questions); 1:00- back brace fitting (omg!!! i have to wear a back brace!!! i think i should pull out some headgear and oooohhhh LA Gear... H-O-T!! ok, i know, it's not forever but i still feel nerdy, once again, i should have known!); 2:00- pre-op blood work across the street
monday, august 6th- surgery... i have no idea what time but i imagine it will be across the street where the bloodwork is at... (and it seems they have a ton of presbyterian hospitals in the metroplex... is it like that in all big cities??)

i asked about how long i'd be off work and was told today 4 to 6 weeks... i am not looking forward to telling t that... but i know we can get it all worked out... j and rrll can do my stuff while i'm gone...
i will know more in a few days, they are mailing me some info and then on the 30th when i go down there i'll know "everything".... i'm not "locked in" but i am scared as hell... you always hear horror stories about back surgeries... but after reading everything on the back institutes website about a million times i'm becoming more ok with everything...

Another Trip to Plano

so i had to go back down to plano today to have another test done on my back... i had a discogram done... the only good thing about this test is that you will know immediately if your back pain is being caused by a disc... mine is... long procedure short: the dr. sticks three needles into three discs in your back (specified by your dr.) and then injects dye into each of them one at a time, looking for 3 specific things... if the disc is "good" you won't feel anything... if the disc is "bad" you will feel pain... my first two discs are good... the third disc was bad... but, before you go in to have the procedure done the assistant tells you, this test is meant to cause pain, that is it, that is the only reason for the test... we are purposely irritating the disc and you will hurt/be really sore for a few days... nice, because that's something you always want to hear right before you're about to have the test done... i have never ever ever experienced pain like that and i hope with everything inside me that i never have to again!! like i said though, at least we learned (and confirmed) where the pain is coming from...
i did get to see my back dr. about the results of my discogram today though... that was a good thing, it saved us another trip to the back institute... and to the best of my memory, this is all that dr. h said after he asked me where/if the discogram hurt me... basically you have two options... option 1: do nothing and learn to deal with the pain or option 2: surgery...
under option 2: surgery there are two more options... sub-option 1: a spinal fusion (http://www.texasback.com/spin_fus.htm) or sub-option 2: an artificial disc replacement...
then he said, we'll get you more information on these options and then you can make a decision... apparently when he said we'll get you more information he didn't mean today... that was it... that was all he said, besides recommending the fusion over the artificial disc... then momma and i discovered that ah ha, we'll have to make another appt to come back so that we can watch an hour long video and then what?? 5 hours of driving... ok, i am starting to veer off into the way negative... (deep breaths, deep breaths)
so today i found out that it is a disc causing my pain and now i know what my options are... this is where i'm at and this is all i know... i'm going to do some searching online to see what i can find... after i get my ice pack though...
(yeah, it sucks but everything happens for a reason right?!?! we can always take something positive from every situation yes?!?! i'm trying though, i really am!!!)

Can I Catch a Break Please?

Do you ever have a weekend when absolutely nothing seems to go right and then it carries over into Monday… that was the kind of weekend I had and so far Monday morning has been the pits… I was in tears all weekend long because my back hurt so bad since I quit wearing the patch… last night I couldn’t take the pain anymore so I put another one on… plus, I was thinking about the 5 hour car ride I’m going to make down to Plano and back to see the neurologist… they called Friday to see if I could come in Monday… I’m looking forward to going hopefully so they can find out what’s wrong with me and what’s causing all the pain in my back and legs… at the same time, I’m dreading the car ride… my back hurt really bad Wednesday after km and I went down to the Texas Back Institute… and the dr. told me that when I saw the neurologist I was going to have “a battery of tests done”…. Oh yeah, to make things even better, I opened some mail this morning from Allstate and they denied every single one of my claims that I submitted for my car wreck… ok, I have paid Allstate on time, every single month, for 6 years now… plus, when I called my dr.’s office to get them to fill out some paperwork I was informed that “we don’t handle accident claims so he isn’t going to fill that out for you”… um, ok, thanks… mind you, this is the dr. who was working on the herniated disc in my back for almost 4 years now and the dr. down at the back institute thinks this isn’t even what’s causing my pain… so now I just called the dr.’s office to see if I could get a copy of my medical records to send to Allstate and the turn around is only 15 days but you have to mail your request in…. even though I’m only working 1.5 hours today it is 1.5 hours too much… I walked in to a disaster and when I leave it’s going to be a disaster… things between R and I have been really tense and not so good lately but that’s a whole blog for another time… I am really trying hard not to freak out… I am just so tired of everything…

Texas Back Institute

today was my visit with my new back dr.... he is co-founder of the Texas Back Institute and is a spine surgeon... km drove me down to plano for my appt (we had fun.. it was a good road trip... the first one we've had in many years!!)... i was so nervous and knew without a doubt that he was going to tell me that i had to have surgery and that was pretty much my only option... the dr. that we met with was really nice... he did several tests, different things, having me walk on my toes then heels, pushing and resisting his arms with my hands, arms, legs, feet, testing my balance, testing my reflexes... he said i had brisk reflexes... i have no idea what this means only that "at your age, you shouldn't have brisk reflexes"... i'm going to try to do some research on this... he was also amazed, but not in a good way, of the medicine i was on... "fentanyl?? why?!?" fentanyl is basically a morphine patch... 5mcg's of morphine released into your body thru your skin for 3 days... i asked his opinion and he said, i would quit using the patches... i've only been on the patches for 2 months, maybe 3, so hopefully the comedown won't be too bad... hopefully... (i already feel like i don't want to do anything and that is certainly not going to help matters!!) anyways, back to the visit... we went and looked at my mri and x-rays... (he was showing us where and what everything was on the films and it was so neat!!!) he said based on the size of the herniated disc (the part that's bulging out) he doesn't really think that's what is causing my pain... he also said that my balance wasn't good... so, he wants me to go see a neurologist and have some tests done... to make sure that there's nothing really bad wrong... then i go back and see him and find out what the problem is and (hopefully) find out what our plan of action is... after he mentioned that he didn't think my lower back was causing the pain i told him about the headaches i used to have... i still do have them but not near as often (or because my back pain is so bad i'm not noticing the headaches)... my dr. thought they were sinus headaches for almost a year... obviously not... i'm having mixed emotions about this though... i just need to keep remembering, everything happens for a reason... i'm so glad that i finally have a competent dr. who knows what is going on but then i'm like, this has been going on for almost 4 years, i've wasted 4 years and who knows how much money, just thrown down the drain... so, that's pretty much the lowdown of my dr.'s appointment... good and maybe not really what i was wanting to hear but sometimes that just the way the ball bounces huh? it'll be ok though, i'm already becoming "more positive" with everything...