Monday, November 20, 2006

The Weekend

it seems that some people have the innate ability to hurt you... to say mean hurtful things and most of the time not give it a second thought... here is an email between my mother-in-law and myself regarding the flag for the restaurant...

me: hey everyone... this is a pic of the finished project of the flag up at the cedar tree!! i am so excited that it fit seeing as how i did the measuring and on occasion my measuring skills aren't so good!!
mother-in-law's reply: My step-father-in-law said to tell you it is "Awesome", nice job. Texas flag, who could argue with that?

That window was a eyesore, now it has appeal.


i'm not sure if i was just taking her email the wrong way or what but it really hurt my feelings... we're doing the best we can with the restaurant and i'm sorry if we didn't have the funds to fix it all up right away... an "eyesore"... that made me feel like our restaurant is a dive... it's not a 5 star restaurant, it's just your basic small town cafe but i'm really proud of it and what we've done with it so far!! we're working really hard to fix it up and take care of all the problems but it just takes time (and money)...

i sure hope that last night and this morning so-far are not signs of how my "short" week is going to go... i've already been griped out by my boss (for rrll's mistakes) twice this morning... last night i told r that momma and daddy had loaned us some money to help us out... catch 22- i knew i had to tell him but at the same time i didn't want too because i knew how he was going to react... he was so mean... some of the things that came out of his mouth really surprised me... and most of them were directed towards me... it really really hurt my feelings... i didn't say anything though... he would barely talk to me... then he asked if we still have the money that his mom had given us to put the coke machine in... i didn't reply and he asked again... i told him no, i had to use it to pay bills (for the restaurant) and that really set him off... more ugliness and nastiness from him... he kept saying, if i had some numbers to look at i'd know where the problem areas were and what i needed to fix... (basically i felt like he was blaming it on me- that i wasn't doing my job)... i asked him before he quit his job if he would get me a copy of all the paperwork that they used- what numbers they gave him, basically how they did things so that i could use the same format... trying to make it easier on him... he never brought me the papers and kept saying, we're not going to be able to use everything they use... i kept saying that i was just going to take what i could use and from there work something us for us... i don't really understand what he wants from me... i know i can figure whatever numbers he wants but first i have to understand what numbers he needs to see... i told him that i would come up with the money that i spent from his mom for the coke machine (i feel like this is all my fault even though it's not really)... i have no idea how i'm going to do this, i guess i'll just start selling everything on ebay... he was still mad at me this morning when he left for work... i guess tonight i'm going to say something to him about me maybe waiting tables out there a couple of days a week... i'm already in the doghouse, i don't think he could probably get much more mad at me... i didn't tell him that we're already back in the hole where we were before momma and daddy loaned us that money... i had even allowed enough money to pay some bills too but that didn't work out...
this weekend was such a good weekend too!! our most excellent friends boo & kb came into town.... it's so good to get to see them and hang out with them...
i sure feel like i can't do anything right... at least not right now... i know, positive thoughts- it's just really hard when the whole world is mad at you, at least that's how i'm taking it... it's really hard to be optimistic when your husband is so pessimistic... i just want to run away or hide under my bed... at least i had 4 days of happiness this past week...
life goes on though...

2 comments:

kilax said...

What an awful day you have had. Even though you had to borrow the money from your rents, at least you know they are there for you. Sometimes life is tough and that is the only thing we can do!

About the flag - as a "designer" I have noticed that people never tell you what they really think about something until you make it better. For example, one of my friends recently looked at my blog for the first time since I last re-designed it and said, 'Wow, I really like it! It is so much better now!"

Instead of being pissed at her for saying it was crappy before AND for not ever reading it, I just accepted the compliment. We can't please everyone, right?

Good luck with everything Courtney. :) I know you have the motivation to make things work out, even if it means picking up extra shifts. You should be proud of yourself for being such a hard worker!

courtneym said...

kilax- thank you so much for your comment!! it made me feel so much better!! i agree 100%- we can't please everyone can we? we can only do as much as we can do!!

your motivation, encouragement, and optimism really makes me feel better!! (and makes it easier for me to see past the negative!!)