Monday, November 27, 2006

Run and Hide

That is what I want to do… you would think since I just had 4 days off I would be in a really good mood… don’t get me wrong, I loved having the days off but I hate coming back to work… I wish I could just take off and not come back…
This past month (I know it’s been at least a month) or so has been hell on my emotions… my emotions have been like a rollercoaster… up and down… up and down… done circles and then the bottom drops out… at least that’s how I feel… bruised, battered, and beaten… I realize that I am having myself a pity party but dammit, for the most part I’ve been down for the past month and I’m so tired of it… I called my psychiatrist today to see if I could get in earlier than January 16th… I go next Monday… but if it’s anything like my visits usually are, I’ll be in great spirits by then… that’s what usually happens… I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens between now and then… of course though, calling to see if I can get in early I break down on the phone with the receptionist… that in and of itself makes me feel like a moron… there’s a whole lot more for me to blog, I just don’t have the energy (or motivation) to do it right now…

2 comments:

kilax said...

Is it this time of year that is wrecking havoc on your emotions, or is it more than that? What can you remember about the last time you felt good? What were you doing, who were you with, what time was it, etc.?

It sounds like you have so much on your shoulders; no wonder you are feeling so up and down! I hope that you can find a relaxation technique or a method to use when you find yourself getting bummed. It may take a while to work it out, but the first step is recognizing you feel this way and wanting to do something about it.

Rather than feeling embarassed about calling your psychiatrist early, you should be proud for taking care of yourself!

*hugs*

kel_crawford said...

cheer up little one...this too shall pass...you just need some boo and kelly lovin. we love you.