Tuesday, May 16, 2006

-35 total

i went and weighed in last night! i lost 3lbs for a total of 35lbs lost!!! yeah!!! i am so excited!!! i feel so much better and my smaller clothes fit now!! getting another 5lb star really motivated me!! this week will be a small challenge but that's ok... as long as i don't gain i'm fine with it!! my birthday is coming up at the end of the month so that will be a small challenge too but, like i said, as long as i don't gain i'm cool with it!!!
on a different note, i think i may have some clue as to why myspace makes me feel funny.... i don't think i have a very good "outlook" of myself... i see myself as not a very good friend and sometimes not a very good person.... myspace brings back feelings i felt in high school and later.... when i was really depressed and down on myself.... my self-image has gotten better but it's still not as good as it could be.... but i'm working on that... change is and can be a good thing! i have never really considered myself a "social" person... i feel that i'm kinda shy until i get to know you... i guess i guard myself so that the other person won't think i'm a "loser".... this morning i read an article on perfection and trying to make your life perfect.... i think that's how i am... i try so hard to make everything perfect... all i should really be worried about it doing and being the best i can be... no one is perfect.... the work continues (and i suppose it always will!!)... i'm not griping or being hard on myself now.... i'm just "calling it like i see it"... i am going to work on my self-image... i have a lot to be proud of and should be!!! here's what i read on perfection:

Letting Go Of Perfection
It is good to remember that one of our goals in life is to not be perfect. We often lose track of this aspiration. When we make mistakes, we think that we are failing or not measuring up. But if life is about experimenting, experiencing, and learning, then to be imperfect is a prerequisite. Life becomes much more interesting once we let go of our quest for perfection and aspire for imperfection instead.This doesn't mean that we don't strive to be our best. We simply accept that there is no such thing as perfection-especially in life. All living things are in a ceaseless state of movement. Even as you read this, your hair is growing, your cells are dying and being reborn, and your blood is moving through your veins. Your life changes more than it stays the same. Perfection may happen in a moment, but it will not last because it is an impermanent state. Trying to hold on to perfection or forcing it to happen causes frustration and unhappiness. In spite of this, many of us are in the habit of trying to be perfect. One way to nudge ourselves out of this tendency is to look at our lives and notice that no one is judging us to see whether or not we are perfect. Sometimes, perfectionism is a holdover from our childhood-an ideal we inherited from a demanding parent. We are adults now, and we can choose to let go of the need to perform for someone else's approval. Similarly, we can choose to experience the universe as a loving place where we are free to be imperfect. Once we realize this, we can begin to take ourselves less seriously and have more fun. Imperfection is inherent to being human. By embracing your imperfections, you embrace yourself.

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