Oh Yeah!!

oh yeah, how could i forget this!!! man, where has my brain been at lately?!?! i think it's from not using it for so long... it feels like a long time anyways!!

Carl won last week's race and in doing so secured his spot in the Chase for the Cup!!! YEAH!!! GO CARL GO!!!

**NASCARL GIRL!!**

this is Carl's quote from victory lane... how can you not like a guy like this? he's so sincere, nice, and humble even though he's a "public figure"...
“Man, this is the biggest win of my career. I can’t thank Bob Osborne enough and all my guys. My pit crew was awesome and I want to thank my fans for sticking behind us. It means a lot. Office Depot for sure. Dwight Laxton, Howard Hall, Mike Mittler – all those who helped me coming up. To win here at Bristol, I think, is everybody’s dream. I’m gonna be in Columbia tomorrow for Sam Russell, my good buddy who is injured. We’re gonna have a bicycle ride. I don’t know if this is gonna sink in. This is the night race at Bristol – 500 laps and we won it.” YOU’RE LOCKED IN THE CHASE? “Unbelievable. I am living the dream thanks to Jack Roush, Roush Fenway, Office Depot. Anybody out there who has a dream just follow it. I don’t know what to think. It was emotional to win this race. Like I said, I’ve watched this a lot. I think every short track racer out there dreams about this. My little brother is racing tonight and I know he’s watching. Mom, dad, Kenny, I love you guys and to win this race is cool. We’re back.”

Stopping By

i just thought i'd stop by and say hi... check in... there hasn't been much of anything going on... i thought since i was off work i'd probably be a blogging fool... not so much... all i've been doing is walking and working a little... km brought over an accounting program and i'm going to start helping them keep books... i'm excited about that... plus, added bonus, the accounting program will make my life so much easier keeping everything for the restaurant... this will be the last week i actually have to "do" payroll the old way... which is awesome!! (read: i won't be stressed all weekend long until i have payroll done!).... YES!!
my first post-op appt went great... he told me everything was looking good... i go back on the 18th for my 2nd post-op appt... he told me to walk 3-5 miles a day... woah!! that's a lot of miles in one day!! needless to say, i've been working on getting to the 3 mile mark... i was using my gazelle (yes, tony little's gazelle)... today i started using my walk away the pounds dvd... this i like... i can handle this... in less than 20 minutes i can walk a mile in my house... 30 minutes you can walk 2 miles and in 45 minutes you can walk 3 miles... since it's considering "aerobic" walking i started with 1 mile.. i can always walk 1 mile more than once... so, my goal is to work up to 3 miles... i knew after the surgery walking would become an everyday part of my life... i'm just still trying to get used to that... ugh, exercise... i've been stretching too... it's amazing how much flexibility i've lost... before the surgery i could put my hands on the floor without bending my knees, pretty much fold in half... i've just come to the point where i can actually put lotion on my feet if i'm sitting down... oh well, all i've got is time... and that's what it's going to take... being pain free though is worth it!! i just need to keep remembering where i "came from"...
i've started being more conscious of what i'm eating (most of the time)... i've been thinking about joining weight watchers again... i lost 49.5 lbs from january to the end of june at the beginning of 2006... i think i've done a damn good job keeping it off too (especially since we bought a restaurant!)... and i wasn't really doing much exercise when i lost all that weight either... so i was thinking, if i started watching what i eat and keep walking maybe i will lose more weight!! i did like weight watchers though... at least for the accountability...
on the kitty front, mazzy has managed to clean herself up... she's just discolored now... poor dirty kitty... she keeps wanting to go back out in the garage though... um, no!!
the restaurant is rocking along nicely... R is going to have to fire some dead weight tomorrow so that should be interesting... we already know it's not going to go well... whatdaya do though?
i'm not going to complain that there hasn't been much going on though... i will take not much over stressed out anyday!!! i just need to keep that in mind too... things are good though...
today's positive thought is: HANG IN THERE..... YOU CAN DO IT.

Million Dollar Question

yesterday Mazzy managed to get into something out in the garage... R and I let them go out on the back porch (screened in) or out into the garage as a treat... as of yesterday, the garage is now off limits... as I was saying, Mazzy managed to get into something out there and is now running around looking all dirty... (she is a dirty kitty though)... it's like some sort of oil or grease something or other... and here's my confusion, Mazzy & Murphy have been going out in the garage forever!! Mazzy was going out there before we even had Murph.... and this has never been an issue before... so we tried making a kitty burrito and then pulling out the paw so i could wash it off but that didn't work.. the water hit her paw and she was out... i have been "slashed" across my belly (thankfully not by the incision area!)... she is a dirty kitty though!!! she is all dirty!! her fur is all sticky and matted... and I have no idea what to do!! so, this is the million dollar question... what do we do? do we try to give her a bath? and if so, how?!?! i would need a full body suit of armor, including some sort of goggles... (maybe I could just let her lick a xanax and then we could give her a bath... j/k!!)

Mazzy

i had completely forgotten until this morning... Mazzy loves to "ride" on R's turntables (record players)... R dj'd for a long time and he still has all his vinyl... i love vinyl, the cracks, hisses, & pops... it's not near as "clean" sounding as cd music but i still love me some vinyl!! anyways, years ago R was playing records and while I was on the computer in the back room... Mazzy jumped on the computer desk and then onto the table that R's turntables are on... then she proceeded to jump onto one of his turntables... R, being the character that he is, turns it on.. at first Mazzy jumped off but as you think about the relationship between curiosity and a cat, she jumped right back up for another look... so now, she likes to "ride the turntables"... she's too cute... Murphy isn't quite sure what to think of the turntables yet but if you look really close in the first pic on the left hand side you can see a tiny bit of his face and whiskers...

Catching Up

so what else has been going on in courtney's world besides all the back stuff... i know that's all i've blogged about in forever...

the kitties: are doing most excellent... they are still adorable and have been doing a good job keeping me company (read: sometimes driving me crazy) while i've been home...

R: i must give him props for his helping me out (read: doing everything around the house) and putting up with me... he hasn't even been griping about it... and that's very unusual... i keep apologizing to him for him having to do everything and he keeps saying, it's ok, i don't mind, don't worry about it, it's no big deal... he has been wonderful the past few weeks....

work: when i left on the 3rd it was all good... they've called to ask a few questions and to check in on me... it's really nice to have a boss that cares about you as a person and doesn't just think you're a number...

the Cedar Tree: is going good... we changed up the menus... we had just been using a copy of the menu that was there when we bought it.. we changed it up a little bit but basically it was the one that "came with" the restaurant... i know i mentioned it but our one year anniversary was july 31st! YEAH for us!!

me (besides the back): about 2 weeks before the surgery i started getting really nervous... and when i get really nervous i get really bitchy and irritable and my tummy and i were not getting along... i would put something, anything in it and it would just spit it right back out... i ended up calling my head shrinker and asking him if there was anything we could do so i could survive the next week (and actually be a semi-productive person)... anyways, now that the surgery is over with, i feel so much better! i'm so happy!! i've been irritable because of the pain meds but i really think that's the only reason... i am still so amazed that i am pain-free!!! (when i say pain-free i mean not 100% but damn near close- oh what, 99% pain free- coincidence? that carl's number! :) ) i can say one thing though, my appetite is back and i think i'm trying to make up for all the lost food... i have been eating like it's no one's business!! dang!! i've been out of the house once since i came home on the 8th and that was last thursday to go to walmart with momma... my first post-op is tomorrow... we'll see what he has to say...

anything else: i've just been reading... learning, growing... looking for the calm in the midst of it all... which brings me to this... so, i've been learning/growing for several years now... i am working on blogging about, a summation maybe?

i suppose that's about it... the back has been the "big" thing going on... now that all of that is on the upswing it seems that right now life is pretty drama free... and i will take that!!

Stopping By

You would think with me being off work I would have blogged more than I have… every little thing makes me tired but I’m working on getting my energy and strength back… and each day I have felt better and better!!! Momma and I went to walmart the other day, my first outing since she brought me home, and I had to wear my back brace but you know what, I don’t care… I was walking around PAIN FREE!!!!
Tuesday is my first post-op appointment… I’m not sure what he’ll tell me but I’m excited… looking back, I understand why I was scared, but I’m so glad I went ahead with it… it is so amazing to be pain free!! Absolutely amazing!! Anyways, I’ll be back soon… I just wanted to let you know that I’m absolutely wonderful!!! Better than I have been in years!!!

Much Better

i am feeling so much better... i woke up this morning and felt pretty good... that's a first for me in a while... i'm really excited about feeling better though, i am going to try to shower today by myself (R will be here if i do need some help).... and then i'm going to go "walking and reading"... i've blogged a little over the past week but have not had the energy or the comfort to read any blogs... now that things are on the upswing though it's time to play a little catch-up... not just with the blogs either, restaurant stuff, pay bills, fun stuff like that.... but you know what, it'll get done though and right now i don't think i'll even mind doing it!!

p.s.. as far as i can tell, the only pain in my back is still around the L5/S1 area where the fusion was done... no pain like before though!!!

Back Home

yeah, i'm back home!!! momma and i got home about 7 last night... the stay wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be... i was doing some physical therapy and walking while i was there... re-learning things that i've done my whole life... everything was going really good until tuesday night... about 3 i started throwing up... (and i had no idea that things such as couching, laughing, trying to the go the bathroom, and throwing up would be so difficult and painful... actually it never occurred to me how much i use my abs)... they told me on wednesday that i could go home if i could stop getting sick... i think most of it was my nerves, leaving the hospital, and the 2.5 hour drive home... we made it though!! i actually slept most of the way home (and momma was laughing at me because i talk in my sleep)... i could not imagine not having momma there... man, she was (and still is) a lifesaver!! everytime i got up she was there, in the the middle of the night, while i was throwing up, helping me get to the bathroom..poor momma, she had to help me shower too... she came over this morning and brought some groceries and then helped me shower, and then changed the dressing over my incision... she is so wonderful!!
the incision is looking good!! and this is the best part, i still have no pain in my back and legs!!! the L5/S1 area is super sensitive but that's to be expected and the belly pain from the incision will heal too!! i'm off to do some walking (and then rest some) but no worries, it's all going even better than i was hoping it would!!

In the Hospital

i'm in the hospital but the nurses are calling me the miracle child... i've been up & down out of bed today... the first time i had to get up was bad... i thought what did i get myself into ??? it is getting much easier to get in & out of bed though... when the physical therapist came in we walked down the hall and i was in shock, i had no back pain or leg pain, only pain from the incision... i've been doing my breathing treatments & p.t. exercises... to be honest, i feel much better than i thought i would.... i just wanted to check in because i am so excited!!

Getting Ready

my to-do list is complete, with the exception of packing, and i suppose you could say i'm getting ready to go... i am nervous as hell... no lie, scared out of my mind... but i know it will all be ok after monday morning... right now that seems like so long away... yesterday jw and i went to get a pedicure and manicure- no polish on the fingers, just buffed... km and her sister took me out to eat to help me get my mind off of everything... i think we're leaving about 5:30 (after the race is over!)... i'm up at 5 in the morning to get ready so we can be at the hospital at 6.... surgery is at 7... i'm not sure when i'll be able to get on here again, hopefully soon! the hospital has wireless thruout it and i think momma is taking their laptop... here is the link to the hospital if you're interested... the amentities sound good!!
http://www.ppcds.com/

A Funny

Flour and Water
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue?
and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?
Where did the glue go ?
NEED AN ANSWER?
You know damn well where it went! That's what makes the cake stick to your BUTT!!

Once Again

lately i've been doing a lot of thinking about everything that's been going on, what i've been trying to "learn" over the past three years or so, and of course, am i making the right decisions? what i've been learning and working on embracing is that the universe will give you what you need when you need it... the universe will take care of you... i have been trying to figure out how to just "accept" and "know" this...

here is my horoscope for today:
When it comes to making decisions about your life circumstances you may feel less than confident, and this hesitation could affect the ways in which you approach things today. It might be that your indecision is due to a fear of making a mistake that could have an undesirable impact on your life. If you can remind yourself that first the universe will take care of you and that everything you do is a learning experience and can only be a resource for greater understanding of your life, you could find that whatever action you take will lead you further along your path. Being able to let go of the fear you may have and opening up to the knowledge you can gain could make you feel much more positive about the choices you face today. No matter what we do, we always have something to gain from our actions. It can be scary to make a firm choice about things, but if we put things into perspective, we will see that the choices that face us are usually not nearly as urgent as we might make them. Learning to let go of this sense of urgency and uncertainty today will help you recognize that since you can never be certain of an outcome, everything you do is an unknown and you can gain knowledge about yourself and the world as a whole from any choice you make.

Hhhhmmm.....

Drats!!! I had a really good blog going until I hit some random combo of keys and it deleted it all!!! And oh-so-smart me hasn’t figured out how to “recover” a lost blog, if that’s even possible… so now I’m starting over…
I seems like it’s been forever since I’ve blogged about anything other than my back… my back has pretty much been consuming the majority of my thoughts… I just keep thinking, am I really doing the right thing? It’s hard for me to not question myself when so many people say things along the lines of, you’re having BACK surgery??? I don’t think I could ever do that… I have no response for that… I’m just thinking, you know, I don’t think I would ever say something like that to someone who is having the procedure done, or is at least seriously considering it… (right now that would be like me saying, you want to have KIDS??? to someone who’s already pregnant… right now my motto is: cats not kids)… I’m already scared to death and nervous as hell about it… Mom and I go down to Plano again on Monday for our “teach and learn” on the surgery, to get fitted for my back brace, and then to have all my pre-op tests done… I’m going to have the surgery done though… considering my only other choice is to live with it… having the surgery is the best choice I have…
On other lines though… I only have 4 days of work left… I’ve been training J since he’s going to be me while I’m out… I’ve been working on a “list” of everything I do and it seems like I’ll think of one more thing to add which then just leads to four more things… I just hope I’m doing a good job training him… I’m worried about that but it’s not like he can’t just call me… I just don’t want T thinking I did a horrible job training him…

A Positive Note: Tuesday, July 31st is our 1 Year Anniversary (of being open) at the Cedar Tree!!!! I think something like 90% of most businesses don’t survive the first year, YEAH!!! We made it!!! Granted, we still have a long way to go but that’s ok!! We are changing prices today though… our prices now are way old… we’re not going up on everything though… one of our competitors had a price increase this last week but it was a major increase and we were slammed this week… it was insane!! But like I said, we’re not raising prices much…

I suppose I should go shower now so that I can start laundry as well as my ten mile long list of things to-do this weekend… in addition to the normal stuff, I have the menu changes to do as well as two tax reports to get together and get ready to mail Tuesday… if I was working Monday I’d just do them then but I’m not and I’m not sure what Monday’s going to bring so I figure doing them this weekend is probably the safest bet… so I’m off to get this party started…

Stuck

so today i was lucky enough to get to make another trip to plano (please note the heavy sarcasm!)... ok, so r takes me to my appt today (and he was surprisingly supportive!)... i wasn't sure how it was going to go only because it was going to be his "first day away from the restaurant"... don't get me wrong, i was nervous too but i knew they could handle it... (by the way, everything went fine)... he "warned" me last night he might be a little high strung because he'd probably be thinking about the restaurant and what's going on since he's not there... so that was another thing i was nervous about... (if he was worried he didn't show it) we had a good time despite the fact that my back hurt so bad and we were going to a dr. appt... it hurts to laugh and he had me rolling... omg... so not only was the car ride rough on the back so was the laughter... but the laughter was such a good thing, i haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!
anyways, when i talked to the back institute yesterday the nurse said that dr. h would probably want to look at my back since it was still hurting extremely bad from the discogram... (i have been in tears every day since last tuesday because of my back, i can't even tell you... i'm trying not to think about it honestly)... i also thought i made an appt to "learn" about the surgery... (that's what they say, they "teach" you...) so, that's what i thought r and i were going to do... um, no, apparently i was wrong... (i should have known when the receptionist didn't really know what was going on)... BUT, we did find out that it is my last disc that is "broken"... i asked him what was wrong with it, like herniated or bulging, and all he said was that it is a bad disc that is causing me pain... um, ok... but, he did write this, yes it is long but it is very interesting... (lately backs and such have been interesting but i need to know and learn what is going on with me)
Our History


so, i have chosen to have a spinal fusion done by Stephen H. Hochschuler, M.D. .. right now thinking about it makes me want to throw up... oh wow, what fun it sounds like... here's excellent information if you're interested... btw, the back institute uses and supports this website it gives me a pretty good idea of what to expect... http://www.spine-health.com/topics/surg/mlsf/mlsf01.html i am having the anterior lumbar fusion which means that he is going in thru my belly!!! why you ask?!?! ah, so they can just "move your abs and organs out of the way" and it "reduces healing time and blood loss?" ok..
plus, i really don't want to have to see the incision(s) and stitches or whatever holds me together... (my tummy is just rolling)... screws, rods, and bone grafts are all part of it as well... (excuse me while i get sick)... i'm really confident in dr. h's abilities and his competency though... it's not "his" part that worries me... it's "my" part... but this is my only option besides just living with it... whadda ya do? i just need to "grow a spine" and do it... hehehe... so as of now, the schedule is:
monday, july 30th- 11:00- teaching time (i think it's a 60 minute video and then you ask questions); 1:00- back brace fitting (omg!!! i have to wear a back brace!!! i think i should pull out some headgear and oooohhhh LA Gear... H-O-T!! ok, i know, it's not forever but i still feel nerdy, once again, i should have known!); 2:00- pre-op blood work across the street
monday, august 6th- surgery... i have no idea what time but i imagine it will be across the street where the bloodwork is at... (and it seems they have a ton of presbyterian hospitals in the metroplex... is it like that in all big cities??)

i asked about how long i'd be off work and was told today 4 to 6 weeks... i am not looking forward to telling t that... but i know we can get it all worked out... j and rrll can do my stuff while i'm gone...
i will know more in a few days, they are mailing me some info and then on the 30th when i go down there i'll know "everything".... i'm not "locked in" but i am scared as hell... you always hear horror stories about back surgeries... but after reading everything on the back institutes website about a million times i'm becoming more ok with everything...

Flood Pics

i have been trying to get pics of WF flooded... i was reading the newspaper online and came across three different links to flood pics... check them out... this was my city at the end of june/beginning of july... it was crazy!!! (as much as i hate to admit it, i guess the city had good reason to cancel the firworks...)

aerial pics:
http://web.timesrecordnews.com/xml_slideshow/flood/aerial/damage.html

more pics:
http://web.timesrecordnews.com/xml_slideshow/flood/damage.html

and these are the pics that the newspaper took:
http://web.timesrecordnews.com/xml_slideshow/flood/Flood_Web_Slideshow/

Another Trip to Plano

so i had to go back down to plano today to have another test done on my back... i had a discogram done... the only good thing about this test is that you will know immediately if your back pain is being caused by a disc... mine is... long procedure short: the dr. sticks three needles into three discs in your back (specified by your dr.) and then injects dye into each of them one at a time, looking for 3 specific things... if the disc is "good" you won't feel anything... if the disc is "bad" you will feel pain... my first two discs are good... the third disc was bad... but, before you go in to have the procedure done the assistant tells you, this test is meant to cause pain, that is it, that is the only reason for the test... we are purposely irritating the disc and you will hurt/be really sore for a few days... nice, because that's something you always want to hear right before you're about to have the test done... i have never ever ever experienced pain like that and i hope with everything inside me that i never have to again!! like i said though, at least we learned (and confirmed) where the pain is coming from...
i did get to see my back dr. about the results of my discogram today though... that was a good thing, it saved us another trip to the back institute... and to the best of my memory, this is all that dr. h said after he asked me where/if the discogram hurt me... basically you have two options... option 1: do nothing and learn to deal with the pain or option 2: surgery...
under option 2: surgery there are two more options... sub-option 1: a spinal fusion (http://www.texasback.com/spin_fus.htm) or sub-option 2: an artificial disc replacement...
then he said, we'll get you more information on these options and then you can make a decision... apparently when he said we'll get you more information he didn't mean today... that was it... that was all he said, besides recommending the fusion over the artificial disc... then momma and i discovered that ah ha, we'll have to make another appt to come back so that we can watch an hour long video and then what?? 5 hours of driving... ok, i am starting to veer off into the way negative... (deep breaths, deep breaths)
so today i found out that it is a disc causing my pain and now i know what my options are... this is where i'm at and this is all i know... i'm going to do some searching online to see what i can find... after i get my ice pack though...
(yeah, it sucks but everything happens for a reason right?!?! we can always take something positive from every situation yes?!?! i'm trying though, i really am!!!)

Two More

i know, i know, the helmet is still there in the first pic!! i had no idea how many pics there were of him with his helmet on!! but you can still see how blue his eyes are!! :o)

I LOVE NASCARL!!

No one is perfect but 99 is close enough!!

i know, horribly horribly cheesy... could it get any worse? probably but we'll save that for another day!

More Carl Pics

Carl getting ready to race!!! how can you resist those baby blues? his eyes just sparkle!!! i just had to share!!

Daytona

sorry, this whole post is all nascar... just wanted to give you a heads up.... :o)

the nascar cup race was last night and i must say that it was an excellent race... very good to watch!! a photo finish... and i must say that carl's teammate (jamie) wouldn't have won the race if carl and his other teammate, greg biffle- who r roots for, hadn't pushed him... racing at daytona is fun to watch though... you have to bump draft and it is so exciting!! anyways, several of the guys in the race to the chase had a bad night...carl got 4th and moved up one spot in the chase... he's now in 6th!!! we're having such a good year!! anyways, last night was a good race! carl did excellent and the roush guys did a really good job working as a team!!

on a different note, sorta, roush racing has also teamed up with fenway (boston red sox)... i got to watch carl throw out the first pitch the other night... this is such a good pic of the roush guys.... this next week we'll be racing at chicagoland!! i can't wait!!!

I Like This

If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything, If you look at what you have in life, you have everything. -Unknown