Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Lashing Out

Ah, another email that I needed… the past month or so I’ve been withdrawing from everyone- friends, family, even r… I’ve been so mad, upset, and stressed that I want to make everyone feel bad like I do… so I’ve been being very mean to everyone… which is why I’ve been withdrawing from everyone… it’s not their fault and I have no reason to treat everyone the way that I have been…

Whatever you say, if you believe it, will come to pass in your life. Choose your words and beliefs carefully.

Intense emotions demand intense modes of expression. While there are many outlets for the feelings typically deemed positive, however, there are far fewer methods for constructively coping with anger, frustration, fear, sadness, or stress. Consequently, such feelings can cause us to believe that we are no longer in control of our emotional state. Backed into a mental corner, we may lash out at the first individual we encounter. Most of us will quickly discover that our misdirected outpouring of fury has not relieved the pressure of our pain. Powerful emotions are like the lava in a volcano poised to erupt—held in check with nothing but an eroding layer of calm. Within us lies the power to direct the flood of feeling that surges forth by channeling it into productive, artistic, or laborious pursuits. Retaking control of our emotions at their height can be difficult because our already negative feelings can convince us that others are deserving of our wrath. But if we consciously look for healthier ways of expressing what we feel, we can both safely dispel our pain and use the energy of that pain to add value to our lives. Anger and sadness, for example, can become the inspiration that induces us to dedicate ourselves to bringing about the change we wish to see in the world. If we act rather than react, we can become effective agents of positive transformation. When we channel our frustration or feelings of stress into outside-the-box thinking and proactive exploits, we are more apt to discover solutions to the issues that initially left us stymied. And if we view fear as a signal that we need to reexamine our circumstances rather than a cue to flee, we may gain new and unexpected insight into our lives. Channeling your emotions into constructive action can also prevent you from engaging in cyclical rumination in which you repeatedly relive the situation, event, or expectation that originally sparked your feelings in your mind’s eye. Since you are focused on a goal, even if your ambition is merely to better understand yourself, your pain is no longer being fed by your intellectual and emotional energy and quickly ebbs away. You not only avoid lashing out at others, but you also actively take part in your own healing process while honestly acknowledging and honoring your feelings.

When situations make us feel uneasy, we often blame ourselves or others. But if we learn to discern rather than judge, we begin to see our feelings for what they really are. You can't win with your inner judge: It even judges itself for judging. Sometimes that judgmental state feels like a sword driven right into the delicate fabric of your consciousness.
Any feelings of love, relaxation, or peace that you might have been nurturing are chopped to bits. Whether you're judging others or yourself, it's impossible to aim negative judgments in any direction without experiencing the sharp edges of judgment within yourself. Doubly so, in fact, since the faults we judge most harshly in other people usually turn out to be our own negativities projected outward.

4 comments:

Willow said...

you sound really upset hun. if you ever need a friend i would like to chat to you on messenger.dappledthing@hotmail.co.uk if not no worries have a hug anyways. i am not really blogging anywhere now. I had 6 spaces a week ago and now i barely have one left. I know what you mean when you feel like you want to withdraw from everyone. Anyway please don't run away from a small blue fairy x x x x x

Willow/Jan said...

hope you is a little better today sweetie loves and hugs for you from Willow and Jan.xxxxx

mannyed said...

The worst part about feeling how you do, is that no one really can understand exactly how it feels. Hope thing will change for the better for you soon!

elfwalker said...

Courtney

There are other people who feel like you do. I got up in the middle of the night and found you on the internet because I was feeling that way, too.

Remember to breathe, big deep breaths.
Remember to reach out, even a little.
Remember that this, too, shall pass.

Sometimes the smallest thing reminds us of past hurts and traumas. And those things trigger a barrage of pain that seems able to stop us in our tracks. That's how I've been feeling lately.

Remember that awareness is a good thing and to keep breathing through it. And remember to reach out, that there's all kinds of people and even parts of yourself ready to help you.

If we remember to keep doing our conscious breathing and reach out for information and even help, we will move from that place of feeling stopped in our tracks.

Get up, get a drink of cool water, be kind to yourself, and keep breathing in and out like the great yogis who discovered there's inner and outer help by connecting up with our breath and our minds to each other.

What a journey we are all on! We have to remember to do smart things and be w/ people who can help and even to be willing to receive that help!

Blessings to you, and thanks for being there on the internet telling your truths. It really helped me to read your literate and courageous truth telling! Thank you. It's usually very hard for me to receive help from others, and I thank you for being there to strike a chord that I could hear and receive.

elfwalker