Feeling Better

this morning i have a whole attitude... i am going to call the small business development center so that r and i can go talk to them about buying the cedar tree... the sbdc helps people start up businesses, buy existing business, offers free training for business owners.... stuff like that... so we're going to go talk to them and get them to help us put together a loan proposal so that we can get financing... i think i got so upset yesterday because talking to the banker was just the straw that broke the camel's back... i am still so excited about the cedar tree though!!! i know it's going to happen and it's going to be awesome!!! even if r only makes the same amount of money that he's making now, we're not losing anything... he has no benefits or anything like that thru his current job... i am so not worried about it though... we're going to give it our best shot (and prove all the haters wrong!!)
i didn't go weigh in last night.... after a long talk with k i realized that lately i feel that i have been doing ww for the wrong reasons... for everyone else but me.... i'm so proud of myself for losing44.5lbs!! i'm not quitting weight watchers but i'm just not taking it as seriously... i've proven to myself that i can lose weight and if i want to not take it as seriously i don't have too.... i'm not going to gain it back, i just want to keep losing if not just maintain... maintaining to me would be excellent!! there are 2 parts to losing weight... losing the weight and keeping it off... for some reason, right now i just want to try maintaining... see how that goes... but, like k and i talked about... i'm doing what i want to do and i'm doing it for me! i'm not going to let everyone else's "number dependency" affect me... if they want to decide their happines with numbers, so be it... happiness is not about the amount of money that you make, how much you do or don't weigh, the number of kids you do or don't have... it's about what you make out of life... it's if you decide that you want to be happy and i am so incredibly happy right now... i am so excited about the cedar tree opportunity and everything that the future holds... i am chosing to be happy!!