Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Hot Mess!!

the original title of my blog today was going to be perception & perspective but after talking with one of my friends, who you will hear more about real soon!, i decided to title this "in honor" of her!! ever since i received an email yesterday afternoon from kb i have been thinking about what i was going to blog the next time i got a chance... my thoughts have been all over the board since then too!! talk about an emotional rollercoaster! yesterday i was so excited when i read her email... it was like she knew exactly what i needed to hear! then, today rolled around... r's phone rang at 5am this morning.... i figured it wasn't good news, good news usually doesn't arrive at 5am.... at least not in my neck of the woods.... so i figured something was going on and soon found out that our waitress that had picked up a shift couldn't come in at 6am.... i was awake and there was no going back to sleep... none for r either... he got the waitress situation taken care of and then headed off to work... i got up and decided to exercise! i was going to walk and then remembered my dvd had been loaned out to be burned... so i decided to try out my mcdonald's yoga dvd instead.... it wasn't so great but that's ok.... i got 15 minutes worth of yoga and 45 minutes worth of quality time with the kitties in before i had to start getting ready for work.... as tired as i was/am it wasn't too bad getting up so early this morning... i enjoyed things in their "simplistic" state this morning.... the peace and quiet... calm kitties... there was no hecticness, except for my self-induced stress.... which really wasn't that bad... at least looking back it wasn't... that one saying, you have everything you need in this moment... somehow, kb knew that i was still stressing.... she calls me at work and to be honest, tells me once again, what i need to hear! only today though, it was like a lightbulb went on in my head... i realized that me stressing over what r is only "venting" to me about is not a good thing... and not how things should be... all i need to stress over and not really stress, just worry about, are my responsibilities... there is no reason for me to stress r and his "day at work".... we are open and are a fully functioning restaurant... he has the capabilities to make any decision that needs to be made! and i know he'll make the right one! or the correct one- the one that needs to be made... you know what i'm trying to say.. i have nothing but faith in him... i was feeling guilty because i was looking at it like, if he's stressing then i should be stressing because it's our restaurant.... that mentality was not doing anyone any good!! and if he's stressing and i'm not then i'm not carrying my weight.... so i had the whole wrong perspective on things.... but i must say, i'm so glad too!! it did take 2 days for kb to finally make me understand what she was saying but i did!! i feel so much better, like a weight has been lifted off me... to be honest, like a lot of weight has been lifted off me... girl, thank you!! i can only hope that one day i can help you out like you helped me out the past 2 days!! you made me see what i have been needing to see!! you are one hot mess!!! in all seriousness though, to kb, thank you... i am really looking forward to seeing you guys this weekend.... no "menu" stress!! (you saved me on that one too!!)
on a different note, saturday i am going to this consciousness class with a friend of mine... i am really looking forward to this class...here is the class description:
-Learn how consciousness works. No froufrou cryptic information to decipher. This is a straight-forward class that includes information you won’t find in any books.
-Learn why affirmations don’t work or take years to work.
-Learn how to work with your own consciousness to create the things in life you desire.
-Get an introduction to the Emotional Freedom Technique and how to use it to help change your consciousness which, in turn, changes your life.

i guess you could say i believe in God but that is really a gray area to me... not the God part but the whole judgemental father figure i guess is more the part that i'm not sure about.... i have been doing a ton of reading over the past year and a half or so... plus, learning to meditate... and have really discovered a whole new side of things.... i'm not sure if you could say i've always just trusted what i've been told or what... i never knew anything about this side of stuff before... i've learned so much "common sense" or "street knowledge" if you will since i've been with r... before him i guess it was all book/school knowledge... i think i missed out on quite a bit of stuff... anyways, i'm learning to be happy (as crazy as that sounds!) and i'm learning to just live life and take it day by day... i'm learning about me and how to keep me more "under control"... not fly off the handle at the drop of a hat... be more positive (i think i'm doing really good with that!!).... i'm really working on becoming a "better" person... not in sense of the word.... i'm going to head out to the restaurant now to see how things are going.... i will blog more asap!!! i promise!!!

No comments: