Going & Going & Going

my mind will not shut off!!! morning, noon, or night, it doesn't matter what time it is my mind is racing... it really drives me crazy, especially at night... when i'm trying to go to sleep and i can't... i just keep thinking... yuck!!! i actually think it might be that i'm not as stressed and my body is like, um, ok, what is the problem, something is missing, oh, lots of stress!! let's see if we can add that back in, we're not "normal" without it...
i called a realtor this morning... she's coming by at 3 today to "get a feel" for the house and then she said she would be able to give us an idea of what we should ask for the house... i'm so super nervous about this... R and I got the bushes trimmed and the yard edged but not mowed or blown off... so right now, in my opinion, it looks kinda, um, not as good as it could look... normally, i would have no problem mowing and blowing the driveway and sidewalk off but since the surgery i'm off yard duty for 2 months... it's so close to being 2 months but i so don't want to take a chance on messing anything up... the realtor and i talked for a little this morning and she understands, her mom is trying to figure out how to get her back fixed (same disc as mine)... another reason i'm so nervous, i'm so scared they'll be like, um, no one is going to buy this house... it's not bad though... we've lived here for 5 years and have had our fair share of problems but nothing out of the ordinary... ok, except for the house getting struck by lightening but i really don't know if that was (all) our fault... i mean, if i'm such a bad person that my house is going to get struck by lightening, i should have much bigger worries than our house not selling... other "bad" news, R and I have talked and have decided that we should quit feeding the BYK's (back yard kitties) since there are only about a million of them, that way when they do show the house there aren't a million kitties all over the back yard... dang, that is going to be super hard for me... they're so cute and we have a new batch of kitties... but we are going to be moving and we can't take them with us so this is probably the best plan... earlier, when I said we decided to quit feeding the BYK's it was really R that came up with that and I couldn't disagree with him... I wanted too but as the song says, sometimes the right thing and the hardest thing are the same...
tomorrow is my 6 week dr. appt after my surgery and i have a feeling that he will release me to go back to work... that makes me nervous too... I've gotten in the habit of not working and am really dreading going back... BAD.... I know I need too and I have too but man, I mean... i am not a big fan of change at all... ironically, change is the only constant...
anyways, enough griping... everything will work out for the best, just like it always does... i have a feeling that the more stressed i get the more i'll blog... (read: i'll be here a lot!)