A Funny

Flour and Water
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue?
and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?
Where did the glue go ?
NEED AN ANSWER?
You know damn well where it went! That's what makes the cake stick to your BUTT!!

Once Again

lately i've been doing a lot of thinking about everything that's been going on, what i've been trying to "learn" over the past three years or so, and of course, am i making the right decisions? what i've been learning and working on embracing is that the universe will give you what you need when you need it... the universe will take care of you... i have been trying to figure out how to just "accept" and "know" this...

here is my horoscope for today:
When it comes to making decisions about your life circumstances you may feel less than confident, and this hesitation could affect the ways in which you approach things today. It might be that your indecision is due to a fear of making a mistake that could have an undesirable impact on your life. If you can remind yourself that first the universe will take care of you and that everything you do is a learning experience and can only be a resource for greater understanding of your life, you could find that whatever action you take will lead you further along your path. Being able to let go of the fear you may have and opening up to the knowledge you can gain could make you feel much more positive about the choices you face today. No matter what we do, we always have something to gain from our actions. It can be scary to make a firm choice about things, but if we put things into perspective, we will see that the choices that face us are usually not nearly as urgent as we might make them. Learning to let go of this sense of urgency and uncertainty today will help you recognize that since you can never be certain of an outcome, everything you do is an unknown and you can gain knowledge about yourself and the world as a whole from any choice you make.

Hhhhmmm.....

Drats!!! I had a really good blog going until I hit some random combo of keys and it deleted it all!!! And oh-so-smart me hasn’t figured out how to “recover” a lost blog, if that’s even possible… so now I’m starting over…
I seems like it’s been forever since I’ve blogged about anything other than my back… my back has pretty much been consuming the majority of my thoughts… I just keep thinking, am I really doing the right thing? It’s hard for me to not question myself when so many people say things along the lines of, you’re having BACK surgery??? I don’t think I could ever do that… I have no response for that… I’m just thinking, you know, I don’t think I would ever say something like that to someone who is having the procedure done, or is at least seriously considering it… (right now that would be like me saying, you want to have KIDS??? to someone who’s already pregnant… right now my motto is: cats not kids)… I’m already scared to death and nervous as hell about it… Mom and I go down to Plano again on Monday for our “teach and learn” on the surgery, to get fitted for my back brace, and then to have all my pre-op tests done… I’m going to have the surgery done though… considering my only other choice is to live with it… having the surgery is the best choice I have…
On other lines though… I only have 4 days of work left… I’ve been training J since he’s going to be me while I’m out… I’ve been working on a “list” of everything I do and it seems like I’ll think of one more thing to add which then just leads to four more things… I just hope I’m doing a good job training him… I’m worried about that but it’s not like he can’t just call me… I just don’t want T thinking I did a horrible job training him…

A Positive Note: Tuesday, July 31st is our 1 Year Anniversary (of being open) at the Cedar Tree!!!! I think something like 90% of most businesses don’t survive the first year, YEAH!!! We made it!!! Granted, we still have a long way to go but that’s ok!! We are changing prices today though… our prices now are way old… we’re not going up on everything though… one of our competitors had a price increase this last week but it was a major increase and we were slammed this week… it was insane!! But like I said, we’re not raising prices much…

I suppose I should go shower now so that I can start laundry as well as my ten mile long list of things to-do this weekend… in addition to the normal stuff, I have the menu changes to do as well as two tax reports to get together and get ready to mail Tuesday… if I was working Monday I’d just do them then but I’m not and I’m not sure what Monday’s going to bring so I figure doing them this weekend is probably the safest bet… so I’m off to get this party started…

Stuck

so today i was lucky enough to get to make another trip to plano (please note the heavy sarcasm!)... ok, so r takes me to my appt today (and he was surprisingly supportive!)... i wasn't sure how it was going to go only because it was going to be his "first day away from the restaurant"... don't get me wrong, i was nervous too but i knew they could handle it... (by the way, everything went fine)... he "warned" me last night he might be a little high strung because he'd probably be thinking about the restaurant and what's going on since he's not there... so that was another thing i was nervous about... (if he was worried he didn't show it) we had a good time despite the fact that my back hurt so bad and we were going to a dr. appt... it hurts to laugh and he had me rolling... omg... so not only was the car ride rough on the back so was the laughter... but the laughter was such a good thing, i haven't laughed that hard in a long time!!
anyways, when i talked to the back institute yesterday the nurse said that dr. h would probably want to look at my back since it was still hurting extremely bad from the discogram... (i have been in tears every day since last tuesday because of my back, i can't even tell you... i'm trying not to think about it honestly)... i also thought i made an appt to "learn" about the surgery... (that's what they say, they "teach" you...) so, that's what i thought r and i were going to do... um, no, apparently i was wrong... (i should have known when the receptionist didn't really know what was going on)... BUT, we did find out that it is my last disc that is "broken"... i asked him what was wrong with it, like herniated or bulging, and all he said was that it is a bad disc that is causing me pain... um, ok... but, he did write this, yes it is long but it is very interesting... (lately backs and such have been interesting but i need to know and learn what is going on with me)
Our History


so, i have chosen to have a spinal fusion done by Stephen H. Hochschuler, M.D. .. right now thinking about it makes me want to throw up... oh wow, what fun it sounds like... here's excellent information if you're interested... btw, the back institute uses and supports this website it gives me a pretty good idea of what to expect... http://www.spine-health.com/topics/surg/mlsf/mlsf01.html i am having the anterior lumbar fusion which means that he is going in thru my belly!!! why you ask?!?! ah, so they can just "move your abs and organs out of the way" and it "reduces healing time and blood loss?" ok..
plus, i really don't want to have to see the incision(s) and stitches or whatever holds me together... (my tummy is just rolling)... screws, rods, and bone grafts are all part of it as well... (excuse me while i get sick)... i'm really confident in dr. h's abilities and his competency though... it's not "his" part that worries me... it's "my" part... but this is my only option besides just living with it... whadda ya do? i just need to "grow a spine" and do it... hehehe... so as of now, the schedule is:
monday, july 30th- 11:00- teaching time (i think it's a 60 minute video and then you ask questions); 1:00- back brace fitting (omg!!! i have to wear a back brace!!! i think i should pull out some headgear and oooohhhh LA Gear... H-O-T!! ok, i know, it's not forever but i still feel nerdy, once again, i should have known!); 2:00- pre-op blood work across the street
monday, august 6th- surgery... i have no idea what time but i imagine it will be across the street where the bloodwork is at... (and it seems they have a ton of presbyterian hospitals in the metroplex... is it like that in all big cities??)

i asked about how long i'd be off work and was told today 4 to 6 weeks... i am not looking forward to telling t that... but i know we can get it all worked out... j and rrll can do my stuff while i'm gone...
i will know more in a few days, they are mailing me some info and then on the 30th when i go down there i'll know "everything".... i'm not "locked in" but i am scared as hell... you always hear horror stories about back surgeries... but after reading everything on the back institutes website about a million times i'm becoming more ok with everything...

Flood Pics

i have been trying to get pics of WF flooded... i was reading the newspaper online and came across three different links to flood pics... check them out... this was my city at the end of june/beginning of july... it was crazy!!! (as much as i hate to admit it, i guess the city had good reason to cancel the firworks...)

aerial pics:
http://web.timesrecordnews.com/xml_slideshow/flood/aerial/damage.html

more pics:
http://web.timesrecordnews.com/xml_slideshow/flood/damage.html

and these are the pics that the newspaper took:
http://web.timesrecordnews.com/xml_slideshow/flood/Flood_Web_Slideshow/

Another Trip to Plano

so i had to go back down to plano today to have another test done on my back... i had a discogram done... the only good thing about this test is that you will know immediately if your back pain is being caused by a disc... mine is... long procedure short: the dr. sticks three needles into three discs in your back (specified by your dr.) and then injects dye into each of them one at a time, looking for 3 specific things... if the disc is "good" you won't feel anything... if the disc is "bad" you will feel pain... my first two discs are good... the third disc was bad... but, before you go in to have the procedure done the assistant tells you, this test is meant to cause pain, that is it, that is the only reason for the test... we are purposely irritating the disc and you will hurt/be really sore for a few days... nice, because that's something you always want to hear right before you're about to have the test done... i have never ever ever experienced pain like that and i hope with everything inside me that i never have to again!! like i said though, at least we learned (and confirmed) where the pain is coming from...
i did get to see my back dr. about the results of my discogram today though... that was a good thing, it saved us another trip to the back institute... and to the best of my memory, this is all that dr. h said after he asked me where/if the discogram hurt me... basically you have two options... option 1: do nothing and learn to deal with the pain or option 2: surgery...
under option 2: surgery there are two more options... sub-option 1: a spinal fusion (http://www.texasback.com/spin_fus.htm) or sub-option 2: an artificial disc replacement...
then he said, we'll get you more information on these options and then you can make a decision... apparently when he said we'll get you more information he didn't mean today... that was it... that was all he said, besides recommending the fusion over the artificial disc... then momma and i discovered that ah ha, we'll have to make another appt to come back so that we can watch an hour long video and then what?? 5 hours of driving... ok, i am starting to veer off into the way negative... (deep breaths, deep breaths)
so today i found out that it is a disc causing my pain and now i know what my options are... this is where i'm at and this is all i know... i'm going to do some searching online to see what i can find... after i get my ice pack though...
(yeah, it sucks but everything happens for a reason right?!?! we can always take something positive from every situation yes?!?! i'm trying though, i really am!!!)

Two More

i know, i know, the helmet is still there in the first pic!! i had no idea how many pics there were of him with his helmet on!! but you can still see how blue his eyes are!! :o)

I LOVE NASCARL!!

No one is perfect but 99 is close enough!!

i know, horribly horribly cheesy... could it get any worse? probably but we'll save that for another day!

More Carl Pics

Carl getting ready to race!!! how can you resist those baby blues? his eyes just sparkle!!! i just had to share!!

Daytona

sorry, this whole post is all nascar... just wanted to give you a heads up.... :o)

the nascar cup race was last night and i must say that it was an excellent race... very good to watch!! a photo finish... and i must say that carl's teammate (jamie) wouldn't have won the race if carl and his other teammate, greg biffle- who r roots for, hadn't pushed him... racing at daytona is fun to watch though... you have to bump draft and it is so exciting!! anyways, several of the guys in the race to the chase had a bad night...carl got 4th and moved up one spot in the chase... he's now in 6th!!! we're having such a good year!! anyways, last night was a good race! carl did excellent and the roush guys did a really good job working as a team!!

on a different note, sorta, roush racing has also teamed up with fenway (boston red sox)... i got to watch carl throw out the first pitch the other night... this is such a good pic of the roush guys.... this next week we'll be racing at chicagoland!! i can't wait!!!

I Like This

If you look at what you do not have in life, you don't have anything, If you look at what you have in life, you have everything. -Unknown

Deep In Thought

day 2 of vacation!! i get to go see my psychiatrist today... i've been "preparing" for that... it probably sounds stupid but it's like i try to prepare what i'm going to say to him... it never works that way, but i usually try... anyways, i was checking my mail and came across this:

There are thousands of happy uplifting moments in our lives that we miss because we are so busy with the business of being unhappy.


very nice and so true! i need to keep that in the front of my mind!!
anyways, i created a whole new to-do list last night so after my dr. appt i am going to start working on that!!

4th of July

sitting at the vet's office today, i had the chance to watch the news... first let me say, i love fireworks!!! well, the firework shows, i'm really not too big on anything but sparkers... last year the fireworks were kinda lame... the year before we didn't have any because "the city didn't budget for it"... which brings me to watching the news and what i found out... the city has cancelled the fireworks this year... because of the weather... they're saying everyone that does the fireworks is overworked because of all the weather lately... this is where i'm stuck... ok, yes, w.f. was declared a disaster area on friday because of all the flooding but not all of the city is flooded (as snobbish as that might sound! and i don't mean it that way either)... and yes, we have been getting rain every day, not all day everyday just every day, for the past 17 days or so... but at least for once we wouldn't have to worry about it being too dry!! and don't you think that the city could have found some (qualified) volunteers to set off the fireworks?!?! i mean surely they can't be that difficult!! i personally think this is just the city's way of getting out of the fireworks...

when i was little the fireworks were so good... i think our air force base used to do them... i could sit on the rooftop or in the swimming pool and watch them... we were so close to them too... it was like they were right above you... that is one of my most favorite peaceful happy memories... me, laying in the still pool, floating on my back, watching the fireworks explode right above me against the black sky... with no cares or worries in the world... just watching a magnificent show that seemed like it was being put on just for me... i know this is one reason why i love a good fireworks show!! it makes me think of being a kid again, it brings back that memory and that time of simple happiness... when everything was right with the world...

V-E-T

today was my first day of vacation as well as the kitties annual trip to the vet... i went ahead and took them today so that i could get it over with and stop dreading it... r brought the carriers in last night and we put towels in the bottom as well as some catnip hoping to make the carriers a positive experience... of course as soon as mazzy saw the carriers she disappeared... poor murph, he's only been to the vet one other time, last year, and i don't think he remembered what the carriers were for... murph was so good and so easy to get into the carrier... the only time he "complained" was when mazzy was getting loud in the car... mazzy on the other hand fought me tooth and nail... both hands were bleeding, one is a pretty good size claw, and i have several holes in my t-shirt... mazzy, the carrier, and i ended up locked in the bedroom with me dragging her out from under the bed... then the claws and fur started flying again... we did get to the vet though... me with a bloody paper towel wrapped around my left hand! poor murphy!! he weighs 16lbs exactly!!! mazzy weighs 10lbs 8oz... now we are on prescription weight loss food... and i have to watch how much i feed them... the vet said to just slowly cut it back... this is going to be such a challenge for me!! i am horrible at giving in to them!! now that our annual trip to the vet is over i can relax and have a good vacation!!!