i decided to take a break from cleaning and filing to see what was going on elsewhere... the race is going to start in about 30 minutes and it should be a good one... talladega is always a good race, there is always a big wreck there... yesterday i spent the day cleaning out the filing cabinet and working on my 2007 file box for the restaurant stuff... i haven't filed anything since the beginning of the year because i needed to clean the file cabinet out so bad, i don't think i could have crammed anything else into it... anyways, it's all clean now... ready for our 2007 stuff... and my file box for the restaurant is as done as it can be right now, i'm out of green hanging file folders... all i have left to do today is work on the inventory as well as the weekly income/expense report that gives us an idea of what our numbers were this past week... i must say, it has been an uber productive weekend... even through the back pain...
ok, let's talk about the back for a second... it's still hurting, BAD!!! the dr. called me back friday and said to keep wearing my mophine patch and taking my pain pills and if it's still bad monday then i'll need to come see them.... i haven't had a reaction like this to any of the shots that i've had... and i know i've had over 10.... so i'm not real sure what's going to happen from here... something has too though... the pain is debilitating, it has affected every aspect of my life, things i can/can't do... i hate it and i hate that the pain got so much worse after the injection... we'll see what the dr. says... maybe it is time to go see an orthopedic surgeon about a more permanent option... a specialist in a bigger city maybe?!?! i know that my back pain is not just affecting me... it's affecting r as well... as well as my attitude regarding everything... something's gotta give...
ok, enough of the back... i'm going to end this on a positive note... the weekend has been good... r has been dealing with me well... :) now that i've got the file cabinet cleaned out and the house is getting more organized i feel so much better... and, this was pretty exciting... do you ever tear something out of a magazine or print something off the computer, something helpful or informative, that you know you can "use" or "reference" later... i do this all the time... i was working on the file cabinet yesterday and was trying to remember the time length recommended to keep financials and stuff like that.... i thought, you know, i think i have something like this printed out AND i think i know where it's at... guess what, i knew exactly where it was AND it was exactly what i needed!! i was so impressed with myself!!! i think that is the one time i have had something like that happen!!! it was very exciting!!! anyways, the race is about to start and i'm going to work on inventory and then our state unemployment tax... it's the last tax report i have left to do that is due tomorrow... well, it's done, i just need to file it online... i'm off to watch the race and work a bit... and to have a nice relaxing sunday!!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Ouch!!
yesterday morning was my first injection.... this is my fourth set that i've had done... and i don't remember any of them hurting as bad as this one.... momma and i got to the hospital a few minutes before my appointment time at 6:30am.... they pulled me out of my room maybe 8:30ish to take me down to the or.... we were done about 10:30 and went to get some breakfast at ihop... i love me some pancakes!!! the injection site was tender when we left the hospital but that's to be expected.... momma dropped me off and i took a nap... when i woke up my back was killing me!! pretty much yesterday, if i wasn't sleeping i was crying because of the pain... it seems to be so much worse than it was before the injection... the information that the dr. gives you though says that the injection site can be sore for 24 to 48 hours after the injection.... so i guess that's to be expected but i have never had pain like this before... i just hope it gets better soon!!! anyways, t sent me home today around 11:30.... he called before he came in and asked how i was feeling.... i told him not good but it's been worse... he came on into work and then sent me home... he said it was silly of me to sit around (well, when i was sitting) in as much pain as i'm in and try to work.... since i had everything done that i had to get done today, i was out of there!! i've got the ice pack on my back and plan on keeping it there pretty much the rest of the day... it's raining here so i'm going to sleep and recover today.... i'll check back in later...
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Checking In
i think i had actually forgotten how much i loved to blog... until this morning... things are calming down... life is becoming a little less busy one day at a time... which is really good.. i have been really hectic lately... i feel bad for r... having to put up with me... whew... anyways, i guess i had a "realization" that i have to calm down... anyways, i don't want to bring up all the old negative stuff so... friday night i had an hour and a half massage! it was a treat to myself for working so hard... it was nice!!! r and i went out to km's last night and watched the race... carl did good, he came in 11th... not bad at all... he's 8th in the points right now which is excellent!! (the top 12 drivers in points are in the chase the last 10 races)... so today i'm going to clean the house... tomorrow morning i have to be at the hospital at 6:30 for my first cortizone epidural injection... i plan on coming home tomorrow morning after my shot, relax/nap, and then tomorrow afternoon work on my unemployment tax and quarterly payroll tax reports that are due the 30th... that way i won't have to worry about doing them at work... which will allow me to get caught up at work... i have a few "time sensitive" things i need to get done at work... work has been hectic lately... that's a whole other story for a different time though... i'm keeping it positive for now... so i think i'm off to clean the house now... do some laundry... then r and i are going to watch some movies that we got in from netflix... we haven't watched any movies on our new tv yet so that's what we're going to do this afternoon!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
The Blues
I’m being tested right now…. Not tested as in like a test to see if there is anything wrong with me but challenged in my life… the name of my challenger- PMS…. Sometimes it seems like PMS really doesn’t affect me that much and then some months, watch out, I’m like a walking talking emotional basketcase…. That would be the case today… and yesterday… with PMS though, there are some things that are just a given, like eating- wanting to eat all the time- craving sweets and salty foods- and pretty much just food in general…
This morning started off about like yesterday morning… (and like many mornings started when I was working at cingular, though not near as bad)….my thoughts weren’t very positive, I was already getting sad about leaving the kitties and r… even though r had already left for work… my thought pattern this morning and yesterday morning brought back memories of the way I felt everyday when I was working at cingular… most mornings I would end up bawling because I so didn’t want to go to work…. And I usually didn’t end up going to work… that’s not an option here and I’m kinda glad it isn’t…
Saturday after I got off work at the CPA office, I went home and R and I went to sam’s and bought a tv… 60”!!! that’s 5’ of tv!!! It is huge but I love it!!! that night, R and one of our friends came over to help us put it together and to hook all the stereo stuff back up… I can’t wait until Sunday, the Texas race is on!!! the first race on our big tv!! YEAH!!!
Easter Sunday R and I went over to momma and daddy’s and ate lunch… it was SO good… I haven’t had a home cooked meal in about forever and it was excellent… I just kept on eating and eating… it was so good to see momma, daddy, and grandma… I haven’t seen them in forever and I miss them… momma and I used to do something about once a week but since tax season has gotten a little hectic I don’t get to see her hardly at all… seeing them on Sunday really made me miss them though…. after we ate, r and I went home… I worked on and finished up my restaurant stuff and then we cleaned the house… I don’t know if the house was just that dirty or if we cleaned that good but the house looks awesome!!!
It was cold here this weekend (in the 40s) so the kitties were inside most of it… since I’ve been working late, Murph has been mr. snuggle-bug, I want/need lots of love and attention… I don’t think he likes both of us working late…. That’s ok though, I won’t be working late much longer… as of next Tuesday, things will calm down!!! But yeah, the kitties are so precious… Murphy is always wanting love and attention and Mazzy does too but she just doesn’t want to admit it….
And this probably sounds nutso- since R, I, and the kitties had such a good weekend and I got to spend so much time with them (and we had a really good weekend), I miss them… and the PMS just intensifies those feelings… I miss momma and daddy, doing stuff with them, getting to see them… I miss R with him having to work late every night… (hopefully we can move to Iowa Park soon and maybe that will change!!)
Overall, things are going good… 7 more days of tax season… then my weekends and week nights after work will go back to “normal”…. After tax season is over I’ll get to spend more time with the kitties and momma and daddy…. I had to take half a xanax this morning to keep from breaking down into tears every time someone said something to me… Anyways, I know my sadness is only temporary but I hope it passes soon…
Today’s positive thought for the day:
You are not limited by the thoughts of others. Your only limitation is the thoughts you choose to think. Whatever I believe with feeling becomes my reality.
This morning started off about like yesterday morning… (and like many mornings started when I was working at cingular, though not near as bad)….my thoughts weren’t very positive, I was already getting sad about leaving the kitties and r… even though r had already left for work… my thought pattern this morning and yesterday morning brought back memories of the way I felt everyday when I was working at cingular… most mornings I would end up bawling because I so didn’t want to go to work…. And I usually didn’t end up going to work… that’s not an option here and I’m kinda glad it isn’t…
Saturday after I got off work at the CPA office, I went home and R and I went to sam’s and bought a tv… 60”!!! that’s 5’ of tv!!! It is huge but I love it!!! that night, R and one of our friends came over to help us put it together and to hook all the stereo stuff back up… I can’t wait until Sunday, the Texas race is on!!! the first race on our big tv!! YEAH!!!
Easter Sunday R and I went over to momma and daddy’s and ate lunch… it was SO good… I haven’t had a home cooked meal in about forever and it was excellent… I just kept on eating and eating… it was so good to see momma, daddy, and grandma… I haven’t seen them in forever and I miss them… momma and I used to do something about once a week but since tax season has gotten a little hectic I don’t get to see her hardly at all… seeing them on Sunday really made me miss them though…. after we ate, r and I went home… I worked on and finished up my restaurant stuff and then we cleaned the house… I don’t know if the house was just that dirty or if we cleaned that good but the house looks awesome!!!
It was cold here this weekend (in the 40s) so the kitties were inside most of it… since I’ve been working late, Murph has been mr. snuggle-bug, I want/need lots of love and attention… I don’t think he likes both of us working late…. That’s ok though, I won’t be working late much longer… as of next Tuesday, things will calm down!!! But yeah, the kitties are so precious… Murphy is always wanting love and attention and Mazzy does too but she just doesn’t want to admit it….
And this probably sounds nutso- since R, I, and the kitties had such a good weekend and I got to spend so much time with them (and we had a really good weekend), I miss them… and the PMS just intensifies those feelings… I miss momma and daddy, doing stuff with them, getting to see them… I miss R with him having to work late every night… (hopefully we can move to Iowa Park soon and maybe that will change!!)
Overall, things are going good… 7 more days of tax season… then my weekends and week nights after work will go back to “normal”…. After tax season is over I’ll get to spend more time with the kitties and momma and daddy…. I had to take half a xanax this morning to keep from breaking down into tears every time someone said something to me… Anyways, I know my sadness is only temporary but I hope it passes soon…
Today’s positive thought for the day:
You are not limited by the thoughts of others. Your only limitation is the thoughts you choose to think. Whatever I believe with feeling becomes my reality.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Still Here
even though you can't tell by looking at my blog i'm still here... still around... just really busy and probably will be for the next 13 days.... this last week i worked monday thru thursday after work (with km, her mom, & her sister) putting together tax returns... i'm pretty much working every day up until april 17th except for sundays... so between that, my work, the restaurant, and then all the daily "stuff" that has to be done i've been a bit covered up... (on top of it being the end of the year for my work and the end of the quarter for the restaurant! basically, this means that i am covered up!!) i've meant to blog everyday (and it seems like something eventful has happened everyday) but i just haven't been able to find time... since i just finished the secret (at lunch) today, i guess i need to make that last statement about not being able to find time into something positive... like, i have all the time to accomplish everything that i need to do.... and believe it!! (that's the more difficult part!)....
for the most part, the secret was a good book... it did bring me back to the mindset i need to have... well, it made me aware that my mindset hasn't been what it needs to be.... so i am working on trying to stay positive... and for the most part, i think i've been doing a really good job... don't get me wrong, i've had my negative days but that's just something that's going to happen.... one day i'll share some of the book's end of chapter summaries... i would now but it's out in the car and i really don't want to go get it...
so, what has been going on.... last week....
tuesday- went to my psychiatrist that morning... he said good deal about my positive attitude... that changing your attitude will, can, and does help your outlook and how you feel... he gave me a kudos on the attitude thing, he said, especially because of my back.... later that morning i had an appt with my back dr... we talked about different treatments and he told me that if i wanted to see orthopedic surgeon he would be happy to refer me to one but he thinks that we should do a cortizone shot or two first to try to relieve some of the pain... he isn't for sure if the surgeon would treat me with everything being as irritated as it is... the surgeon would probably want to do something else first to take away some of the swelling and irritation... so we're going to be setting up a series of up to three shots to see if they will take away some (or most) of the pain... then he asked how my pain meds were working... i said, well, they really don't seem to be helping... his reply was that he didn't think so from the looks of my mri & xrays... so he put me on morphine patches (duragesic) until we can get the back calmed down a bit... i've been on the patches before and didn't have any problems with them... i haven't seemed to have any problems with these either... besides the irritability... but, i think that all opiods will cause irritability in me... each patch works for 72 hours.... then you take that one off and slap another one on.... :) the patches are working better than the pills though and right now i'll take whatever works!! he said that he thinks that the reason i keep having such bad headaches is because i have no curve in my neck.... i've done a little researching on this and everything that i've seen seems to link no neck curve to bad headaches... very interesting....
thursday- i went and signed the papers for my car... r went and signed them on friday... the '03 white passat i blogged about last time is mine!! his name is phoenix... and i love him!! he is so nice!!! don't worry, pics are coming soon!! they detailed my car for me yesterday so he looks really good today!!
friday- r's 33rd birthday... i went out to eat with jw and her family (r was working)... we went to the restaurant and then jw and i went and got a pedicure!! that was the first real pedicure i've ever had and i loved it!!! i really enjoy hanging out with jw and her family... they are so much fun!! and get this, i love her kids... they are so fun!!! (and that is scary to me!!) but yeah, they are so much fun...
saturday- i worked... r decided (at the last minute) to close on saturday, just because he didn't want to work, and that was a hot button for me... i'm over it now but it was just the whole situation that pissed me off, not just the fact that he wasn't working... i'm not going to get into it because i don't want to dredge it all up again... let bygones be bygones.... when i got off work kb and her husband were in town... it was really good to see them because r and i hadn't seen them or hung out with them in forever!!! it's always nice to see old friends!!! i just feel kinda bad because i wasn't in the best mood though... i was tired, in pain, and upset (at r).... kb did bring me a beautiful present though!!! her name is goldie and she is a "porch kitty"... a statue... i'll have to post a pic of her!!!
oh yeah, ewok is pregnant!!! yes she is, i know, i know!! kb pointed that out on saturday!!! ewok is so tiny too!!! bless her heart!!! i feel for her!!! poor little kitty momma!!!
sunday- worked on the weekly numbers and payroll.... watched the race... carl came in 14th (i think).... sunday was productive but not as productive as i hoped it would be... that's ok though... i have another one coming up!!!
i'm not sure if my work will be open on friday.... my boss, t, is a devout catholic and we usually try to close for good friday unless production is way backed up or something... i'm pretty confident that we won't work or if we do work it will just be a half day... i've already talked to km and they said that if i'm not working here i'll go over there and work... which would be nice, maybe i could kinda get caught up over there... even though there will be no real catching up until tax season is over!! :)
saturday night after i get off work r and i are going to go look for a tv... the one in the living room is small... i say small, it's not that small, but it's just not big! so we're going to go look for a big tv.... that's r's birthday present.... we're getting a new tv!!! i'm really excited about it too!!! now we'll have an awesome tv to go with our awesome surround sound so that now when we watch the race it'll be way more excellent!! i feel like there was about a million more things i was going to blog about but of course they all left me when i actually started blogging... anywho, instead of working on reconciling the restaurant's checking account, i thought i'd blog... i feel better and i'm so glad i got to blog!!! i miss it!! more soon!!!
for the most part, the secret was a good book... it did bring me back to the mindset i need to have... well, it made me aware that my mindset hasn't been what it needs to be.... so i am working on trying to stay positive... and for the most part, i think i've been doing a really good job... don't get me wrong, i've had my negative days but that's just something that's going to happen.... one day i'll share some of the book's end of chapter summaries... i would now but it's out in the car and i really don't want to go get it...
so, what has been going on.... last week....
tuesday- went to my psychiatrist that morning... he said good deal about my positive attitude... that changing your attitude will, can, and does help your outlook and how you feel... he gave me a kudos on the attitude thing, he said, especially because of my back.... later that morning i had an appt with my back dr... we talked about different treatments and he told me that if i wanted to see orthopedic surgeon he would be happy to refer me to one but he thinks that we should do a cortizone shot or two first to try to relieve some of the pain... he isn't for sure if the surgeon would treat me with everything being as irritated as it is... the surgeon would probably want to do something else first to take away some of the swelling and irritation... so we're going to be setting up a series of up to three shots to see if they will take away some (or most) of the pain... then he asked how my pain meds were working... i said, well, they really don't seem to be helping... his reply was that he didn't think so from the looks of my mri & xrays... so he put me on morphine patches (duragesic) until we can get the back calmed down a bit... i've been on the patches before and didn't have any problems with them... i haven't seemed to have any problems with these either... besides the irritability... but, i think that all opiods will cause irritability in me... each patch works for 72 hours.... then you take that one off and slap another one on.... :) the patches are working better than the pills though and right now i'll take whatever works!! he said that he thinks that the reason i keep having such bad headaches is because i have no curve in my neck.... i've done a little researching on this and everything that i've seen seems to link no neck curve to bad headaches... very interesting....
thursday- i went and signed the papers for my car... r went and signed them on friday... the '03 white passat i blogged about last time is mine!! his name is phoenix... and i love him!! he is so nice!!! don't worry, pics are coming soon!! they detailed my car for me yesterday so he looks really good today!!
friday- r's 33rd birthday... i went out to eat with jw and her family (r was working)... we went to the restaurant and then jw and i went and got a pedicure!! that was the first real pedicure i've ever had and i loved it!!! i really enjoy hanging out with jw and her family... they are so much fun!! and get this, i love her kids... they are so fun!!! (and that is scary to me!!) but yeah, they are so much fun...
saturday- i worked... r decided (at the last minute) to close on saturday, just because he didn't want to work, and that was a hot button for me... i'm over it now but it was just the whole situation that pissed me off, not just the fact that he wasn't working... i'm not going to get into it because i don't want to dredge it all up again... let bygones be bygones.... when i got off work kb and her husband were in town... it was really good to see them because r and i hadn't seen them or hung out with them in forever!!! it's always nice to see old friends!!! i just feel kinda bad because i wasn't in the best mood though... i was tired, in pain, and upset (at r).... kb did bring me a beautiful present though!!! her name is goldie and she is a "porch kitty"... a statue... i'll have to post a pic of her!!!
oh yeah, ewok is pregnant!!! yes she is, i know, i know!! kb pointed that out on saturday!!! ewok is so tiny too!!! bless her heart!!! i feel for her!!! poor little kitty momma!!!
sunday- worked on the weekly numbers and payroll.... watched the race... carl came in 14th (i think).... sunday was productive but not as productive as i hoped it would be... that's ok though... i have another one coming up!!!
i'm not sure if my work will be open on friday.... my boss, t, is a devout catholic and we usually try to close for good friday unless production is way backed up or something... i'm pretty confident that we won't work or if we do work it will just be a half day... i've already talked to km and they said that if i'm not working here i'll go over there and work... which would be nice, maybe i could kinda get caught up over there... even though there will be no real catching up until tax season is over!! :)
saturday night after i get off work r and i are going to go look for a tv... the one in the living room is small... i say small, it's not that small, but it's just not big! so we're going to go look for a big tv.... that's r's birthday present.... we're getting a new tv!!! i'm really excited about it too!!! now we'll have an awesome tv to go with our awesome surround sound so that now when we watch the race it'll be way more excellent!! i feel like there was about a million more things i was going to blog about but of course they all left me when i actually started blogging... anywho, instead of working on reconciling the restaurant's checking account, i thought i'd blog... i feel better and i'm so glad i got to blog!!! i miss it!! more soon!!!
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