Tired!

i haven't blogged in a week.. my head has been bothering me and i have had so much stuff going on... i had a cat scan done on my head on monday to see if there is something "medically" wrong with my head that keeps causing me to have these headaches... for the past several years my sinus infections that i thought i kept getting (along with my doctor) haven't really been sinus infections... well, some of them might have been but not all of them... for some reason, and we don't know why, my head hurts, pretty much all the time... there might be one or two days out of the week where my head doesn't hurt (or not very bad anyways) but for the most part it's a constant headache... not just a small one either... on the really "good" days it feels like someone is stabbing an ice pick in my sinuses usually above my right eye... it usually hurts on the right side... so i had a cat scan done since the headaches have been so consistent for so long and the intensity of the headaches has been growing... i don't know what to think about my headaches... it's a catch 22... i don't want anything to show up on the cat scan because then that will involve my head/brain/sinuses but if nothing shows up then does that mean that there is no reason that i should be having these headaches? i don't know... all i know is that we finally got my back "fixed".. it hasn't bothered me in a while, other than the occasional ache or pain.... but now my head... i talked to momma and she said i've had headaches my whole life... and i don't think i've ever had any tests run to see if there was a reason.... so, i guess we'll just have to wait and see....
murph has acne, still.... poor guy.. i took him to the vet two fridays ago and they gave him so antibiotics and i can't really tell if they're helping or not... he has some acne on his neck now, it's not just below his lower lip... so we may be planning on another trip to the vet... they said if his acne doesn't clear up they may have to give him monthly steriod shots... poor little murph!! it doesn't bother him but the vet said it can cause an infection so we need to watch it...
besides that r and i have been trying to work around the house and get things cleaned up and/or fixed up... it's just really frustrating to try and do something when my head hurts as bad as it does... but, we're doing the best we can and that's all we can do... i trust though that there is a plan and whatever the plan is going to be for me it's for the best... it will all work out according to the universe.... and as long as i know and trust in that everything will be good and fine...
r and i are debating on driving to new mexico for thanksgiving next week... his mom and step-dad invited us down... his mom is flying his brother out and his sister lives there so it will be mom and the kids, if we go... i wouldn't mind going but the only thing i am dreading is the drive... not there so much as back.. when we get back it'll be a mad dash to get everything done, i.e. laundry & stuff, before we have to go back to work... and i was really just hoping for a nice, quiet, relaxing long weekend... we'll see though... i'm not sure what we're going to do... and i was really hoping to try to get the christmas decorations (what we have.. hehe) out and maybe start on those... so, we'll just have to wait and see.... it's no biggie though.... whatever happens will be fine, no reason to stress over it... especially something that we have a choice about and can control...
besides my headaches things have been going very well... coincidences are popping up all over the place... the emails that i have been getting really seem to focus on what is going on with me and what reassurance i need... it's really awesome to see this power alive and working in my life... that is exciting! i'm still trying to stay positive and keep my thoughts positive! most of the time i do pretty good! r has even commented on the difference! (and you know it has to be "significant" for a man to notice a difference.. hehe).... i have noticed though that when i take a pain pill (i took one the other day to see if it would help my head any) that i was so irritable and wasn't nearly as calm as when i'm not on anything except my anti-depressants... so, now the pills are affecting me in ways that i hadn't noticed before and to be honest, i'm glad... another reason to stay off of them and not get back on them... sometimes it's still a struggle though... but i have to say that i am proud of myself, i think i'm doing really good... especially considering where i was say, 6 months or a year ago... doped up pill head... oops... but, i'm not going to lie anymore, i knew it (it did take me a while to realize it though) and didn't want to do anything about it... but i'm glad i did!! my life is changing and i am glad! i am welcoming the change!
i must say though that everything seems to be much better... life in general, my relationship with r and everyone else......this "new" way of thinking is going well and is making things so much better! i haven't really let myself into any uncomfortable situations though yet... i'm working on that... right now i'm just trying to stay in my comfort zone.... soon though, soon! i must say though that r and i have been getting along really well lately... maybe it's my new outlook on things.. all i know is that i am so happy and consider myself so lucky to have such a wonderful husband! he has been so sweet and nice lately! i am loving it! and him!
i'm going to work now, get my billing done so that i'll be through for the day! more soon!