lately i have "stumbled" upon many emails and articles dealing with fear vs. love based actions and forgiveness... i know the universe is trying to tell me to just let it all go... all the ugliness, hatred, and negative feelings that i still harbor inside of me... and i am really trying to work on that so that i can accomplish that... this one article that i'm currently reading (here is the website address if you wish to read the whole article: http://www.everydaywisdom.us/articles/article_nl.htm) describes the way i feel and then goes on to describe the way i should think:
We learn to choose fear and don’t forgive ourselves or anyone else for mistakes until they suffer just the right amount. I’m not talking about the authentic emotion of fear in the moment of danger that is revealing the truth of the situation, I’m talking about unfounded fear, fear based on lies. Every moment has an emotional perspective. So, all our experiences, no matter how old, have emotional memory. Past experiences have an emotional point of view that was, in the moment they happened, telling the truth. If emotional drama and judgement follow then the perspective is full of fear. Fear we won’t be accepted. Fear we are not enough. Fear we won’t get it right. Fear we’re not safe. But these fears are not about any clear or present danger, they are the emotions attached to old memories that in this moment simply are not true. Only the servants of fear do not forgive. Sometimes we make choices that don't work out and we later regret. It can be a learning experience, or a lifelong wound. It’s up to you to choose. If you don’t like the results of your actions do something else. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are constantly changing, evolving and growing. Your best self is what you are right now, nothing more, nothing less. Your best self in the future is whatever you decide it will be when you take action to make it so.
that is me... i don't feel that i should be forgiven for my mistakes (or that anyone else should, maybe not anyone but for sure certain people, and yes, it is the same people over and over) until i have suffered to the extreme.... i need to know and feel the pain that i have caused myself (and others need to feel the pain that they have caused me) before i can really let it go... and sometimes not even then... for instance, grandma c... crazy nut that she is, i still harbor very negative feelings for her... have i forgiven her for her "attitude and slights toward me" when in reality she is just acting the way she always does, towards everyone... i'm honestly not sure... i have been thinking about this a lot lately and i can't figure it out... when i think about her i don't get raving mad like i used too... but at the same time i still get a little knot in my stomach... (at least i've managed to work it down to just a little knot instead of just flying off the handle).... i have been trying to remember the feeling i felt when all this different stuff happened with grandma c... and to be honest, i can and can't.... i know what she said hurt me... i didn't think grandma's were supposed to think like that... or actually say things like that... and this was years ago... i think that maybe part of what she said lead to some of my insecurities... i'm not blaming it all on her (it's not all her fault, i let her affect me like that)... i'm working on chosing love and positive ways of thinking as opposed to fear and negative ways of thinking... We each create our own reality simply by what we agree to believe. i know deep down in my soul that this statement is true now i just need to align my thoughts and beliefs with that statement, no more doubting! like i keep saying, i am working on it! and i know i can do it! i have faith in myself and i know that i do want and need to change and i am going too! it's so crazy the way that the phrase what you put into life is what you get out of it is so true! i have seen it in many small ways so far and am trying to change my way of thinking so that all things that are manifested in my life are positive... and in every situation there is a positive, sometimes you might have to look for it but it is there!
tomorrow is thanksgiving and i have been thinking today about the things that i am grateful for... the list is so long and continues to grow! we shouldn't have to have a holiday to say thank you to the universe for all that it has provided for us... we should be thankful every day for what we have and for what has been provided for us. i am trying to keep that in the back of my mind; to be thankful always. on that note, i am getting ready to leave on this wonderful 4 day weekend! i leave you with this thought:
If you woke up this morning with more health than illness, you are more blessed than the million people around the world that won't survive the week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world.
If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world!
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy!!
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all!!!!
Please share this reminder of the many blessings we share to others who might appreciate this gentle reminder of just how fortunate they really are too.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture or the pangs of starvation, you are ahead of 20 million people around the world.
If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of this world!
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish someplace, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy!!
If you hold up your head with a smile on your face and are truly thankful, you are blessed because the majority can, but most do not.
If you can hold someone's hand, hug them or even touch them on the shoulder, you are blessed because you can offer God's healing touch.
If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read anything at all!!!!
Please share this reminder of the many blessings we share to others who might appreciate this gentle reminder of just how fortunate they really are too.
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