Step One

I went to see a/my lawyer this morning. It’s a very straight-forward uncontested divorce but since we have the restaurant a friend of mine recommended going thru a lawyer, basically to protect me since we did buy it while we were married. I can’t believe how expensive it is to get a divorce. I think our marriage license cost maybe $10 but the divorce is over 100 times that much. I obviously chose the wrong profession. They said that there is a 60 day “cooling off” period so it will be at least 60 days before the divorce is final. I’m looking for a place to live right now. I’m leaning more towards an apartment or something so I don’t have yard work to do. I don’t mind doing yard work occasionally but I think it would get old after a while. R is letting me take the kitties though.
Last night while I was reading the comments that were left by my blogger sisters, I realized why I hadn’t blogged about all of this. It hurts. Even though this is what I want and what will be best for both of us in the long run it still hurts, bad. I’ve been to see a counselor once, just to figure out if I was making the right decision. I’ve given this so much thought, ok, this whole thing has done nothing but consume me and eat at me for months now. I’ve come to accept the fact that I am ok with being divorced. I am ok with being alone. No matter what happens I will be ok. I’m still scared to death though. I’m overwhelmed with emotions. Sometimes I’m ok, sometimes not. I just know that it’s time for me to work on me being happy. This is step one.