Always on the Crazy Train

I was looking thru my blog searching for what I wrote about dc a long time ago and came across a common theme… most of my blogs contain something along the lines of: I feel crazy, I don’t know why I’m acting this way, why do I feel this way?, I’m so depressed…
I don’t think I understood what an emotional rollercoaster I was before now… don’t get me wrong, I know I’m a basket case, but I suppose I had no idea it was as all consuming as it is… I do know that I hate feeling this way and I hate acting the way I act sometimes… like suddenly getting mad over something stupid and insignificant or having a crazy ass mood change in front of people (very obvious, to me anyways)… I don’t know what to do about it though… I’m on all kinds of meds now and apparently they’re not working… or maybe they are and this is just life… I don’t know but I wish I did… surprise, this realization makes me sad...