Overwhelmed

I am overwhelmed and stressed… I feel like I have a ton of stuff to get done and no time to get it done.. actually, I just feel like since I have so much stuff to get done I’ll never get it all done… I have a bunch of stuff that I need to do for the restaurant, work, and then at home… plus, the holidays are coming up… I haven’t even given a second thought about presents for anyone… that makes me feel like crap but I don’t know what to do… I would try to come up with some ideas to make some stuff but once again, the whole time factor… R and I have some stuff listed on ebay and we’ll use that money for either the restaurant bills or to pay our bills with… there doesn’t seem to be enough money to pay any of the bills right now… I know that will change but it stresses me out because r and I have always been able to pay all of our bills… we may have had no money left in our checking account to live on but we always had enough to take care of the bills… I know it will all work out, it always does, but it sure has me stressed…
I went to the psychiatrist yesterday… the appointment that I moved up a month… once again we changed up my meds… we added another one… that makes 4 total that I take on a daily basis and then one as needed… don’t misunderstand though, it’s not just 4 pills, it’s a ton… of course they don’t make the strength that he has prescribed so I take 3 of 1, 2 of two others, and then one at night…he said that hopefully the new med will work and I can come off of another one! I go back in two weeks to see how everything is going and to have more blood work done (he put me on lithiobid) and they have to monitor your liver and thyroid or something… we changed my anxiety meds too… instead of the xanax I’m going to try some valium and see if that works any better… it had got to the point with the xanax that it would help calm my mind a bit, but my body would still be super tense and I wasn’t able to relax all that much (plus my memory was shot)… unless I took another one and then I’d just pass out… I took a valium last night but it didn’t really seem to do anything… might try 2 tonight…
There are only 2 more Mondays left to work this year!! 13 working days after today!!! I cannot wait… I really need a break and some time off and away from things… the stress is really wearing me down and people that normally don’t irritate me or piss me off have been lately… actually, it seems that everyone is pissing me off… that makes me feel bad though because then I keep all this anger and negativity inside instead of getting it out… plus, I feel like I’m always complaining about the same stuff… rrll and our finances basically… blogging does help though… I know this is all me and mostly because of my stress (the dr. did say that the lithium would help with the irritability and anger- as well as pms!!! YEAH!! let’s hope it does) … anyways, off to do more work… I just wanted to get this out while I had the opportunity…

Ah yes, I feel as if the wise Buddha was directing this towards me…
Buddha said, "Judge not others; judge only yourself." What appear to be faults in others may actually be reflections of our own emotional afflictions.

To end on a positive note though, 13 working days after today until a 10 day vacation!!!