Weigh In

last night was my weigh in at ww... i lost 3.5lbs for a total loss of 20.5lbs.... i only have 1.5lb more to lose until i reach my 10%! i am so excited!! i just need to keep walking and doing what i'm doing... it's coming off!! i feel so much better and am now able to wear clothes that i haven't been able to wear in at least 5 years! that makes me feel so good!!! still blah today... even the ipod can't get me out of the funk... it's not working right now anyways... i was actually in a good mood this morning, until i got to work.. it's all good though....

Snowballin'

where to start... r and i had a good weekend... we went and ate at the branding iron saturday night... sunday we just hung around the house and watched the race... carl, my guy, did awesome this weekend!! he is such a good driver! i was so impressed with him!
this morning when i was getting ready i kept having this reoccurring thought... and it scares me... she, my chiropractor, "warned" me about reading these books and changing the way i was thinking and seeing life... she said that once it starts to happen it will just snowball... the good and/or the bad... but as we all know the bad is just something that we can gain experience or a positive lesson from.... let me try to find an easy way to say this without giving up too much... i am so confused but i know that the universe will handle it and what is meant to happen will... i am trying, to the best of my ability, to give it up and let God handle it but i am really having trouble getting over the anxiety feeling.... what's happening, at least what i feel now and for the past several days, is that i feel that my demeanor towards some of my "friends" is changing... not in the respect that they are better than me or that i am better than them... i just see them looking at the negative side of things all the time and not ever trying to look at the positive side... to me though this is hypocritical because i was that way at one time (and to a certain extent, still am although i am working on that).... i am in no way, shape, or form saying that i'm perfect or even close to it... i guess it's just that i realize that i'm trying to change my way of thinking and they're not... it really bothers me, especially the people who are close to me... there are 2 imparticular... this hurts me... i feel like i am having an inner conflict with myself regarding what i should do, if anything, about these 2 people... then on the same hand, i am so inspired by this one nascar driver... wow, he always has a positive attitude about everything! he never has anything mean to say about anyone and is just about the best example i can find regarding someone connected to their intention... he is just amazing... i find myself comparing this driver to these 2 people and i don't think i can do that... that's not right is it? i don't know... this is a very confusing issue for me... this morning i was kinda a basketcase... i kept crying, over nothing, and just really couldn't get it together... it was my book that helped me get it together... remember no coincidences... my horoscope today said some very odd things... maybe i'm looking too hard...

You may feel hopeful or pleasantly surprised today. Perhaps new opportunities are arising for you in your work or personal life. It’s possible that there has been a change in your work schedule, domestic responsibilities, or social calendar. This change may prompt you to focus more time or attention on your priorities. If you are a professional, you may see a chance to move up in your existing field or step into something more desirable. It may serve you to stay open to the unexpected today. Try staying optimistic even if the normal flow of your life is suddenly disrupted. It’s possible that each perceived disruption is actually the creation of an opening in your life for new things to manifest. When we remain open to change we find that wonderful benefits result in the most likely ways. The world is in a constant state of flux, and any established patterns we may have for how we live are subject to inevitable change. If we can stay upbeat in the face of these changes, we will realize that we are creating doorways for new realities to come into being. We can watch with eager anticipation to see what life and the universe has in store for us. Keep your eyes open and be optimistic as changes occur around you today, and you will recognize each change as a blessing and a new opportunity for growth.

This makes me wonder, is this the beginning of a change for me... and if so, how big of a change... the way my feelings are now it could be a big change... it's scary but i am trying to make it all ok within me... find the peace within myself.... i know i'm supposed to imagine the outcome that i want and let it go and it will be taken care of... my outcomes right now are so skewed i have no idea what to think... and if i follow my feelings then i think i will be doing something that i feel is wrong, well, i feel it's wrong now, shoot, i feel it's even wrong to think this way... we'll see what happens...

Thought for the Day

The world of spirit from which all is intended works in peace, love, harmony, kindness, and abundance, and that is where I choose to reside within myself. My feeling bad will only ensure that I attract more of feeling bad into my life.

Finally Friday!!

it seems like the beginning of the week usually goes by pretty fast but thursday just drags on... that's ok though, it's friday!! things are good! yesterday i wore some different jeans, that are a size smaller, and they fit really good... they are so not as tight as they were when i bought them! i am so glad too!! today i wore my jeans that i usually wear and they feel huge!! i love it though!! that makes me so happy!!!
we got our tax return back today... i looked in our checking account this morning and i was like, there is too much money in there... now i know why!! another excellent bonus!! i am going to put some of our tax return money into savings... we really need to build up a savings account... i'm going to start on that... so, lately i've really been conscious of my thoughts and what i say... i'm really trying to change my ways... it seems like things have been going so good!! my manifestations are coming true, already!! it is so amazing!! i'm starting to see little coincidences... which as we all know aren't coincidental at all... the universe is responding!! i am recognizing these coincidences and thanking the universe for them... they are very much appreciated!! i'll just do my very best to stay positive!!

Back on It

it's thursday and i am so glad!! i kept thinking it was going to be friday, it will be here tomorrow though! i think i just needed a day or two to have myself a little party... even if it was a pity party... i'm back though! oh yeah!! i have walked one mile each day the past two days at the OEC (outdoor education center) and am going to the store tonight to get a walking dvd... the people at my ww meetings have really recommended it... that way i can walk whenever and even if the weather's bad! i think i am doing good so far this week... i feel skinnier... r made the comment last night that i was looking good! yeah! that makes me happy! my chiropractor going to the meeting has inspired me now too... i feel much better than i did earlier in the week though!
r has put his beloved crx on ebay... it has been on there one full day and it has 26 watchers! my email is blowing up with questions and people wanting to know how much to buy it now and end the auction! i'm really glad! it sounds like he may get more than he initially wanted for it... i'm happy that he's selling it... selling the crx has him motivated to sell more stuff on ebay... like the integra shell at his dad's house... he's been saving his money up and he told me last night that he was going to pay to have my wheels fixed... my new 17s that i bought, well, 2 of them were bent, badly... r is taking the other 2 out to b to get him to see if they need to be fixed too... he said last night though that he was going to pay for them... AND depending on how much they cost to be fixed he may chip in on the tires... i was going to use part of our tax return money for tires but i think i'm going to put it in savings and try to pay for the tires out of our money... not "extra" money so to speak... i am so excited!! i am excited for r too... he's going to be able to buy the car he's been trying to build for years!
it truly does make me happy to see this all coming together for him... but like my book says, if you dream it, let it go, and detach from the outcome, it will happen.... lately i've seen so many coincidences... yesterday at lunch i was reading in my book that all of the coincidences that we see are put there by the universe for the exact moment that we will need them... like, if you're down and you get an email or a call that lifts you up, coincidence, actually the universe gave it to you... you were open and accepting and it was there... more on that later... i hadn't blogged in a few days and just wanted to say that i'm doing much better! i feel much better and i've gotten out of the funk!! 5lbs to my 10% goal!! let's do it!!

Frustration

frustrated is the only word i can think of to use today... i'm trying like hell not to be frustrated but damn!! right now my emotions are out of control.. i went and weighed last night... i didn't lose anything... i didn't gain anything either... i'm still disappointed in myself though... i know i'm being too hard on myself but i don't want to be like, oh well....it's no biggie if i keep losing or not... i knew that the first time i didn't lose would upset me because i've been doing so well the whole time... yesterday morning i got on the scale and it didn't look like i had lost anything and in my head i was thinking, i'm just going to quit weight watchers.. who really cares... i don't... big deal that i've lost 17lbs... (yeah, i know, nice positive thinking!)... i'm out, not going... in the end i'm glad i did go.... my chiropractor showed up! she said i inspired her to go back after she saw me on thursday.... even saying that doesn't really make me feel better... it should though... i'm going walking tonight at the OEC... it's a mile around the lake... it is chilly outside too! walking around the lake is going to be cold... i'll just have to walk fast then! i was reading at lunch today and wayne was talking about a mantra to repeat to yourself when you feel negative thoughts creeping in... or you realize that they have... i want to be happy... i intend to be happy...
i think i'll be in a better mood when i leave work.... i can go walk and de-stress... speaking of stress... this is what wayne said about it when he was talking about the mantras...

Rule #6: Don’t take yourself so damn seriously.
As you encounter stress, pressure, or anxiety in your life, remember Rule #6 at the moment you realize you’re thinking stressful thoughts. By noticing and discontinuing the inner dialogue that’s causing stress, you may be able to prevent its physical symptoms. I use those negative thoughts as a signal to change my inner dialogue to: Courtney, stop taking yourself so damn seriously. I immediately make the shift from pissed to blissed. I take the focus off myself, and at the same time, I remove resistance to my intention to live a stress-free and tranquil life. I now see this person, that caused the negative thoughts, as an angel to assist me in reconnecting to intention. I stop judging, and actually see the beauty in the annoying gesture(s). I’m kind in my mind towards this “angel”. I’ve moved from hostility to love in my thoughts, and my emotions have shifted from discomfort to ease. Stress is absolutely impossible in the moment.

i seem to be having a hard time with this today... i think for some reason that i don't really want to be in a good mood right now... my co-worker is driving me nuts... i know i have an attitude but damn! i feel that he treats me like crap and takes advantage of me... i don't know if my feelings are correct or not but that's how i feel... i just don't understand... and on top of that, he's making me confused about what my "job duties" are and what his are... i don't know if it's because he's losing his mind or what but he keeps changing his mind about everything... one time i won't be responsible enough to do something but then the next time it needs to be done he's like, um, did you do this? so i just do what i've been doing since the beginning and now it seems like, once again, i'm "taking his duties"... ok, well then don't come in here and throw the inventory down on my desk and tell me to extend the prices... he comes in here today and is like, um, do you have any of the inventory done yet? so i gave him over half... since i gave him the half that i had finished he's just been sitting in his office with his feet kicked out not doing anything... coming in here and bugging me... i didn't even quit working but he didn't get the hint... come on!! the topper was when i got thru eating and came back up to my desk the phone started ringing on my way by his office... he just sat there until i answered the phone because he saw i was coming back from lunch... so it's not his responsibility anymore... i know i keep saying this but he is so ungrateful... i am so thankful for this job... it is awesome!! gravy!! i can sit here all day, work, and listen to my ipod... there's no way that would have been allowed at cingular! i just wish that he would remember how he felt when he worked somewhere else and came to work here... all the freedom and benefits that he gets... i don't see how you could just take that for granted... i mean, he's been "borrowing" postage for his personal mail and his church's mail for, my guess is, the past 33 years... i just want him to realize how good he has it and quit griping about this job and everything else... we can't change the way the world is so we might as well just accept it and get used to it... it's not going to go back the way it was... i know, i'm just irritated and frustrated today... couldn't have anything to do with my visitor arriving yesterday... excellent! i just need to go cool down a bit... but, i can do that when i leave and go walk... i just needed to vent and get that off my chest... hopefully venting about it will allow me to allow myself to just let everything go... none of this is important in the big picture... i just need to convince myself of that now... wish me luck!!

my chiropractor did tell me last night at the meeting that it took her years to learn to replace the negative thoughts with the positive thoughts... but she said that it did get easier... baby steps though right!?!

Case of the Mondays

it is monday... for sure... i have a case of the mondays bad!! i know though that's i'm not the only one... i am feeling SO much better than i was earlier.... thanks to my most excellent friend k!! she is such a wonderful support system to me... all i have to do is talk to her, or email, and it's like i instantly feel better!! i don't know how she does it but i sure am glad that she does!! i only hope she knows how much i appreciate her.... i was all upset this morning trying to have a pity party for myself but she got me out of the funk!! one of the main reasons i think i was upset is because i don't know if i lost any weight this week... if not it will be the first time in 7 weeks! that's not bad though, 7 weeks of losing!! this week was challenging though... valentine's day and the daytona 500... plus, r and i haven't been feeling too swell.... my throat's been hurting... he's still not feeling good... he was taking some antibiotics, ran out, and is feeling bad again.... back to the weight thing... i'm giving myself 3 weeks to get to my 10%.... that's counting today, ending of the first week... i would hate to be a failure... this morning i was thinking, if i didn't lose i might just as well say forget it... not the right attitude to have though! as long as i don't gain i can make myself be happy! besides, it's not like i'm on a deadline or anything... just whatever deadline i put on myself... i shouldn't be so hard on myself... no one is perfect and well, at least i enjoyed valentine's day and the daytona 500! k and i walked once last week... well, twice if you consider walking at walmart... we walked half a mile there... i think i'm stressing the weight thing way too much! ok, i know i'm stressing it too much!! so i have 3 weeks to lose 5lbs! two weeks after today... but that's ok... i can do it! i just need to keep exercising!! i think it will be good that i go to my meeting tonight... i feel like i'm needing a pep talk... see, now i'm thinking, i should have just stuck with my original time line... not changing it up last week when i found out i had lost 4lbs! that's ok though... i'm back to the original time line... i will not fail!! as k said earlier, i follow through with things! i'd never thought of it like that before.... that made me feel really good!! i guess i'm still used to looking at the negative side of things... thanks girl!! i needed that!! i'm back on the positive side now!! all thanks to k!! you rock girl!!! i appreciate it so much!!!
the daytona 500 was ok.... my guy crashed out and came in dead last! that's ok though... it wasn't his fault... he was trying to avoid the crash and well, needless to say, didn't... i'm glad racing season has started though! i missed it! i watched speed all weekend long! nothing but racing since friday at work... i was watching the duels online friday at work... well, i guess i'm off to work... don't have much to do today but that's ok... i'll find something!!

Wonderful!

it's friday and i am so glad! i can sleep in tomorrow (if the kitties let me!)... i got the house cleaned last night and it didn't take very long at all... i kinda forgot about the ipod thing... i just put the ipod on and started cleaning... most excellent! k and i didn't get to walk last night because she hurt the ball of her foot... i hope it gets better soon! there isn't much going on right now.... just waiting on 5:00!! we're going to watch the daytona 500 at k & b's sunday... i am really excited about that! racing season is officially here!! YEAH!!! my brother's birthday is sunday, i'll call him and see what's going on... hopefully i'll actually get to talk to him and not his voicemail! mom's birthday is friday... i got her card already and i'm trying to think of something to get her... once again, no luck yet... that's ok, i have a week! anywho, things are really good here! not much going on but that's fine!
oh yeah, real quick, i went to the chiropractor last night... speaking of manifesting what you want in life... she wanted to build a new office... she's been looking for land and found some... she ended up getting the land and not having to pay for it... someone else paid for it... her goal in life, to help as many people as she can... it's not to be a millionaire or president of whatever... all she wants is to help people... she's the one who recommended the books that i've read and am reading... she is such an inspiration to me... the book i'm reading now describes people and characteristics and she is one of them.... to me anyways... i always feel so calm, cool, and collected around her.. i feel like when i walk into her office a sense of peace just comes over me... she said, you look so good!!! she can make you feel really good too!!! it's like she knows just what to say.... she told me last night that she used to have a really bad anger problem too... that really surprised me!! i would have never guessed... she told me more about her past last night than she has before... it sounds like i am a lot like she was... that gives me great hope! since she changed and is so inspiring i know i can do anything that i put my mind too!! she has shown me that it is possible!! she was telling me about her highs and lows... like i said, i would have never guessed... she is never in a bad mood, at least she never lets it show! she just seems to take things in stride... no worries!! last night when i was leaving i told her, i am going to be a happy and healthy person!! that is my goal and i will manifest it!! i have it pictured in my mind and that's what's going to transpire! watch and see!! i'm on my way now!!

ASPCA

the ASPCA is a great organization! i am a member and if you are an animal lover i encourage you to become a member too... the ASPCA needs all the help that it can get saving animals! (yes, i am a bleeding heart when it comes to animals!) they can't help themselves so we can and will!! think about it!!

Checking In

it's wednesday and it is so amazing how fast the week seems to go by... with one exception... thursday seems to drag by (most of the time)... other than that, it's monday and the next thing i know it's friday! i'm not complaining though, i'm loving it!! r and i are doing really good! the past several weeks i have felt such strong feelings for him and the kitties (yes, i had to include the kitties, they are my children!) stronger than normal... yes, he has gotten on my nerves but it hasn't been as "bad" as it usually is... it's just like i feel so much love for them... they are so special to me... my shift in attitude is also teaching me to find beauty in everyone and everything... i feel it's working... i am learning to control my attitude and temper... which is good... before the slightest thing would just set me off... now i'm able to not get mad about it or just laugh it off.... r and i have been having such a good time just enjoying ourselves and laughing... when he makes fun of me it's hilarious! no more getting mad or upset... he knows what the "off limits" subjects are though... i am so glad that i am feeling happier and more positive as a person...
valentine's day was good! after work, k and i went and walked almost 2 miles... then r met us at b & k's house and we all went to eat... it was really nice because there was no wait at all at the restaurant... that's one of the reasons that we went there though, we knew it wouldn't be busy... everyone was in the "big city" eating... dinner was awesome... wow!! k convinced me that it is ok to cheat on my points occasionally... i cheated last night and will probably cheat again a little this weekend... (sunday is the daytona 500!! i will do my best though!) ok, back to dinner... i ate a salad with real ranch, not fat-free... had a loaded baked potato.. and when i say loaded i mean loaded!! k ate about half of hers because she said it was just too much... is there such a thing as too much? sour cream, cheese, and butter!! i think that was the best dang baked potato i've ever had!! then i had a ribeye... it was good... not the best steak i've ever had but that's ok... it was still good! i was so full after dinner!!
r asked me what i wanted for valentine's day and i told him a sonic brownie blast thing with the cherries in it... yeah, i don't know if i'm actually going to eat one or not... i looked up the points.. woah!! a regular blast has 15 points and a large blast has 20 points, unless it's reeces then it's 21 points!!
right now i get 26 points a day... (20 points is a lot of dang points to spend on a blast i tell you!!) it really made me think, is it worth it? probably not! (i just thought of something... maybe i should look at it as rewarding myself rather than cheating... the word cheating makes me feel guilty!!) back to food though, looking at the number of points that is in something really helps me make my mind up about whether or not i really want it... this morning at work we were out of diet coke and i don't know if i've even ever had a diet pepsi but i got a regular coke out of the fridge instead... came back to my desk... thinking, this is 4 points... for a 16oz. coke.... that's a yogurt whip and a piece of fruit, 2 snacks or a meal! after sitting here trying to convince myself it was ok to drink the regular coke i ended up putting it back and getting a diet pepsi... i must say though, i was surprised! it was good!! in fact, i like it better than diet coke! pretty good stuff!!
k and i are either going walking tonight and going to walmart tomorrow night or we'll go to walmart tonight and walk tomorrow... hey, you have to walk at walmart.. maybe not as far but you still have to walk! then when i get home i'm going to clean the house... i could wait and do it saturday but i'm seriously considering doing it tonight... maybe tomorrow night but i'd really like to get it done tonight... then it would be taken care of and i could forget about it for 2 weeks...
i need to remember to stretch before we walk... my legs are a tad bit sore... i'm not complaining, just kinda thinking out loud... considering i went from totally sedentary to active in a short period of time... i am feeling better though... they say that diet and exercise can and will make you feel better.. well, it's working on me... seeing my body change, getting smaller, is so exciting to me! i can't tell you how many years it's been since i've weighed what i weigh now... my guess, maybe about 10 years... and i'm not even done losing yet!! i don't know if you can actually see the changes taking place on your body but i think i can... i can really tell a difference in my waist/belly area and the way my clothes are fitting... it is so motivating!! i know i keep saying that but you have no idea how many times i've tried to lose weight and have not succeeded... (i went to weight watchers when i was little.. i say little, not very old.. mom had to drive me... i know i wasn't in high school...) it feels so good to lose weight... usually i quit trying to stay on whatever program i was on after maybe a month... i might be giving myself lots of credit on the month guestimate... i've tried everything! and finally realized that diet and exercise are the way to do it... i honestly thought there had to be some other way... and if there is i couldn't find it... but like i said way earlier, i feel much better... and feeling much better has lead to improved self-confidence and self-respect... i'm working on everything... just trying to improve myself.. emotionally, physically, mentally... anyway i can!
right now i'm trying to recognize when i have negative thoughts about anything to change them into something positive or to try to see the positive in every situation... like i said, working on it... i do find myself catching negative thoughts... at first i would get upset with myself when i would catch myself thinking negative thoughts but at least i am recognizing the negative thoughts and working on replacing them with positive thoughts! baby steps... that's what i keep telling myself... i never wanted to take baby steps before because the results were never fast enough for me... with losing weight when i would lose 2 or 3lbs i would just say forget it... that's nothing compared to what i need to lose total.... now, it's a start.... that's one reason i am so excited about weight watchers this time and my attitude towards it... i am sticking with it and staying positive!!
this was in one of my positive emails and i really like it...
We can satisfy our need for acknowledgment by rewarding ourselves for our actions. We can be our greatest and most generous supporter. By turning to ourselves for recognition, we give ourselves the benefit of relying on a limitless source of positive reinforcement. We can acknowledge ourselves and our actions whenever we wish. We are then motivated to continue to do things that fill us with pride and satisfaction because we know we will be rewarded for our efforts. Reward yourself and your efforts today, and you will fulfill your craving for recognition and acknowledgement.

WooHoo!!!

YES!! yesterday turned out to be an ok day after all... r called yesterday afternoon and said he was feeling a little better... hopefully the antibiotics will get rid of whatever he has... his truck battery was dead so he got a new one... we checked on tires for my 17's... got that figured out... i can't wait to get my new wheels on!! they are going to look SO good!! i went to my weight watchers meeting last night and weighed in... i lost 4lbs!!! believe it or not!! i did!! i am so excited... so i've surpassed my 3rd 5lb. goal and now am working on my 4th 5lb. goal... YEAH!!! i have lost a total of 17lbs. so i only have 3lbs. to go until my next 5lb. goal! after my 5lb. goal i have 2lb. to lose and i will have met my 10%!!! basically, i have 3 lbs. to go to get to my next 5lb. goal and 5 lbs to lose to get to my 10% goal... (yes, those of you who are math wizards can now figure out what i weigh... that's ok, it's dropping!!) i am so super excited!! i can't even begin to tell you!!! if i'm getting super excited over this i can only imagine how excited i'll be when i reach my 10%!!! OMG!! i can't wait!!! 2 weeks!!! i am so motivated and pumped (although tired!)... i don't know for sure if k and i are going to walk or not... she wasn't feeling good last night when i talked to her... i think her husband "shared" the cold (or whatever it was) with her... how sweet!! after we walked we were going to go eat with b & r.... not sure what's going on now since i'm the only one of the four that's not sick now... i'm not feeling great either but maybe i'm just really tired today! (optimism!) hopefully everyone will be well enough to watch the daytona 500 this sunday though!! if not, no biggie, i just hope everyone gets to feeling better!! anywho, i just wanted to blog my results of my meeting last night!! keep up the great work!!!

whew!

it's monday again and i didn't even realize it was that close until last night... not too bad... i feel kinda bad for r this morning... he hasn't been feeling good the past couple of weeks and he was up most of the night coughing.... this morning while i was getting ready he said that his throat was really hurting and he didn't look like he felt good at all... the assistant manager is on vacation this week because his wife had their baby last week.... so he's already down a person and monday mornings are usually pretty busy for him, even when the assistant manager is there... now he has to do both jobs... he got up early to get to work a little early so that he wouldn't be too rushed but his truck wouldn't start... i don't know if it is the battery or something else... he jumped his truck off from my car... it was so cold out there too!! sounds like he's having a monday... poor guy! i wouldn't be so sad about it if he wasn't feeling bad... i told him i'd take him out to the clinic tonight if he wanted me too... i don't know if he's feeling that bad or not... hehe
tonight is my weight watchers meeting and when i got on the scale this morning it said i had lost 6lbs... i don't know if that is right or not (sure would be awesome if it was!!) but i just hope i lost... only 2 more lbs. until my 5lb. goal! hopefully i'll meet that tonight! i'm getting much closer to my 10%!!! i'm not in a bad mood per say, i'm just not in a good one... kinda indifferent i guess... i don't know, maybe i need to go to a meeting tonight to get "recharged"... i hate to say it but they sure do motivate me and make me feel better...

i need to learn from this:

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with his hair fashionably coifed and shaved perfectly applied, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
"Mr. Jones, you haven't seen the room; just wait."
"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to
love it "It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank . I am still depositing." Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Friday!

friday is here!! i am so glad! i can sleep in tomorrow... i haven't slept very well the past 2 nights... my shins have been hurting... k and i walked almost 2 miles tuesday night and then 2.2 miles wednesday.... we didn't walk yesterday because her husband was sick and my shins were killing me... wow! they are still hurting!! that's ok though, it'll be a restful weekend! things have been good here... i'm just kinda blah... my stomach has been turning though... so much drainage... r keeps waking up at night coughing... mine is just upsetting my stomach... the weather is so crazy around here! my ears are all stopped up and my throat has been hurting off and on... r still isn't feeling any better... he's been sick for over a week now.. probably closer to 2 weeks... i don't know what he has, he won't go to the doctor, but he hasn't been feeling good... i'm just kinda blah... ready to go home and sit on the couch and just relax... i wish my stomach would quit turning too... yuck! i feel like i could get sick at any minute... yuckier!! today will be over before i know it though (hopefully!!)... there really hasn't been much going on lately... which is fine by me! more later?!?

Bonus!!

AWESOME!! my friend, s, joined weight watchers last night and i am so excited for her!! she is going to be a great support system... and she told me about this website where the lady has points calculated for over 400 restaurants... that is most excellent!! i haven't had a chance to check out her whole website yet but it looks amazing!! if you are interested it is:
www.dwlz.com

Loving Life

i went and weighed in last night... i have lost 3 more lbs for a total of 13lbs... i am so excited!!! that is awesome!! now i'm only 2lbs away from my 5 lb. goal... that is amazing!!! i have set a short-term goal for myself though... in addition to the 5lb. goal... i want to lose 9 lbs. in the next 4 weeks... i'm shooting for 3 weeks but giving myself 4 so that, as we talked about last night in the meeting, i'm not a failure! then if i do achieve my goal in 3 weeks i just did it faster!! i decided 4 weeks because racing season is starting (saturday!!) and valentine's day is next tuesday... i saw a commercial on tv for some candy i have to have!! i'm hoping they sell it in the small individual packs instead of the large bag!! nascar kicks off this saturday evening with the bud shoot out!! we're going out to our friends house to watch the race... it'll be fun!! then tuesday is valentines day! then the next sunday, the 19th, is the daytona 500!!! yes!!! and here we are!! time to race!! it was too much fun watching the races last year!! i had a blast!!
k and i are walking tonight.. 2 miles we have already decided!! i can't wait for that!! i am so excited because it is getting to be that time of year when you can start getting outside and doing stuff... watching the races... spring is on it's way!! things are going so good and i am so happy about that!! it seems like everything is just falling into place the way it should... i know it is too!!!

Flippin' Sweet!!

i think this is how i started my blog last week.... i wasn't dreading monday this week! it kinda snuck up on me actually... last night after the superbowl r and i were talking and i was like, oh, tomorrow's monday isn't it... yup, sure is!! not a problem!! i have been in and have managed to stay in a good mood today!! i am so happy!! i go weigh tonight and for some reason am really excited about that... maybe it's because the weight seems to just be falling off... for some reason, it doesn't feel like i'm "dieting"... or re-learning how to eat... it's actually been very easy for me... i have been point conscious though! yesterday was an eating day though... i ate and ate! but that's ok... some of it wasn't too bad for me... and well, some of it was... but that's ok... moderation, right?!?! i tried!! what i've figured out is that if i watch what i eat all week long and then one night or two on the weekend i can pretty much eat whatever i want, within reason... it hasn't been hard to stick to my points though! ok, delivery pizza is the hardest! it's not like you just ordered your own food, there's at least one whole pizza there!!! temptation!! that's ok, giving in occasionally is ok, but all the time isn't!! personally i think i am doing great and kicking some bobo!!! i'm so glad that i feel that way too!!! k and i are going to start walking tomorrow after work.. i am really excited about that!!! (i know, weirdo!)
i had a most excellent weekend!!! friday night r and i just hung out at the house, i was SO tired!! we ordered pizza!!! (of all things, i know!!) saturday he had to work until 4 so i got up, put my ankle weights on, cleaned the house, and did the laundry... we have 3 steps that go out into the garage from the house and i was kinda running up them while i was doing the laundry... trying to get a little more exercise... i did stretch and work on my arms last night though! k and i went to see walk the line saturday night... it was such a good movie!! i really liked it!! we got the the mall a little early so we had time to go to some stores... i ended up getting a new pair of shoes (that are so comfortable!! and don't cut my feet!!) after the movie we stopped by walmart and picked up some grub for the superbowl... and then sunday, well, r and i ate and watched corpse bride before the superbowl came on... really good movie!
i was also going to say, the ipod is awesome!! i don't know how i survived without one before!!! thursday night i had to go to the grocery store after work so i went and just listened to my ipod!! it was so awesome!! i didn't mind it one bit!! i was in my own little world!! saturday when i was cleaning i had my ipod on again... just cleaning my little heart out... i think this is going to change my outlook on going places and doing things! i won't mind now!! just listen to the ipod and i'm good to go!!! it is so amazing!!! with the ipod, i can do anything!!
anywho, i just wanted to say that i am in a really good mood!! i am so happy!! i can't wait to go weigh tonight!! i am getting so much closer to losing my 10%!!! that will be flippin sweet!!! oh yeah!!! i seriously doubt that i lost 5lbs this week so i won't be getting a 5lb star but that's ok... because next week i'll get one!!! not a problem at all!!! i'm thinking maybe 3 or 4 more weeks, including tonight, and i'll be at my 10% loss!! i'm hoping 3 but 4 would be great!! maybe it will be 3 since k and i are going to start walking!! awesome!!! i'll let you know what happens tonight tomorrow!!!

TGIF!!

i am so glad that it is friday! it hasn't been a long week but at the same time it has... i just hope that today goes by fast... at least until 5!! my co-worker's mother-in-law and my boss's mother both died this week... both of the funerals are tomorrow at 10... i'm not going but i did get sympathy cards!
my stomach has been really queasy the past few mornings... my guess, all the drainage in it... my head has been feeling like it's full of cotton... headaches, drainage, yuck like that... r has been sick and doesn't seem to be getting better... this morning he said he feels worse... we might be going out to the clinic this weekend... i wasn't feeling good yesterday... my stomach hurt all day long, i felt like i was going to throw up all day but never did... just dry heaving.. yuck!! it doesn't feel much better today but at least i don't have a headache (yet!).... maybe i won't get one today!! i got on the scale last night and it said i had lost 5lbs... i don't know if it will still be the same on monday but it made me happy last night!! besides work, that's all that's been going on... feeling puny and ready to get to feeling better!!