From Blogging to Ranting

the weekend was really good, although too short, like always! saturday i worked at km's office and then that night, r and i went out to km's house... km and her husband were there... so was km's sister and her husband... we watched the bud shootout... carl didn't get to race but that's ok! he'll get to race on sunday at the daytona 500!!! and as long as we don't finish last we'll have started the season off better than last year!! sunday i worked on restaurant stuff... payroll and inventory... did laundry.... then last night r and i watched hollywoodland... it was a really good movie!! this morning i woke up in a good mood... not dreading monday or work... actually looking forward to getting the week started! everything was going great until i called my back dr. to see if i could come in today or tomorrow because of the pain... the lady who answered the phone was a complete bitch!! she made me so mad... so now i'm blogging to get the anger out and let it go... i'm going to call back and ask to talk to a nurse in a little bit, i just can't right now... i am so mad!
in my personal opinion, you would think that working at a dr.'s office would maybe make the receptionist a bit more friendly since most people who call aren't going to be feeling well.... she kept cutting me off everytime i tried to say anything! like i was bothering her by calling and trying to make an appt.... she was absolutely no help and didn't even seem to care if she could help me or not.... she acted like my pain was no big deal and it was actually an inconvenience for her.... um, hello?!?! i'm the one with the herniated disc with shooting pains that start in my back and run down both legs!!! she really royally pissed me off...
i want to explain my pain.... it is unimaginable... i had no idea that someone could physically be in this much pain... don't get me wrong, it's been worse before, i'm trying to prevent it from getting that bad again! first, i am out of pain pills... i have been (and can't get them filled until wednesday).... the pain had been creeping back since the end of last year but was kinda off and on again... when i talk about my back pain this is what i feel: it starts right above (sorry- i don't know any other way to say this) my butt crack and runs/shoots down both legs... the pain runs/shoots down the back of both of my legs and on my left side down into my foot... the right side only goes down about mid-calf... it's a shooting/burning sensation; the closest i can seem to really describe it would be feeling like your sciatic nerve is on fire, like a line of fire replaced your sciatic nerve... it freaking hurts like hell!!! i can pinpoint exactly where "in" my back the pain starts and can trace it down my legs... my neck and head also hurt.... i had head/neck problems before my wreck, but since, the pain has become worse... new pains since the wreck- my right knee and foot.... i have no idea what is going on with these... all i know is that they hurt and they didn't before the wreck...
stupid freaking lady that answered the phone, she scheduled me an appt for march 8th!!! (and had to make the smart ass remark, i'll put you on the cancellation list but there are already like 10 people in front of you so don't hold your breath)... you stupid stupid ignorant woman... if you have never had chronic pain before well, i wouldn't wish what i feel on my worst enemy, but i hope that someone diminishes her and her pain (or whatever she is feeling) like she has mine and makes her feel like complete shit because that's exactly what she did to me... normally when i call my back dr., everyone is super nice, kinda like when i call my psychiatrist... she's not just having a bad day either... that's how her attitude is... i've seen it when i've been in the office... ok, deep breaths.... i'll call the nurse and see if they can fill my meds 2 days early.... the meds help with the pain but don't take it away, they just make the pain more bearable... to be honest, the only thing that really seems to help my back are the cortizone shots... sorry for the rant, she really made me mad and hurt my feelings... now i'm going to work on moving past that.... just letting it go....
other than that, monday has been good so far... it's 50 outside and rainy.... the high today is supposed to be in the 60's (this weekend it was in the low 40's) and then on wednesday we have a chance of snow... lovely.... that's ok though, on the positive side, i get to go see mary for an hour on friday night!!! YEAH!!! mary always helps to make me feel better!!! i think i'm only going to have her do my neck, back, and shoulders.... work out my stress knots... think positive, today is almost half over!!

p.s... my brother got married on saturday morning (still waiting for pics)- it was a really small wedding, there were 5 people there- the lady who married them, scott (brother), kristen (now my sister-in-law), and their two witnesses... they were supposed to leave florida today to start driving to texas... they got an apartment in dallas! that is good news!! dallas is so much closer than florida!!!