Monday, November 13, 2006
Not Again
i'm sitting here on the couch when i should be out in the garage touching up my flag... at this point in time i do not care about the flag... saturday one of my friends called me and said that she was going to do the metabolic diet... i'm not exactly sure what it is... all i know is that it's kinda expensive... well, depending on how you look at it anyways... to me, it's expensive... one reason i didn't go back to weight watchers was because it was $12 a week and i wanted to save money because of the restaurant... anyways, when i got the call on saturday it upset me... it sounds stupid i know but it upset me... i'm not sure if it's because i finally lost weight so that i'm "closer" to their weight (i know, i shouldn't even be worried about it except that i've always been the biggest one)... i know, i shouldn't worry about that either, they love and accept me the way i am, otherwise we wouldn't still be friends... so, why does this upset me? i know i should be happy and proud for them... wishing them success and luck along with any support that they might need... i feel like such a horrible friend for even thinking this... it's really bothering me and my anxiety is like sky high right now but i'm not sure what to do... maybe i should go out in the garage and paint...
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2 comments:
Something similar happened to me on Saturday. I instant messengered a friend to ask her if she wanted to take a free yoga class at the school Rec with me. I said "Do you have a Fitness Card (a free card you have to have to take the class)?" And all she did was start talking about how she has been going to the fitness center everyday and blah blah blah... she ignored me and didn't even ask what I was going to ask her about!
She is a size 0.
I am not kidding.
I wish I had more supportive friends, who asked me about my progress in a kind, thoughful way... even if they do or do not need to watch their weight.
One time my sister (a size 6) was saying "I am so fat! Wah wah wah!" And I said, "Do you think you are as fat as me?" (I am a size 14) That shut her right up.
I think friends and family are threatened when their "fat" friend or family member gets healthy and loses weight. Sometimes it makes them want to lose weight. When Steven lost 50 pounds every starting telling him he was too skinny. Not true. They just don't like him that way. Family can be destructive.
This does not really relate to your post, but it helps me to share it with someone. :)
(A really good book is Life is Hard, Food is Easy, if you struggle with emotional overeating like me!
I think you should be so proud of yourself for losing so much, Courtney. 50 pounds is so much! Take joy in that and try to take joy in working hard to lose more (if you want). I always feel better when I go to the gym and finish a day where I ate healthy ;)
i understand what you mean... some people are so self-absorbed it's not even funny... km & kb always asked me about my weight and how i was doing... it made me feel like people care... :)
thank you for being so positive for me... that really helps me out... last night i was self-destructive and ate a bowl of cereal, the rest of the banana split ice cream, and then ruffles and finished off the ranch dip.. nice!! i'm going to have to check out that book... i am so an emotional eater!!!
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