Change

it's monday.... and i am stressing pretty good.... over what, change... i know that change is a good thing... all endings are also beginnings.... r's last day at work was friday.... this morning he got up at the same time i did to get ready to go out to the restaurant.... i think he was really nervous and it kinda hit both of us that we have one week until we open.... it seems that there is so much left to be done and it's kinda overwhelming.... when i talked to him earlier he had 2 employees up there helping him... he said that he didn't really know what to do... for me personally, i am not nervous regarding the success of the restaurant, i know it will succeed... i am sitting here trying to figure out exactly why i'm having a panic attack and my anxiety is flaring up.... i think it could just be general stress over everything.... r not getting a "regular" paycheck, starting our own business, all the stresses & responsibilities that come with owning your own business, and maybe actually opening up.... deep down i know that all will be ok and that we will succeed in our venture but change is scary... for me anyways... i need to change that thought though.... change should not scare me... (i've been looking thru all the postive thoughts that i keep and can't find one that i can kinda remember that i was looking for.... oh well, apparently it was not needed that bad...) i should accept and embrace change... i am working on that.... the unknown is what i fear... though i shouldn't... i have been shown that i can manifest my own destiny and knowing that i should have no fear for the future... i should be able to accept change and know that everything happens for a reason and that the universe will provide me with all that i need... and in this moment, i do have everything that i need.... if i start thinking about lacking and not having enough then that is what i will manifest... knowing that deep down i know without a doubt that all will be ok i am going to embrace this change... life was good before, r and i were pretty much able to go and do as we pleased but he had kinda hit the ceiling regarding pay at his old job... we were fine now and probably would stay fine as long as we didn't want too much more.... owning our own business will allow us greater financial sucess and there really is no "ceiling" to hit.... how hard we want to work at this will determine our financial reward.... this morning after r left for the restaurant i was having bad anxiety.... i feel so much better now though just getting all this off my chest... i just need to let the deep down knowing of success push out the anxiety and have peaceful thoughts and feelings.... i know this is easier said than done but it is what i'm going to work on.... out with the bad, in with the good...
on a different note though, we did have a productive weekend... mom and dad came out and helped us paint friday and saturday... we got a lot done.. we are so close to being done with the smoking section and the lobby area.... so close!!! once we got those 2 areas painted i will feel so much better!! we took the day off yesterday because i have a sneaky feeling that we'll probably be out there most every night this week and all this weekend... i'm fine with that though... opening day is coming soon!!! besides working on the restaurant there hasn't been much else going on... that's not a bad thing and i'm not complaining, i just don't think there is much else to blog about right now... until next time.....