Foul

last week i think it was safe to say i was pretty much in a foul mood all week long... it seems that maybe my mood has carried over into this week... at least today anyways... i received a few emails this morning that should have helped get me out of the foulness, i know it is a choice and i have the power to chose to stay in a foul mood or get out of it...

IT IS MY PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY TO INVITE ONLY POSITIVE EMOTIONS INTO MY LIFE.... NOW AND ALWAYS.....

right now, well, i don't know... i go weigh in tonight and don't really care about that... all i need is to lose 1.5lbs to get my 10% pin and up until yesterday i knew i had that taken care of... i didn't really care last week when i found out i had lost 3.5lbs either... it didn't make me in a better mood or anything... i got a lot accomplished yesterday, kinda got drunk, by myself.... yesterday i finished off my broccoli beef from hunan's... then i told r that i wanted to go to sonic and get a hamburger, ok, cheeseburger with bacon, AND a blast.... so you know what, we went and i ate my sonic bacon cheeseburger and my blast! 15 points for the blast and 18 for the burger... guess what, i don't really care... i know, bad attitude... but, once again, um, don't really care... r told me this morning to just get out of my funk and to just let it go... i said, what if you don't know what it is... his reply, just let it go... am i working on that? i don't know... i just kinda seem to be content where i'm at now... even though i'm not happy.... and pretty much angry all the time... does it make sense? no... do i really care? not at this time, no.... so the foulness continues....

(this kinda bothers me because this is how my mind-set was at cingular... i didn't care about anything.... then it got to the point where i didn't care about even going to work.... whatever though...)