Goal!!

i went to my weight watchers meeting last night, well, i didn't actually stay for the meeting i just went and weighed.. i lost 3.5lbs for a total loss of 10lbs!! i have met my second goal and am so proud of myself!! now my goal is to lose 5 more lbs, for a total of 15lbs!! but as long as i'm not gaining i'm doing good!! i am very excited!!
i broke my pedometer this morning... i knocked it off my jeans and it went crashing to the floor... did i mention it wasn't very expensive, just a couple of $$ at walmart... no biggie... i thought i could fix it because it seemed that it knocked the battery loose but i don't think i'm going to be able to fix it... that's ok though... i know i need to walk more!! that has been evident over the last week.... well i just worked on my pedometer some more and it seems to be working now... maybe... who knows!!
work has been kinda a bummer this week so far.... my boss's mom is in hospice and they didn't think she was going to make it thru last night... i haven't heard anything yet today.... my co-worker's mother-in-law is also in hospice, right next door to my boss's mom... the doctors don't give her very long to live either.... they are both in a delicate situation... i send all my love, thoughts, and prayers out to them and their families... i know that the situation is already taken care of, i just hope that neither one of them are in pain and they both feel peaceful and calm... every time the phone rings i dread answering it... hoping it's not my boss's wife or my co-worker's wife calling with bad news....

Here We Go

once again, i wasn't dreading work yesterday.... YEAH!! that's always good!! r and i had a really good weekend... friday night we didn't do anything except sit around the house and watch tv... saturday we went out to eat with k and b... after dinner b & r went to home depot and k and i went to walmart... we had to get groceries.... r had to get a replacement light switch and switch plate for our bathroom..... last saturday before our company arrived i "broke" the light switch in the bathroom... so the light was always on! it was driving me crazy!! r kept talking about going to home depot but didn't ever make it so i just put a lot of scotch tape on it to keep it off but when you wanted to turn it on you had to undo all the tape... it worked though! saturday night after we get home (and it's about 11:30) r asks, do you want to change out that switch? i'm like, sure, it won't be that hard... apparently the wiring in our house is crazy!!! we weren't sure why the guy had it hooked up the way he did and then when we "fixed it" we managed to fix it where the light and fan were on together or you had to have the fan on to have the light on... we had all sorts of crazy combinations... it took us almost 2 hours to figure out the wiring and get the switch replaced but we got it!! it looks really good!! all new white switches and a new white switchplate! so we got the switch fixed saturday night... sunday we didn't do anything... just sat around watching tv and wishing there was something good on! that's ok though...
tonight is my weight watchers meeting and i feel that i have been very good this week... i'm not sure how much weight i've lost, i forgot to weigh this morning, but i'll know tonight... 3.5lbs more and i'll have lost 10lbs! i did some exercises last night, nothing very hard or streneous but i figure every little bit helps... my legs are sore today... i've got my pedometer on... checking my steps.... one thing i do know is that i need to start walking more!
i was filling out the deposit slip this morning and realized that today is january 30th... one more day until february... that means that valentines day is only 15 days away... after valentines day, february is half over... so soon? it seems like it was just the beginning of the year... time is flying!! i have no idea what i'm getting r for valentine's day... not a clue at all.... it'll be ok though... no pressure! i guess i'm off to work now, i don't know of anything else that's going on... just trying to put work off as long as possible so that i have something to do all day long....

Awesome!

i am too excited... i got a green ipod mini and i love it! it is like having the best mix cd ever! all my songs in one place!! thanks to my friend b!! i appreciate it very much!! it's a 6gb ipod... i was like, man, i hope that holds all my music... i thought i had a lot of music... maybe not... i put almost all my music on the ipod and it didn't even take up 2gbs of space... it's over 350 songs! it's the neatest thing ever!! i've got a ton of room left! yes! i didn't have any problems setting everything up until it got to the transfering my library to the ipod... the computer has to have a 2.0 usb... i didn't ask and just assumed ours did... the computer does but the router thing has 6 usb ports that apparently aren't 2.0 usb... that's ok... r plugged the charger into the back of the computer and that took care of the problem.... i have all my music.... now if i would have thought to ask if our usb router thing was 2.0 i wouldn't have wasted like 3 hours trying to get the music onto the ipod... that's ok though, r figured it out! rock on!!

Got It

it took me all day long but i think i know why my pedometer hasn't been working right... i don't think it was close enough to my body... i moved it to a different spot on my jeans and it's working good now! maybe that has the problem solved!

Incorrect

i discovered yesterday when i got home that my pedometer wasn't working right... it said i had only gone 150 steps... and i know that's not right! it's 10 steps to the bathroom and i know i went at least 10 times with all the water i drink! so i'm trying to figure that out... i also discovered that i need to buy some new tennis shoes... sneakers... whatever you want to call them... mine are old (which i don't mind) but they are cutting (not too bad) the top of my right foot... just so you know, i have always had shoe trouble... most shoes always hurt my feet, unless they are high(er) quality... cheap shoes hurt me! all the ones i've encountered anyways! my feet are all scarred up from shoes... anywho, back to the point... i need to buy some new tennis shoes... i was looking online... trying to decide between nike shox, earth shoes, or new balance... i've been wearing new balance for years and love them!! earth shoes are excellent and they are really good (better than normal shoes) for your back... they are ergonomically designed.... i've heard such good things about the nike shox though... dang!! decisions, decisions! shoes are expensive!! the first pair i pulled up online were $299.99... they got cheaper but wow, i had no idea shoes were that expensive... apparently they are! so i might just go to the mall tonight and look around... maybe! i'm not a big mall person... speaking of the mall though... i called the jewelers yesterday before i left work and my ring was ready so i went by and picked it up!! i love it!! it looks so good!! it was worth the wait!!

Reality Check

so yesterday i set up my pedometer... monday night at my meeting we were talking about activities and how you should be active.... 10,000 steps a day is the target... or they said 70,000 a week that way you don't pressure yourself every day... i was thinking, man, i walk a lot!! 10,000 steps a day won't be hard at all, maybe just a little more than i walk now... um, ok... yesterday i was obviously "active" at work... and i walked a little over1,100 steps... just about 9,000 steps short of where i should be... i just looked at my pedometer... how sad... 120 steps today... apparently i don't know what "a lot" of walking is... hehe... i really thought i was doing good! i guess that's why they say get a pedometer... that's just crazy to me! so now i need to start walking... for real!!
i mentioned something about mazzy being a lot nicer lately... last night r and i were watching tv and she came over and hopped up on my lap... she sat there for over an hour! i think that is a record for her!! she was such a good kitty! i just sat there and petted her... i finally had to move her though.... that has never happened before... usually she's up in my lap for maybe 5 minutes, if that... maybe she's on her way to being a lap cat... i sure would like that!!
besides that there hasn't been much going on... i managed to control my attitude yesterday and today... that makes me happy! i'm hoping my ring is ready at the jewelers tonight... r and i picked it up last friday (the 13th) and then wednesday (the 18th) i had to drop it back off because a diamond fell out... and it wasn't even one that was loose to begin with... they said it would be ready monday but when i called last night it still wasn't ready... i don't mind waiting if they're fixing it good this time... hopefully so! it looked so beautiful when we picked it up though! it was all clean and shiny, just like new! the two rings had been sautered together to make one ring... i love it! now i can't wait to get it back!!

Goal!!

so, last night was my 3rd weight watchers meeting... the first week i lost 3.5lbs.... this last week i lost 3lbs!! even after my crazy pizza eating saturday night!! i have reached and exceeded my first goal of losing 5lbs! now my goal is 10lbs... i need to lose 3.5lbs to reach my 10lbs! i am so excited!! it's hard to believe that i've lost 6.5lbs over 2 weeks and it wasn't even that hard... ok, the will power part was hard but that was it! i am way excited!! my 1st "big" goal is to lose my 10%... getting closer!!
yesterday i was in a not so good mood because i was mad at myself... maybe not mad, disappointed maybe? last week i did such a good job of not letting hardly anyone wear on my nerves but yesterday it just wasn't working! i was mad because my co-worker was making me mad and i was letting him get to me... but i was talking to k and she said, well be proud of yourself for not getting upset last week! don't beat yourself up over getting upset today! tomorrow is a new day and you can give it another shot! very good advice i thought! i had been punishing myself for letting myself get worked up when i shouldn't have been... i should have just acknowledged that i was mad and then let it go.... i can now! and i am now!! having one bad day isn't too bad... especially when everyday used to be a bad day! so far so good this morning!! yesterday's thought said i am a peaceful, pleasant, & patient person the VAST MAJORITY of the time... it is ok to get upset... and like k said, you're not going to be able to never get upset again... sometimes it just happens... i feel better though!
i'm starting a new week on weight watchers! i have all of my 35 flex points back (yes!!) and i feel good!! i was so excited yesterday morning when i went to get dressed for work and i put my jeans on (which had been washed that weekend) and they weren't even tight! normally jeans that have been dried are a little (ok, a lot!) tight when you first put them (for me anyways) but not yesterday morning! that made me feel really good!! it's an excellent feeling when you can wash & dry your clothes and they still fit good when they come out of the dryer! that motivates me even more to lose weight, especially now that i'm so close to my 10lb goal!! i can do this, i know i can!!

Another Week

it's monday and i must admit that i was dreading work this week... the weekends are too short! i wish we could have the weekends 5 days a week and work 2! that would be awesome!! anyways, r and i had an excellent weekend... we got to hang out with some of our closest friends who were celebrating their one year anniversary! we had a good time!! saturday night we hung out and vegged... sunday we got up and went to eat at pioneer... yummy!! i love it!! it was really good to be able to spend time with them.... usually it's just kinda an in and out thing when we do have a chance to see them.... so we really enjoyed hanging out with them though!! thanks for letting us be a part of your celebration!!!
tonight is my 3rd weight watchers meeting... i am a little nervous... saturday night i ate so much pizza!! 30 points worth!! next time someone needs to shut my mouth... if it's permanent well, so be it... when i started thinking about how much pizza i ate it kinda bummed me out... i have been trying really hard to stick to my points... and i did this week too.... saturday kinda bumped sunday out though... no snacking this sunday!! that's ok though... it all worked out!! i'm still wearing my ankle weights... i told r yesterday, my legs hurt... i was like, oh, duh, my weights!! i cleaned house in them saturday! hopefully i haven't gained any weight! i would really like to have lost but not gaining is good!! we'll find out tonight though! i'll have an update tomorrow be it good or bad!!
i am trying really hard to stay in peaceful place.... really really trying... i like today's self talk phrase statement...
I AM A PEACEFUL, PLEASANT & PATIENT
PERSON THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE TIME
i am trying!! my biggest challenges though, man, they're tough to overcome!! baby steps though!!

On a Mission

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY B & K (tomorrow)!!!!!

i am so glad it's friday!! i had a great week but i am ready for the weekend! last night i went to the store and bought a pedometer and some ankle weights... i haven't set the pedometer up yet but i do have the ankle weights on today... r told me about this girl at his work who has been wearing ankle weights while she was at work... she hasn't changed her eating habits or anything but has lost about 15lbs... pretty smart... if you're like me you're up and down all day... walking around, here and there... so i decided to get some ankle weights and wear them.... you can't see them under my jeans! so no one knows!! the ones i bought are a little on the bulky side though because you can add or subtract weights up to 2.5lbs each foot... right now i have 1lb. on each ankle and i can kinda tell but not really.... maybe i'll be able to tell tomorrow... the store had less bulky weights but they were not adjustable weights... i wasn't sure which ones to get.... but i thought, it can't hurt anything... with me eating better and now doing this and starting to work out at the end of the month hopefully the weight will fall off!! i am really excited about my ankle weights... i am a woman on a mission!! watch out world!! r told me to buy an mp3 player to listen too while i was walking or gazelling or something... i've been looking... when i buy an mp3 player it's going to be on... i just hate not having music or someone to talk too while i'm working out.... it's so boring!! that will all change soon though!! k said once she gets this part of the cpa exam over with she's going to have to start walking to let the stress of tax season out... sounds like a plan to me... she takes the test on the 28th.... i'm shooting for monday the 30th!! i will have been "dieting" for almost a month... then i'll be adding in my exercise!! i'm telling you, i am on a mission!! 2006 is a year of changes and improvements!! let's do this!!

Relaxed

last night when i got home i decided to see if i could find these meditations i had read about on the internet... i did... i meditated last night before bed and then got up 30 minutes early to meditate this morning... i have never actually meditated before... i did both times though... it's an incredible feeling, if you can call it that... the same person who wrote manifest your destiny narrates the cd's... i felt kinda silly at first.. luckily that feeling didn't hang around long... i felt such a calming sense of peace... it was like i was just suspended there... i couldn't feel the chair i was sitting in or the floor beneath my feet.. it was amazing!! i don't know if this is how everyone feels or not... when i was done i still had this sense of peace inside me... i went to bed feeling good! i still feel good... it's like a calming relaxed feeling... i'm trying to just let everything roll off my back... like water on a duck! i think i'm doing really good so far! i've been keeping my thoughts and words positive... i also feel a closeness to r and the kitties... it's deeper than it was before... it feels that way anyways... it's like i've developed a new respect/love (maybe?) for them... i realize more how much they mean to me and how important they are to me... i am confident that they all know that i love them unconditionally and always will... even the kitties... (speaking of which, mazzy has been being so nice lately... when i say nice i mean she'll let you pick her up and carry her around... and pet her- as long as you want! i wonder if she's feeling the happiness and love that i am sending out).... they say you get back what you give away so i'm trying to give away happiness, love, and peace.... it's a little difficult regarding some people but i know i can overcome the challenge... i just feel as if a weight was lifted off my chest... all my worries seem to have disappeared and i know in my heart that life is going the way it is supposed to right now... i am where i need to be... all that is supposed to happen will... i have faith.... a quote for today:
"Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important."
i'm not stressing over payroll today... in fact, i'm blogging when i would normally be working on payroll...
last night in addition to the meditations i found some audio books of the author's... i started listening to one of them on the way to work this morning... what he says makes a lot of sense... i learned that to solve a problem or dilemma you must look inside yourself for the answer... no one else can find the right answer for you... it is in you... you can't look outside your self and hope to find the right answer... Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."... it is true... find peace within yourself... that's what i'm working on... so far so good!! oddly, i feel much more in control of my life... who would have thought when i started this blog last june that i would have come this far... i have found the road to peace in my life... i have overcome my prescription drug addictions... i am working on overcoming my food addiction... i quit smoking... i am changing my life for the better and i am in control of my life! honestly i never thought i would get here... and i'm just in the beginning... i can't imagine the results when i've been working on this for a while!!

Motivated!!

so i went to my weight watchers meeting last night... to be honest, i really didn't want to go... but i did... r was giving me a hard time about not going, which i am glad... he's being very supportive during this time of change... i lost 3.5lbs. ... my mindset before would have been, just 3.5lbs, this isn't worth it... but now it's i lost 3.5lbs., i didn't gain anything!! my goal right now is to lose 5 lbs... (baby steps!)... after i accomplish that goal i'll make it my goal to lose 10 lbs... just slowly work my way up... i also lost just enough weight to lose 2 points on the weight watchers program... that means that i have 2 points less today than i did yesterday for food... but that's ok, i can do this!! i guess it's kinda like rehab but for large people... they wean you off food... hehe... sounds kinda silly but it's true... i started drinking diet coke (0 points!) and will only allow myself a real coke on "special" occasions... a real coke (12 oz., not 20oz.) is 3 points!! now i'm learning to weigh what is important to me... and i'm learning portion control... which i personally hate, but i'm learning it... the portions today are huge but that's what i'm used too... and i'm used to eating all of it... but so far i think i'm doing really good!! last night in class we did this exercise that i thought was kinda pointless... until the end of it... it's called storyboarding... you basically plan all the steps to your goal... i never thought of weight loss as a plan, or i should say, something i have to plan... i always just tried to fit it in where i could... and if it didn't fit, oh well... now i realize that you need to have some sort of plan, it really makes losing weight a lot easier!! my target weight is 136-151lbs. based on my height and body build... i would love to be in that range... and i will be!! i know i can!! the meetings are motivational... what they say is true, those who attend meetings lose 3x as much weight as those who don't... the meetings are helpful... man, i sound like a walking advertisement for weight watchers... one more thing and then i'm done with this topic... you can earn points back by exercising... i know i'm going to have to start exercising... i am so motivated now!!
yesterday i also got to spend some time with one of my closest friends who i have not seen since august 2003.... it was so good to see her and spend some time with her!! i miss her terribly!! things just fell back into place though, like she'd never been gone at all... i really need to make an effort to keep in touch with people.... i am so happy for her though... she is engaged and has the cutest little baby boy!! he's about 14 months now... absolutely adorable!! it's really nice to have a chance to re-connect with people you haven't seen or talked too in a long time... she'll be back in august for her sister's wedding... so i'll get to meet her fiancee and we have planned to spend some time together!! i'm really looking forward to that! (by august who knows how much weight i'll have lost!!)
last night r and i were talking and i was talking about all the changes that i am making... losing weight... quit smoking... changing my thoughts/beliefs.... it is a time of change but it is good change!! i have been so happy lately... that's what i told r, man, i haven't had a bad day lately!! it feels so good too!!! i am so thankful and grateful for everything that i have and all the opportunities that have been shown to me... life feels like it is on the right track and i couldn't be more happy!!

Another Week

monday has arrived and i wasn't dreading it yesterday... pretty impressive!! we had a really good weekend... friday night we ran some errands and watched a movie... saturday night we went to see fun with dick & jane... it was hilarious!! and it was also the first time r and i have ever been to a movie together... we had fun though! sunday we just kinda lounged around the house and took care of a few things.... nothing major though!
so last week i decided to take some real action regarding my weight... i had been really trying to watch my cholesterol but that was making me gain weight... i found out the hard way that what i was eating might have been good for my cholesterol but it wasn't too good for me in general... so i joined weight watchers... i am embarassed to say that but i did.... i go back tonight for my first weigh in to see how much weight i've lost... i decided to set a sensible goal for myself... to lose 5 pounds... then to lose 5 more... i know i can do it! i think i lost 4 pounds this week but i won't know for sure until tonight... i was so good last week sticking to my points.. until sunday... man, i just kept eating! i think it was because we were kinda bored... i think about the only thing i didn't try to eat were the shingles on the house! (ok, maybe that is a small exaggeration!) i like weight watchers so far... i wasn't sure if i would continue to go to the meetings but i decided too for a while... to keep myself motivated and to really learn how to eat better... the system that they use is awesome, it makes it really easy! you get so many points to eat a day depending on how much you weigh... then as you lose weight you get fewer points... plus, you get a "bank" of 35 points to use thru the whole week any way, any time you want!! that makes our saturday night dinners much easier! i didn't use any of my flex points until saturday!! i am really excited though! i already feel better!! now if i can just get motivated to do some exercise.. my chiropractor told me no more lunges, my back can't handle it... yeah!! i don't like lunges anyways!! so i am really trying to convince myself to exercise... k and i have talked about walking and/or riding bikes... that sounds like fun but right now she is studying for the cpa exam and it's also tax season... so she's just been a tiny bit busy....
i am turning over a new leaf this year in many aspects of my life... i am grateful for everything that i have manifested and i want to give back as much as i possibly can!! i am being grateful and looking for the positive in everything!! i am losing weight and i am going to look good!! (ok, probably not like twiggy but good compared to now... hehe)... i am changing on the inside and the outside... ah, yes, i quit smoking... last sunday... so it has now officially been a week... i wasn't full- time smoking, just occasionally... but i decided to quit occasionally... no more! i am doing good! i'm taking everything one day at a time... that's the only way to do it... otherwise the goal at the end looks unachievable... baby steps and i know i'll get there!! i'll keep you updated!!

TGIF!!

man, i am SO glad it is friday!! i don't know if i could take another day this week... it hasn't been a bad week, just long because i've been so tired!! ah, the kitties, they are cute and i love them to pieces but if they don't let me sleep thru one night i am going to go crazy!! monday night they woke me up about 4... after i got up and gave them treats i couldn't go back to sleep so i was awake until it was time to get up... just laying there... and that frustrates me! tuesday night they woke me up about 5... same story... they woke me up wednesday and thursday night too but luckily i was able to go back to sleep!! murph is too cute though... he comes in there and gets up on the bed and lays right beside me all stretched out with his two little front paws crossed and just sleeps... it kills me!!! i'm not mad at them but i would like to get some sleep! r said this morning, sorry that you haven't slept good all week and you've had to get up and go to work in the morning... well, thanks!! you could get up though... and he does... sometimes... but i'm not mad about that either... in fact, i'm not mad about anything... the "old" me would have been fuming mad over a few things but not the "new" me... i'm like, whatever... no reason to get upset, what's done is done...
i took my wedding rings to the jewelers to have them cleaned and sautered together last thursday and they said they would be ready by tuesday... um, nope... they're still not ready! i hate it because i feel naked without my rings! i love them! but it will be well worth the wait, they will look so good all cleaned up!! i am so excited!!!
there hasn't been much going on... i'm learning how to do some of the inventory at work... that's kinda fun... it's something different... besides that, same 'ol, same 'ol... that's fine by me though!

Unbelievable

i'm sitting here reconciling the checking account and this guy walks in... he's here to pick up an axle that one of our customers called on at the end of last week.... he needed to talk to my co-worker, who just happened to be on the phone with his wife... i go stand in his doorway so he'll know i need to talk to him and he turns around in his chair and faces the wall... i'm like, WHAT?? so i keep standing there... he finally turns back around, puts his hand over the phone, and is like, do you need something? i said yes, the guy to pick up the axle is here.... he looks at me like, what are you talking about? so i give him information until he realizes what i'm talking about... he finally does, thankfully... then says to me, tell him i'll be a minute, and gets back on his personal call... i mean, sorry, but i always thought that the customer came first... isn't that how you make money to stay in business?? he has it so good and he has no idea... he takes this job for granted and believe me, he shouldn't! it really pisses me off when he does that... this is one of the best jobs that i've had!! he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth... but you can't tell him that because he doesn't listen....

???

another monday has arrived.... i don't really know what to say.... i'm here... r and i had a good weekend... i got the house cleaned yesterday, it needed to be done! this morning i was faxing someone and i realized that i miss talking to people... in the office on monday morning... or just in general.... i could talk to my co-worker but.... i'll just leave it at that... i am having a hard time surrendering my co-worker.... i need to get it done!! that way he won't stress me out (as much)! everything else is going good... it seems that r and i are on the right track to where we need to go and that reassures me... hopefully things will continue on as they are... on the right track and trying to stay calm, cool, and collected... i guess i'm out for now...

Just Here

it's another just here day.... i've just been feeling kinda funky lately... yesterday and today my throat has been hurting but that's from my sinuses... i'm not really happy or sad, just blah... there hasn't been anything going on, which is fine by me... just working and trying to get back into the swing of things... getting up early is for the birds though! i've got all my tax stuff together to see if we can itemize this year, just waiting on our w2's and stuff... i know, it's only january 5th but i've had a little free time on my hands up at work....
i did find this interesting though.... sunday afternoon, before i had to come back to work monday, i was bored and goofing around online and ran across the 2006 horoscopes.... i don't necessarily believe in horoscopes, i just like to see what they say to see if any of it happens... so here is my 2006 horoscope.... we'll just have to see if it happens or not... very, very interesting though...

Money is usually of secondary importance to you, friend Gemini, but this year you’ll make up your mind to make as much money as possible. Geminis who are romantically involved might go into business with their beloved. You may create a new career that will flourish without even having to leave your day job, and while this will keep you busy, you’ll draw encouragement from the progress you’re making. Your romantic life improves, but with all your new commitments it may be difficult to find time to spend with your beloved.
Make the time. Love is more important than you think. Also, you need to look out for your health. Don’t push yourself too hard. Making money is great, but it’s not worth sacrificing wellness. Remember that.

2006

i can't believe 2006 is here... that means this is my 10 year reunion!! that is crazy, i didn't think i would live long enough to see high school graduation... not when i was little anyways... time seemed to go by so slowly but as i get older it seems to just fly by! i have several resolutions this year.... but my main focus is to stay positive! i think if i can stay positive then everything else will just fall into place... i just wanted to check in... work was ok yesterday.... well, i'm trying to convince myself it was... anywho, more later...